Sundance/Goldfinger: Vegas Sci-Fi

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Abishai100, Feb 21, 2018.

  1. Abishai100
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    Imagine that the Sundance Kid (legendary American outlaw/gambler) squares off against Auric Goldfinger (fictional crime-master and risk-taker from James Bond literature/cinema) in a special 'Vegas time-heist' and discovers that a 'risk-phantom' has been released as an 'anti-capitalism' demon onto Earth.

    Why does gambling feel so much like science-fiction and bandit-folklore (e.g., Vegas shooting news-story, Hackers, etc.)?



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    American legend Sundance Kid went into a time-machine and landed in Las Vegas, Nevada in modern-time (TrumpUSA). Sundance wanted to explore and understand the 'casino-culture' of Vegas so he could compare it to the bank-looting risk-environment of his own time (the era of train-robberies and Butch Cassidy and the Hole-in-the-Wall Gang!). Sundance discovered the time-machine in the basement of a mad scientist. When Sundance arrived in Vegas, he didn't know that another 'gambling-bandit' arrived there too (Auric Goldfinger) but with a very different purpose.

    Goldfinger was a shrewd fat-cat who was born in San Francisco after the Woodstock generation and grew up with a deep interest in exploiting commerce/capitalism for his own ends. Goldfinger liked playing poker and believed that exploiting the 'odds of the modern market' in his own favour highlighted the piracy-intrigue of capitalism itself(!). Goldfinger was no time-traveller, but he went to Vegas with a purpose similar to the 'research' intentions of the Sundance Kid. Goldfinger wanted to evaluate 'gambling-flow statistics' in the major casinos of Vegas.

    SUNDANCE: I'm collecting playing-chips and hundreds of hotel coupons!
    GOLDFINGER: You're an idealist; I'm going to blackmail lottery-players.
    SUNDANCE: You're a ghoul, Auric; capitalism is about adventure (not power).
    GOLDFINGER: Really? I don't think you understand Wall Street, kid.
    SUNDANCE: I'm here because of a time-travel device, and I'm studying.
    GOLDFINGER: So you're a time-traveller, so what?
    SUNDANCE: Risk-calculation is a metaphysical issue, and I'm a philosopher!
    GOLDFINGER: You're no philosopher, Sundance; you're a daydreamer.
    SUNDANCE: I'm returning to my time with notes about slots/coupons/tokens.
    GOLDFINGER: I'm sure Butch will appreciate that, but I'm interested in bearer-bonds.
    SUNDANCE: I'm sure you'll become a 'gambler's devil,' but math reveals serendipity.
    GOLDFINGER: Mathematics tells us that risk is a pyramid (not a trampoline). Farewell...
    SUNDANCE: I'll win the argument when kids write poems about the lottery!

    Sundance and Goldfinger parted ways and continued their 'private investigations.' What neither knew was that a strange ghost-phantom was now haunting Vegas. This 'phantom' was a self-proclaimed 'risk-scrambler' named Mysterio who believed probability-matrix 'traffic' (e.g., lottery, Wall Street, Vegas, sports-betting) was creating a giant 'dynamics-net.' How would the 2017 Vegas shooting (an incident of capitalism-terrorism) cloud pedestrian concerns about risk-security? It all felt like a cool little movie (perhaps directed by Woody Allen!). When Sundance Kid sensed Mysterio's presence, he quickly concluded that Vegas/gambling was a 21st Century 'oasis.'

    THE END

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