Parenting 101

[koshergrl]

Get cracking and produce, son!

Update at my house...my 13 y.o. "ex" stepson has come to live with us, he was not attending school at home, getting into trouble with his crazy cousins, spent a lot of last year in residential treatment for smoking pot (I think, of course I don't have the whole story I'm sure, just like I didn't get the whole story about his academic issues, sheesh). Dad is an alcoholic. I don't know if Mom is an alcoholic or not, but she definitely is a part of the drinking culture, and works nights, and is married to a guy with 8 children (grown now but they're still around), has two other sons.

The boy of course now has a reputation in his community, can't seem to keep out of trouble with his cousins (who do things like steal vehicles and come pick him up, meet him at the bus stop then boogie to do who knows what all day, generally includes a drug or booze), hates the school there, Mom is not very consistent...if he won't get up for school I'm sure she doesn't drag him out, at least not all the time..anyway, she was worried about him, at her wits end.

So we brought him here. I live in a different town 350 miles away; completely different atmosphere. He's Indian and from the res but there are no reservations here, so he doesn't get stuck in that whole ball of wax where he's most comfortable with his Indian friends and relatives, and where he's identified as a reservation kid at the school and in the community. It's an excuse to behave badly and at the same time an excuse for resentment towards the community, if one has that inclination. It isn't always a bad thing, but it definitely is a hard mold to break because the Indian community is so strong and prevailing in that community....

I've had him for about 10 days or so. It's been hard for him, he hasn't been with us for years, the very area is completely alien to him. He's used to desert and mountains...we're on the coast, moderate rainforest, emphasis on rain. And forest. He's used to lots of native relatives and friends, and lots and lots of freedom and space...none of that here. Just me and his little brother and sister (and he's not used to that either, haha). I don't drink at all, don't socialize much, I'm all about work and kids and school and extracurricular activities, so when I'm not at work I'm right there with the kids, and that has to be difficult for him as well. I'm about as different from his mom as I can be, and I've no doubt I annoy the hell out of him.

I wanted to get him started in school last week, but they had bad storms all week, power outages, program cancellations and stuff, and they lost the paperwork so he didn't start till yesterday. It wasn't a great week for him, because he was left at home while I'd go to work and the kids went to school, thank goodness he doesn't know anyone here is all I can say, because that's just a hot mess waiting to happen.

The day and night before he started school was pretty intense, he was fairly nervous and stressing over whether he was going to go back a grade, and he met a couple of girls so he was really adamant that he go into 8th grade, not 7th (and he doesn't even test that high, but he's still an adolescent so we work with that, lol).

Plus my car was parked because the gas gauge was on E (too many expenditures this month..didn't expect to have an extra child, didn't expect to house/feed the guy who brought him for a few days either) so we were on foot his first day, haha was sort of funny cuz we all walked to school in the rain.

But it all worked out; his mom sent a little money for him that got here yesterday so we were able to put gas in the car (though really walking was good for us all). He allegedly has "insomnia" but I don't think he has true insomnia so much as he tends to want to stay up all night and sleep all day, haha. I told him tonight we'd address that by turning off all the electronic devices at 11 and see how that works.

He loves his new school, and I don't blame him, it's beautiful. It's smaller than his old one which means it's less chaotic..there isn't any gang activity that I can see (also a change), even the office is calmer and more relaxed than the office at his old school. He has issues with crowds and chaos (again, allegedly, not sure if he really does or he just suffers anxiety because he's been left at loose ends too many times) so the calmer, quieter atmosphere agrees with him.

He is talking more, smiling more, and went to school happy this morning. Things look pretty good so far. If he doesn't skip any classes or give me any grief between now and say mid-March, I'm buying him a nice bike. The poor kid didn't have a bike to bring with him, or a back pack, and I'm seriously wondering if he has more than 1 pr of underwear. If he does I sure haven't seen them.

Well we'll address that on payday, lol.

