Saturday Night.. Sex Lies

[fyrenza]

Wow.. did you, yes, I think you did.....

psssst.. (we're not alone)

Oh, I'm saving the DETAILS for PM...

... really

Prepare yourself.







Just saying...

I'm a BAD wEnder...

 

[Lumpy 1]

Well... dinners done time for some fun...

 

[fyrenza]

Shall I PM you, NOW?

Full tummy...

hmmm...

I'll give it time to settle,

settle,

down into your nether regions,

so that your little head can feed on those nutrients,

and OVERPOWER your big head!

 

[Lumpy 1]

Shall I PM you, NOW?

Full tummy...

hmmm...

I'll give it time to settle,

settle,

down into your nether regions,

so that your little head can feed on those nutrients,

and OVERPOWER your big head!

Soo... how was your day...?

 

[fyrenza]

Not NEARLY as good as tomorrow will be!

And I say that from the position of being sober enough to fucking RULE the words I'll be sending YOUR way!

Well...

except for one thing...

I don't think I'm just exactly sober, anymore...

SO,

if you'd like me to suck your dick withOUT barfing?

You're gonna have to wait a couple of mins...

 

[Lumpy 1]

Not NEARLY as good as tomorrow will be!

And I say that from the position of being sober enough to fucking RULE the words I'll be sending YOUR way!

Well...

except for one thing...

I don't think I'm just exactly sober, anymore...

SO,

if you'd like me to suck your dick withOUT barfing?

You're gonna have to wait a couple of mins...

Enchanting...

Perhaps a nap might do the trick...

 

[dilloduck]

Ive never lied about sex stuff. If anything i am far to up front and make men nervous.

Holy shit woman. Are you always this full of yourself ?

 

[FireGod]

It's hard, you know?

I'm frigid, so the Big O? It ain't happening with a partner, unfortunately.

But I know my husband loves me, and when he tries his BEST, Just For ME?

Cripes... I've got to make it good, BACK, for him.

If that means sounding like I'm cumming?

I'm there.

Sounds like a communication problem.

 

[Paulie]

Okay, Lumps, JUST for you:

I have wet dreams, AND I can achieve 0rgasm by masturbating.

Did I "cut to the Juice?"

Wow, I've never heard of a woman achieving orgasm by masturbation before!

 

[FireGod]

Okay, Lumps, JUST for you:

I have wet dreams, AND I can achieve 0rgasm by masturbating.

Did I "cut to the Juice?"

Wow, I've never heard of a woman achieving orgasm by masturbation before!

You need to expand your horizons then

 

[syrenn]

Ive never lied about sex stuff. If anything i am far to up front and make men nervous.

Holy shit woman. Are you always this full of yourself ?

See, being truthful made you nervous.

 

[dilloduck]

Ive never lied about sex stuff. If anything i am far to up front and make men nervous.

Holy shit woman. Are you always this full of yourself ?

See, being truthful made you nervous.

I'm shaking in my boots ,baby. Take off that corset and lets see what you got.


Got it----400 lbs of blubber. OOOOO I'm nervous

 

[Big Black Dog]

Sex lies... Let me think for just a moment... OK. Here goes. My member is so big that I've never had an orgasm because when it stands at attention I pass out from the lack of blood going to my brain. Hey, it could happen...

 

[Douger]

Never lied about sex stuff.

Had a girl friend way back in Vegas though that liked to get tied up, and I don't mean she'd hold out her hands and let you. There was a battle involved with getting her tied up, but that was the part she liked. Problem was by the time I got her tied up, I was to tired to go to work...

Buy a tazer..................

 

[Paulie]

Okay, Lumps, JUST for you:

I have wet dreams, AND I can achieve 0rgasm by masturbating.

Did I "cut to the Juice?"

Wow, I've never heard of a woman achieving orgasm by masturbation before!

You need to expand your horizons then

You need to learn how to spot obvious sarcasm.

 

[Colin]

Never lied about sex stuff.

Had a girl friend way back in Vegas though that liked to get tied up, and I don't mean she'd hold out her hands and let you. There was a battle involved with getting her tied up, but that was the part she liked. Problem was by the time I got her tied up, I was to tired to go to work...

I once had a girlfriend like that. One evening I got home and she was waiting for me in nothing but sexy bra and panties. She said to me, "Tie me up and you can do anything you want." So I tied her up and went for a drink with the boys!

 

[Lumpy 1]

Wow, I've never heard of a woman achieving orgasm by masturbation before!

You need to expand your horizons then

You need to learn how to spot obvious sarcasm.

 

[Paulie]

Never lied about sex stuff.

Had a girl friend way back in Vegas though that liked to get tied up, and I don't mean she'd hold out her hands and let you. There was a battle involved with getting her tied up, but that was the part she liked. Problem was by the time I got her tied up, I was to tired to go to work...

I once had a girlfriend like that. One evening I got home and she was waiting for me in nothing but sexy bra and panties. She said to me, "Tie me up and you can do anything you want." So I tied her up and went for a drink with the boys!

Plus the bonus is you're coming home to a girl that's all tied up and ready to go!

 

[syrenn]

Never lied about sex stuff.

Had a girl friend way back in Vegas though that liked to get tied up, and I don't mean she'd hold out her hands and let you. There was a battle involved with getting her tied up, but that was the part she liked. Problem was by the time I got her tied up, I was to tired to go to work...

I once had a girlfriend like that. One evening I got home and she was waiting for me in nothing but sexy bra and panties. She said to me, "Tie me up and you can do anything you want." So I tied her up and went for a drink with the boys!

tysk tysk


I know this is a joke viral but you NEVER leave someone tied up.

 

[Lumpy 1]

Never lied about sex stuff.

Had a girl friend way back in Vegas though that liked to get tied up, and I don't mean she'd hold out her hands and let you. There was a battle involved with getting her tied up, but that was the part she liked. Problem was by the time I got her tied up, I was to tired to go to work...

I once had a girlfriend like that. One evening I got home and she was waiting for me in nothing but sexy bra and panties. She said to me, "Tie me up and you can do anything you want." So I tied her up and went for a drink with the boys!

Damn it, I've never ran across one like that, it kinda sucks.

There have been a few I've put a pillow over their face so they would shut the hell up and quit disturbing the neighbors.