- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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I'm a big fan of the American restaurant chains Olive Garden (Italian cuisine) and Red Lobster (seafood), which are perfect foils for each other in our consumerism-rich dining-out culture.
So here's a consumerism-omen tale about a pair of media 'faces' creating tension between the two restaurant chains, and perhaps you'll find something educational in this short-story! Do we have to *believe in* consumerism to enjoy it? Why did the Taliban attack the World Trade Center in 2001?
Bon Apetit!!
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Tom Cruise and Jennifer Connelly had become Hollywood's newest 'American Sweethearts,' and they exhibited a public-event romantic chemistry unseen since the days of perhaps Tracy-Hepburn and Gable-Leigh! Cruise and Connelly wanted to do more with their 'celebrity' status, so they decided to become national spokespersons for the Red Lobster seafood restaurant chain in the USA. The executives at Red Lobster could not be more pleased, and Cruise was delighted to use his 'social limelight' to advocate a healthy optimism towards consumerism-culture perhaps not seen since the days of Reagan.
Meanwhile, the lesser-known actress Diane Kruger, star of the archaeologically-inquisitive historical-action film Troy, started dating an Algerian-American Internet-blogger and self-proclaimed 'pedestrian vigilante' named Ajay Satan. Kruger and Satan would post positive comments on the World Wide Web about the popular Italian-cuisine restaurant chain Olive Garden in the USA. Kruger used a masking-alias of course, and Satan wore a face-covering 'head-gear' to pronounce his 'vigilante' status. The Kruger-Satan posts about Olive Garden got a lot of positive responses and a big following.
Cruise and Connelly heard about the Kruger-Satan Olive Garden Internet posts and blogs and started feeling a tad 'jealous.' The Cruise-Connelly Red Lobster campaign needed a 'jolt' and Cruise and Connelly wanted to use the Kruger-Satan Olive Garden posts to drum up a Red Lobster vs. Olive Garden grand contest (this would help their careers too!). Satan was using provocative photos of Kruger to create collages of an idealistic 'Utopian' Hellenistic world where Olive Garden was considered a 'cultural beacon' of multiculturalism culinary 'exchange.' Cruise found some of Satan's Kruger photo selections to be somewhat daring and wondered how he could boost Connelly's 'magazine profile.'
Meanwhile, the executives of Red Lobster and Olive Garden became increasingly profit-minded and wanted to capitalise on this pedestrian-intrigue Cruise-Connelly vs. Kruger-Satan pro-consumerism media/Internet campaign. They decided to coordinate joint-advertisements with pro-consumerism slogans such as "Eat Italian on Saturday!" and "Seafood is Family-Friendly!" Unfortunately, an Internet-hacker working for ISIS and an ex-Imam working for ISIS decided to wage an underground war against this consumerism-marketing campaign, and America's 'cultural faith' in restaurant luxuries was about to be undermined in a way not seen since 9/11 (when the Taliban terrorist faction attacked the World Trade Center in NYC). What ensured was nothing less than a media freakshow. Italian-Americans, fans of the cozy Olive Garden dining experience, would be the ones to suffer...
Woody Allen recorded the whole events in his journal and decided to make the reflective sarcasm films Celebrity, To Rome with Love, and Seafood Gargoyles, so he could capture this Internet and media-related pro-consumerism cultural 'event.' Meanwhile, Connelly and Kruger became very good friends, but Cruise and Satan became hot rivals in this 'capitalism media game.' Fortunately, a mysterious Saudi Arabian investor (a prince) stepped in and offered some calming wisdom and sanitizing deeds with a Wall Street offer. Everything seemed to be stable and even 'sane,' and American doctors were suggesting that the right media spotlight could turn America's preoccupation with consumerism-gluttonies into something less corrupting for obesity-related social maladies (e.g., celebrity obsession, fast-food malnutrition, etc.). Mankind, once voyeurs into cannibalism and savage hunting, was now a 'consumerism diplomat.'
The only person displeased was newly-elected U.S. President Donald Trump, a finance-wizard, who insisted that this unnatural obsession with consumerism-related businesses would turn Americans into 'Planet Hollywood zombies.' Trump was more interested in flexing America's muscles to strengthen NATO and establish the USA as the premier 'officer' of capitalism domination. Trump considered making Cruise and Satan official anti-Marxist diplomats for a Consumerism Symposium at the United Nations, but he seriously wondered if the media attention created by Cruise alone would generate enough paparazzi-hysteria to tempt fanatical anti-American ISIS terrorism. "Is consumerism the Devil?" Trump asked himself ominously. Unfortunately, while all of this capitalism-hoopla was developing, the psychologically-troubled American actor Robert Downey, Jr. (star of the vigilantism-daydream Iron Man films) decided to assassinate Tom Cruise in a gesture of pure anti-consumerism schizophrenia.