"get cracking and produce"

My mom says that all the time verbatim

Your step nephew sounds a lot like I used to be, I'm sure he will adjust to the environment just fine, however it will be several months if not years.

I had a difficult time myself after my parents moved few towns over when I was 15 years old. I went from the ghetto to an upper middle class community and the transition was difficult for me.

It took a while to assimilate...

If deep down inside the kid is a good person he will be fine....

Some people on the other hand cant be helped because they are just bad via nature... They're lost causes, nothing will ever help them, not love, not nature, not a chance of scenery...

So far I've no complaints about him, I'm realistic and love working with off the wall boys and he came because he wanted to, so at least we aren't dealing with resentment on top of everything else. As long as my younger kids aren't suffering we're good. I honestly think that his problems just come from not having engaged parents who are can be counted on to consistently provide what he needs, including emotional support, when he needs it. I mean, how can a kid go to school and do well if he has no backpack, no binder, and only one pair of shoes and one pair of underwear? Of course he'll ditch. It's better to just skip than to show up and sit there in inadequate clothes with none of the tools you need to participate.

And I don't want to imply that his mother doesn't love him and care about him, she really does. She's just tends to identify a little too much with the kids themselves, and lets them sort of dictate what's going on. Well they're 13-14 years old, they aren't the best people to be running the household.

There's a certain amount of parenting boys that is pure hard drudgery...the physical effort of getting up yourself (even if you worked the night before) and talking to them (even if they're surly) and cooking for them (even if they don't want it) washing their clothes (even if they don't like the clothes) finding their backpacks, getting them to school, talking to their teachers (and when it's convenient to the teacher, not you) going to the programs, running stuff the forget to the school, picking them up, and on and on. I don't think he's ever had that, at least not regularly. It's sort of catch as catch can. They don't suddenly wake up when they're 12 able to run their own lives, and if they are left to do it, they'll make a mess of them. At 13 and older, they're still like little tiny kids, only with a lot more power behind them. When boys are this age is when their moms change from lovely young mothers to hard bitten matrons, and it happens overnight almost, if you're doing things right.

I went through it once so I'm actually sort of looking forward to this challenge. I'm smarter and tougher and a lot wiser than I was the first time around so I reeeaaalllly hope he sticks it out with us. I want to see if we can keep him on track and keep him moving up! I'm particularly interested in seeing what happens with his academics...if he can pull his test scores up. SUPER curious.

At this point, my biggest fear is that he'll hit a bump, want to go home, and while he's there, get into a load of trouble that will prevent him from coming back to continue. I'm buying time for him at this point, trying to keep him really engaged, interested, staving off the inevitable homesickness as long as possible. I really don't want him going back, even for a short visit. I hope his mom will help me and we can keep him away from there for a good long chunk.

 

[derk]

My kids are 8, 9 and almost 14.

I think it's time for a chore list, they're wearing me out...my daughter is good about doing her bit, the older boy seems to be game...it's my youngest who is driving me BONKERS. Resistant to everything, and we're reaching critical mass.

Be different. Sometimes we have to kinda bend as parents. With my son I could be strict and detailed. He needed steps to follow he was always ordered and structured, he likes being told what to do.
My daughter hates it she wants to do it herself. If she has a problem sometimes she will ask for advice but won't say its for her, she'll say just tell me and never mind who its for. lol
Sounds like you might need to tell the child what to do and let them decide when and how to do it. Results are what matter how we achieve them are'nt as important.

 

[koshergrl]

I have another kid just like him...so that resistant tendency must come directly from me, as they had different dads, lol...probably serves me right.

 

[High_Gravity]

You have to be very careful who you have kids with these days, alot of women just want the baby for the child support that comes out of your check if you are gainfully employed.

That's why I don't have kids... Well that and it's difficult to find a woman that shares the same morals as I do...

Woman my age are lunatics...

They want something other than a traditional relationship that consists of love and trust..

How old are you?

