Spy vs. Spy: The Real World

[Abishai100]

This is a media-critique inspired by Spy vs. Spy (a capitalism-parody series of sorts) and MTV's The Real World (a modernism media symbol of 'pedestrianism prose') regarding new age 'media brawls.'

This simple 'cartoon' is 'modelled' after the on-screen fun of a new age 'customs-film' (My Best Friend's Wedding), a new age pedestrianism-rhetoric 'civics-film' (Kick-Ass), and basic/general journalism sarcasm.

Media can be 'personal' after all.

Does President Trump care about the 'everyday childishness' of the American people?

SURE HE DOES...





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American actress-icon Julia Roberts made a movie about two women wrestling for the affections of the same man (My Best Friend's Wedding - abbreviated MBFW). The man was portrayed by sensitive actor Dermot Mulroney and the other woman was portrayed nicely (and viciously) by Cameron Diaz (The Mask, Gangs of New York). Well, Roberts' career was sinking until she made Neil Jordan's IRA-exposition Michael Collins (Liam Neeson) and then this culturally-festive 'customs-film' with Cameron Diaz. Diaz, meanwhile, didn't want to be 'type-casted' for her portrayal as the sultry anti-hero girlfriend in Jim Carrey's The Mask. When Roberts and Diaz clashed in My Best Friend's Wedding, the two actresses realized their on-screen rivalry reflected an ironic 'real-world' rivalry regarding the power of symbolic roles in modern cinema(!). Let the comic book writers sparkle...



ROBERTS: My movies mean a lot...
DIAZ: Julia, you got old, honey!
ROBERTS: Well, you certainly fit the role of 'angry bride.'
DIAZ: Hey, I'm not ashamed of what film-makers expect from me.
ROBERTS: Alright, so you're serious about character-acting...
DIAZ: As serious as you are, Julia!
ROBERTS: Look here; I made Pretty Woman and Michael Collins.
DIAZ: So? I made The Mask and Gangs of New York!
ROBERTS: I play a spiritually-awakened woman in MBFW.
DIAZ: So what? I play your passionate rival 'friend.'
ROBERTS: Let's not make a circus out of this heated-rivalry.
DIAZ: I won't...I propose we don comic book superheroine identities.
ROBERTS: Fine! I'll be Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew) and you be Black Cat (Felicia Hardy).
DIAZ: Sounds good to me. Dermot can be Spider-Man (Peter Parker), hehe.
ROBERTS: Dermot is much nicer than people think...
DIAZ: Hey, I'm not some naive little Hollywood 'ingenue.'
ROBERTS: Let the games begin...Spider-Woman will crush Black Cat, my dear!



Meanwhile, American movie superstar Tom Cruise was brooding about having made so many darn culturally-symbolic films such as Rain Man, Born on the 4th of July, Minority Report, Edge of Tomorrow, and The Mummy. One day, Cruise was scrolling through USMB (US Message Board!) when he came across the idealistic Internet-blogs/posts of an Ivy League student named Ajay Satan who was writing about the superficial qualities of 'Hollywood global culture' in the modern consumerism-gauged world of 'commercial etiquette.' Cruise donned an Internet alias/avatar so he could 'debate' with Ajay about the overlooked 'merits' of Hollywood/consumer culture. Cruise and Ajay soon became yet another 'voyeurism-oriented real-world rivalry' (and Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz wondered after all if Internet posters would add a new 'dimension' to this modern media 'commercial ambition' intrigue).

CRUISE: Hey man, you're too skeptical about the power of media...
AJAY: Aha, so I'm a bit 'hypocritical,' since (after all) I'm an Internet-blogger.
CRUISE: Precisely, my Ivy League friend; everyone's on media now...
AJAY: Well, I doubt if Comanche shamans are heavily into Twitter.
CRUISE: You can't deny that modern media reaches mass audiences.
AJAY: Alright; yes, the media (TV, radio, Internet, cinema) is like a 'scrolling newspaper.'
CRUISE: Yes! Haven't you seen the new Spielberg film The Post (Tom Hanks)?
AJAY: I saw the trailer on YouTube; it's about some real-world journalism intrigue.
CRUISE: Any Yale professor, Ajay, will tell you about the 'appeal' of modern media...
AJAY: Well, what about Woody Allen's media-sarcastic film Celebrity (Leo DiCaprio)?
CRUISE: That sardonic film criticizing 'characters in media' is considered 'brain-candy.'
AJAY: In other words, it's like the 'cotton-candy' rendition of The Post(?).
CRUISE: That's correct...
AJAY: I'll concede that media offers many 'voices,' but where're the old-world storytellers?
CRUISE: Maybe Dr. Seuss and Graeme Base are rarities, but we keep faith in Hollywood.
AJAY: I admit, I'm humbled by your obvious passion about cinema and consumerism.
CRUISE: Consider therefore the value of writing blogs about the virtues of eBay/Facebook.
AJAY: I prefer writing about the comics-adapted ethics television series Lucifer (Fox TV).
CRUISE: Perhaps we can agree about the human appeal of The People's Court, Ajay!
AJAY: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful rivalry (whoever you are!)...