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So here's a consumerism-omen tale about a pair of media 'faces' creating tension between the two restaurant chains, and perhaps you'll find something educational in this short-story! Do we have to *believe in* consumerism to enjoy it? Why did the Taliban attack the World Trade Center in 2001?
Bon Apetit!!
====
Tom Cruise and Jennifer Connelly had become Hollywood's newest 'American Sweethearts,' and they exhibited a public-event romantic chemistry unseen since the days of perhaps Tracy-Hepburn and Gable-Leigh! Cruise and Connelly wanted to do more with their 'celebrity' status, so they decided to become national spokespersons for the Red Lobster seafood restaurant chain in the USA. The executives at Red Lobster could not be more pleased, and Cruise was delighted to use his 'social limelight' to advocate a healthy optimism towards consumerism-culture perhaps not seen since the days of Reagan.
Meanwhile, the lesser-known actress Diane Kruger, star of the archaeologically-inquisitive historical-action film Troy, started dating an Algerian-American Internet-blogger and self-proclaimed 'pedestrian vigilante' named Ajay Satan. Kruger and Satan would post positive comments on the World Wide Web about the popular Italian-cuisine restaurant chain Olive Garden in the USA. Kruger used a masking-alias of course, and Satan wore a face-covering 'head-gear' to pronounce his 'vigilante' status. The Kruger-Satan posts about Olive Garden got a lot of positive responses and a big following.
Cruise and Connelly heard about the Kruger-Satan Olive Garden Internet posts and blogs and started feeling a tad 'jealous.' The Cruise-Connelly Red Lobster campaign needed a 'jolt' and Cruise and Connelly wanted to use the Kruger-Satan Olive Garden posts to drum up a Red Lobster vs. Olive Garden grand contest (this would help their careers too!). Satan was using provocative photos of Kruger to create collages of an idealistic 'Utopian' Hellenistic world where Olive Garden was considered a 'cultural beacon' of multiculturalism culinary 'exchange.' Cruise found some of Satan's Kruger photo selections to be somewhat daring and wondered how he could boost Connelly's 'magazine profile.'
Meanwhile, the executives of Red Lobster and Olive Garden became increasingly profit-minded and wanted to capitalise on this pedestrian-intrigue Cruise-Connelly vs. Kruger-Satan pro-consumerism media/Internet campaign. They decided to coordinate joint-advertisements with pro-consumerism slogans such as "Eat Italian on Saturday!" and "Seafood is Family-Friendly!" Unfortunately, an Internet-hacker working for ISIS and an ex-Imam working for ISIS decided to wage an underground war against this consumerism-marketing campaign, and America's 'cultural faith' in restaurant luxuries was about to be undermined in a way not seen since 9/11 (when the Taliban terrorist faction attacked the World Trade Center in NYC). What ensured was nothing less than a media freakshow. Italian-Americans, fans of the cozy Olive Garden dining experience, would be the ones to suffer...
Woody Allen recorded the whole events in his journal and decided to make the reflective sarcasm films Celebrity, To Rome with Love, and Seafood Gargoyles, so he could capture this Internet and media-related pro-consumerism cultural 'event.' Meanwhile, Connelly and Kruger became very good friends, but Cruise and Satan became hot rivals in this 'capitalism media game.' Fortunately, a mysterious Saudi Arabian investor (a prince) stepped in and offered some calming wisdom and sanitizing deeds with a Wall Street offer. Everything seemed to be stable and even 'sane,' and American doctors were suggesting that the right media spotlight could turn America's preoccupation with consumerism-gluttonies into something less corrupting for obesity-related social maladies (e.g., celebrity obsession, fast-food malnutrition, etc.). Mankind, once voyeurs into cannibalism and savage hunting, was now a 'consumerism diplomat.'
The only person displeased was newly-elected U.S. President Donald Trump, a finance-wizard, who insisted that this unnatural obsession with consumerism-related businesses would turn Americans into 'Planet Hollywood zombies.' Trump was more interested in flexing America's muscles to strengthen NATO and establish the USA as the premier 'officer' of capitalism domination. Trump considered making Cruise and Satan official anti-Marxist diplomats for a Consumerism Symposium at the United Nations, but he seriously wondered if the media attention created by Cruise alone would generate enough paparazzi-hysteria to tempt fanatical anti-American ISIS terrorism. "Is consumerism the Devil?" Trump asked himself ominously. Unfortunately, while all of this capitalism-hoopla was developing, the psychologically-troubled American actor Robert Downey, Jr. (star of the vigilantism-daydream Iron Man films) decided to assassinate Tom Cruise in a gesture of pure anti-consumerism schizophrenia.
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