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o when he was little.....martial arts..violin....i was all about him being a genius...he was not....he quit violin after the dressing up like elves .....well that just didnt go well....he refused to come out of the bathroom....
baseball...skiing....climbing.....any sport he wanted to do
i was a tough mom....he did chores.....he made his own money....if he wanted 80 buck jeans....i would give him what i would spend on jeans....35 bucks and he had to make the rest....i love my son enough to make sure he has a reality base....simple as that...
still no grandkids.....he is 29...the meter has been ticking for years now
Get cracking and produce, son!
Update at my house...my 13 y.o. "ex" stepson has come to live with us, he was not attending school at home, getting into trouble with his crazy cousins, spent a lot of last year in residential treatment for smoking pot (I think, of course I don't have the whole story I'm sure, just like I didn't get the whole story about his academic issues, sheesh). Dad is an alcoholic. I don't know if Mom is an alcoholic or not, but she definitely is a part of the drinking culture, and works nights, and is married to a guy with 8 children (grown now but they're still around), has two other sons.
The boy of course now has a reputation in his community, can't seem to keep out of trouble with his cousins (who do things like steal vehicles and come pick him up, meet him at the bus stop then boogie to do who knows what all day, generally includes a drug or booze), hates the school there, Mom is not very consistent...if he won't get up for school I'm sure she doesn't drag him out, at least not all the time..anyway, she was worried about him, at her wits end.
So we brought him here. I live in a different town 350 miles away; completely different atmosphere. He's Indian and from the res but there are no reservations here, so he doesn't get stuck in that whole ball of wax where he's most comfortable with his Indian friends and relatives, and where he's identified as a reservation kid at the school and in the community. It's an excuse to behave badly and at the same time an excuse for resentment towards the community, if one has that inclination. It isn't always a bad thing, but it definitely is a hard mold to break because the Indian community is so strong and prevailing in that community....
I've had him for about 10 days or so. It's been hard for him, he hasn't been with us for years, the very area is completely alien to him. He's used to desert and mountains...we're on the coast, moderate rainforest, emphasis on rain. And forest. He's used to lots of native relatives and friends, and lots and lots of freedom and space...none of that here. Just me and his little brother and sister (and he's not used to that either, haha). I don't drink at all, don't socialize much, I'm all about work and kids and school and extracurricular activities, so when I'm not at work I'm right there with the kids, and that has to be difficult for him as well. I'm about as different from his mom as I can be, and I've no doubt I annoy the hell out of him.
I wanted to get him started in school last week, but they had bad storms all week, power outages, program cancellations and stuff, and they lost the paperwork so he didn't start till yesterday. It wasn't a great week for him, because he was left at home while I'd go to work and the kids went to school, thank goodness he doesn't know anyone here is all I can say, because that's just a hot mess waiting to happen.
The day and night before he started school was pretty intense, he was fairly nervous and stressing over whether he was going to go back a grade, and he met a couple of girls so he was really adamant that he go into 8th grade, not 7th (and he doesn't even test that high, but he's still an adolescent so we work with that, lol).
Plus my car was parked because the gas gauge was on E (too many expenditures this month..didn't expect to have an extra child, didn't expect to house/feed the guy who brought him for a few days either) so we were on foot his first day, haha was sort of funny cuz we all walked to school in the rain.
But it all worked out; his mom sent a little money for him that got here yesterday so we were able to put gas in the car (though really walking was good for us all). He allegedly has "insomnia" but I don't think he has true insomnia so much as he tends to want to stay up all night and sleep all day, haha. I told him tonight we'd address that by turning off all the electronic devices at 11 and see how that works.
He loves his new school, and I don't blame him, it's beautiful. It's smaller than his old one which means it's less chaotic..there isn't any gang activity that I can see (also a change), even the office is calmer and more relaxed than the office at his old school. He has issues with crowds and chaos (again, allegedly, not sure if he really does or he just suffers anxiety because he's been left at loose ends too many times) so the calmer, quieter atmosphere agrees with him.
He is talking more, smiling more, and went to school happy this morning. Things look pretty good so far. If he doesn't skip any classes or give me any grief between now and say mid-March, I'm buying him a nice bike. The poor kid didn't have a bike to bring with him, or a back pack, and I'm seriously wondering if he has more than 1 pr of underwear. If he does I sure haven't seen them.
Well we'll address that on payday, lol.
How about a thread on parenting? Just curious what kinds of chores you make your kids do and stuff like that? Seems to be a bit of a battleground!
You have to be very careful who you have kids with these days, alot of women just want the baby for the child support that comes out of your check if you are gainfully employed.
Yeah well I got the short end of that stick. I've got 3 of his kids now, including one that isn't even mine, and he doesn't pay child support for any of them. If my master plan was to make a killing in child support, I really screwed up, hahahaha.