Should Adopted Children Look up Their Biological Parents?

[froggy]

After 18 to 20 some years, what do they think it gonna be. http://matt kennon discovers

 

[Big Black Dog]

My brother is adopted. He was adopted by my parents very shortly after he was born. As a result, he has never known his biological parents. Both of our parents have since died and have been dead for nearly 20 years. He made an extensive effort and did manage to find out who his biological mother was and made a trip to Virginia to meet her last year. This was done as a complete surprise to his biological mother as she had communicated to him that she had no interest in seeing him. He was not well-received and invited to never come back. He was heartbroken. I tried to talk to him about it all but he didn't have much interest in discussing it any further. I feel the entire episode was entirely his fault that he was received so badly and asked to leave. First of all, he did not respect the woman's request for privacy. When he discovered who she was, he did not respect her desires that he stay away and not communicate with her. He acted like an ass, really. He was adopted and raised by two parents that loved him, provided well for him and treated him wonderfully. They were in fact, his real parents. I think it is wise for people to be thankful for what they have been given in terms of adoptive parents and leave well enough alone. If you were put up for adoption, it was done for a reason and trying in anyway to reverse that has been in my experience a very very bad idea for all involved.

 

[froggy]

My brother is adopted. He was adopted by my parents very shortly after he was born. As a result, he has never known his biological parents. Both of our parents have since died and have been dead for nearly 20 years. He made an extensive effort and did manage to find out who his biological mother was and made a trip to Virginia to meet her last year. This was done as a complete surprise to his biological mother as she had communicated to him that she had no interest in seeing him. He was not well-received and invited to never come back. He was heartbroken. I tried to talk to him about it all but he didn't have much interest in discussing it any further. I feel the entire episode was entirely his fault that he was received so badly and asked to leave. First of all, he did not respect the woman's request for privacy. When he discovered who she was, he did not respect her desires that he stay away and not communicate with her. He acted like an ass, really. He was adopted and raised by two parents that loved him, provided well for him and treated him wonderfully. They were in fact, his real parents. I think it is wise for people to be thankful for what they have been given in terms of adoptive parents and leave well enough alone. If you were put up for adoption, it was done for a reason and trying in anyway to reverse that has been in my experience a very very bad idea for all involved.

To me it would be like, just going down the street, stopping at someones house, and expecting them to be an instant family.

 

[rightwinger]

LIKE many adopted children, Matthew Roberts set about finding his biological parents with a mix of nerves and excitement.
In particular, he hoped that discovering his father's identity would help him to work out what made him the man he had become.

But nothing could have prepared him for being told his dad was... serial killer CHARLES MANSON.



Read more: I traced my dad... and discovered he is Charles Manson | The Sun |Features

 

[chanel]

Too few women are putting babies up for adoption as it is. If they know that one day their child may try to find them, it might even discourage them more. If someone has a closed adoption, that should be honored.

 

[JW Frogen]

Many of my very close friends and lovers are closer to me than many of my genetic relatives. Discriminating minds chose their influences and love.

 

[Skull Pilot]

If my parents abandoned me when I was an infant I would not give a shit who they were

Actually I might have been better off if my manic depressive histrionic mother hadn't raised me. I might have turned out to be a kinder, gentler more compassionate Skull Pilot.

 

[California Girl]

If my parents abandoned me when I was an infant I would not give a shit who they were

Actually I might have been better off if my manic depressive histrionic mother hadn't raised me. I might have turned out to be a kinder, gentler more compassionate Skull Pilot.

Children are not necessarily 'abandoned'. I think it's oversimplifying things to view it as a 'one size fits all'. Personally, I would rather give a child up than abort it. At least then the child has a life and a chance to be.

Lots of women give a child up because it is in the best interest of the child. Those women are true mothers, wanting the best for your child, no matter what the cost to you. Seems an impressively unselfish thing.

There is no answer to the OPs question... it depends on the individual circumstances.

 

[chanel]

Women have a choice of open or closed adoptions. That "choice" should be honored. I also believe women who give up their children do so out of love; not selfishness. True selfishness is keeping an unwanted child just for the "check". Too many of those poor kids.

 

[JW Frogen]

Personally, I would rather give a child up than abort it. At least then the child has a life and a chance to be. .

I have a son, I love him more than my own life, but my wife gave birth to him and she loves him more than I can understand. I have nothing but respect and awe for those women who can give birth to a child they can not raise.

This is courage no man can really understand.

 

[Terry]

I don't think they should and one of those find real parents websites (forgot the name) but anyhow contacted one of my SON's who was not adopted but rather his real dad has been a dead beat dad since he was age 1 now that he was 30 years old and probably needing money he went to this website, and lied....put my son's information in ie..real full name, ss number and last known address.

So this company calls my house, spoke to my son, sent emails and I had to threaten them a lawsuit because these sites have ZERO accountability on who is actually putting that information in because it wasn't my son I assure you. He has known since 7 years old his dad abandoned him and had never ever wanted to find him.

You or anyone with just a little information can enter it on a website and say you are someone you are not. What if it was a stalker, what if me or my son's life was in danger? This company was irresponsible and I can only imagine how many people have been hurt because of them. Their answer to me was a belligerent one in that they stated to me "Well we got the email" Idiots!