After this heated rivalry between Roberts and Diaz and between Cruise and Ajay Satan continued, society-journalists and talk-show hosts such as Jerry Springer and Montell Williams were talking liberally about, so what would the media-criticized U.S. President Donald Trump make of all this 'real-world cutthroat thinking' (and media 'egoism')? Only time would tell...

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[Abishai100]

The Alien Chat


In 1979, Ridley Scott shocked the world with his groundbreaking franchise-starting sci-fi horror classic Alien (starring Sigourney Weaver, Veronica Cartwright, Tom Skerritt, and John Hurt). Sci-fi horror has come a long way since 1979, but Scott's original film has spawned countless media and sequels including Scott's own recent stark prequel-and-sequel Alien: Covenant (starring Billy Crudup and Katherine Waterston).

Well, you can imagine that such an iconic/potent cinematic franchise would have the actors in the original talking *deeply* about the metaphysical symbolism in the story presented in the 1979 film. So, let's say the two female leads in that original Ridley Scott 1979 film (Sigourney Weaver and Veronica Cartwright) are suddenly engaged in a provocative and brutally-honest media-symbolic 'modernism chat' (which arguably brims on a cat-fight!).

Do we really take movies (symbols of pedestrian psychology) seriously? How do we respond to the criticism that America has elected a 'token capitalist' (Donald Trump) as U.S. President who really isn't *in-touch* with the daydreams/psychology of the everyday working-man?

Actually, this entire 'Media Age' discourse is rather...contradictory!

This mock-exchange (below the Xenomorph pic) between Weaver and Cartwright was *inspired* more or less by the cinema-sarcasm films America's Sweethearts and The Cable Guy. The purpose of this exchange is to probe why we modern-day Americans seem so darn fascinated with 'virtual etiquette.'

Cheers (enjoy),






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VERONICA: This is an important film, so don't goof off on set!
SIGOURNEY: Excuse me? I have as much a right to be here as you...
VERONICA: Alright, perhaps we've both 'run the gauntlet' to get these parts.
SIGOURNEY: Yes, and I concede they're 'symbolic' parts, ok?
VERONICA: Really? You seem a little 'giddy' about just making a 'fun movie.'
SIGOURNEY: Why? Are you some kind of 'Xenomorph-alien' secret-scientist?
VERONICA: No, but I do intend to take this role (and this movie) seriously...
SIGOURNEY: Why? America's gonna be invaded by strange creatures?
VERONICA: Maybe not, but Alien is not a comedy for high-school homecoming queens to chew gum over.
SIGOURNEY: I'm not some 'high school superficial ball-queen,' and I foresee my character being valuable.
VERONICA: Yes, your character (Ellen Ripley) may become important to many women (and for feminism).
SIGOURNEY: I think you're worried your less major character will simply be...forgotten.
VERONICA: Aha! So, you are indeed thinking about 'generic media glitter' rather than storytelling!
SIGOURNEY: Hey, you brought it up.
VERONICA: Someone should; I see you not taking the role of Ripley as seriously as necessary.
SIGOURNEY: Look, I agree Ellen Ripley might be important for feminism; there's no reason to fume.
VERONICA: These Xenomorph-alien creatures just might change sci-fi horror as we know it!
SIGOURNEY: Do you *really* think the everyday American takes movies so seriously?
VERONICA: Maybe they should. After all, movies are 'pedestrian daydreams' and represent psychology!
SIGOURNEY: I agree they're culturally-symbolic (these movies), but I think you're being 'fanatical.'
VERONICA: Well, when this movie is completed, I intend to continue this 'chat' with you.
SIGOURNEY: I welcome the challenge, Veronica; I'll prove to you Ripley will stand-out (in the long run).
VERONICA: Hey, if you turn Ripley into an American icon, I'll toast to your success, my dear...
SIGOURNEY: I had no idea sci-fi horror was so personal to you, Veronica!
VERONICA: I want to go to a Planet Hollywood brunch and feel like guests are honoring Scott!
SIGOURNEY: You should be a movie critic or maybe even...a political cartoonist(?).
VERONICA: Ridley's film will generate a lot of comic book writing; we have to honor these stories.
SIGOURNEY: Perhaps memories of 'popcorn' and 'junk-food' will remind me of 'Hollywood academia.'

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