 

[High_Gravity]

Yeah well I got the short end of that stick. I've got 3 of his kids now, including one that isn't even mine, and he doesn't pay child support for any of them. If my master plan was to make a killing in child support, I really screwed up, hahahaha.

Have you been to the courts to file for it? they take that right out of his check if he's working, and even if he's not the amount keeps adding up and he can lose his license after a while.

 

[Mr.Nick]

You have to be very careful who you have kids with these days, alot of women just want the baby for the child support that comes out of your check if you are gainfully employed.

That's why I don't have kids... Well that and it's difficult to find a woman that shares the same morals as I do...

Woman my age are lunatics...

They want something other than a traditional relationship that consists of love and trust..

How old are you?

31...

Yeah, I should have been more proactive around 21 instead of playing poky-poky or "big pimping."

Then again no nice chick would have touched me with a yard stick back then...

Funny how things workout..

 

[koshergrl]

oh yeah, I have an order for child support. As long as he had a regular job, or unemployment, I got a little because it's garnished. But he's working under the table or just off their radar. So long as he leaves us alone I'm okay, I love the kids. My kids have absolutely nothing to do with him and neither does his oldest; the 13 year old I have was with him pretty exclusively for a while and that's one of his biggest problems. I really don't want to spend any time in court with dad for the miniscule amount of money we could squeeze out of him. I know what his issues are, and believe me, he isn't rolling in dough. So long as he stays far away from us, I'll stay off his back. The state does a better job of making his life a living hell than I ever could, and they're after him right now for that child support because I received medical from them for a while, and they're all about getting reimbursed...

 

[koshergrl]

Actually, I lied. I could make his life pretty horrendous, and it isn't great right now. I destroyed him pretty effectively the first time around (and it wasn't for petty reasons, he isn't reasonable, there's no other way to deal with him, and he's dangerous besides) but I got what I wanted, which was total disengagement from him and no interference with the children, so we have an uneasy (on his part) truce right now. He leaves us alone, I leave him alone, and that has worked for 7 years. I support the kids but I'm able to. We're poor, but I'd rather be poor without any interaction with him than poor with interaction.

 

[Mr.Nick]

Get cracking and produce, son!

Update at my house...my 13 y.o. "ex" stepson has come to live with us, he was not attending school at home, getting into trouble with his crazy cousins, spent a lot of last year in residential treatment for smoking pot (I think, of course I don't have the whole story I'm sure, just like I didn't get the whole story about his academic issues, sheesh). Dad is an alcoholic. I don't know if Mom is an alcoholic or not, but she definitely is a part of the drinking culture, and works nights, and is married to a guy with 8 children (grown now but they're still around), has two other sons.

The boy of course now has a reputation in his community, can't seem to keep out of trouble with his cousins (who do things like steal vehicles and come pick him up, meet him at the bus stop then boogie to do who knows what all day, generally includes a drug or booze), hates the school there, Mom is not very consistent...if he won't get up for school I'm sure she doesn't drag him out, at least not all the time..anyway, she was worried about him, at her wits end.

So we brought him here. I live in a different town 350 miles away; completely different atmosphere. He's Indian and from the res but there are no reservations here, so he doesn't get stuck in that whole ball of wax where he's most comfortable with his Indian friends and relatives, and where he's identified as a reservation kid at the school and in the community. It's an excuse to behave badly and at the same time an excuse for resentment towards the community, if one has that inclination. It isn't always a bad thing, but it definitely is a hard mold to break because the Indian community is so strong and prevailing in that community....

I've had him for about 10 days or so. It's been hard for him, he hasn't been with us for years, the very area is completely alien to him. He's used to desert and mountains...we're on the coast, moderate rainforest, emphasis on rain. And forest. He's used to lots of native relatives and friends, and lots and lots of freedom and space...none of that here. Just me and his little brother and sister (and he's not used to that either, haha). I don't drink at all, don't socialize much, I'm all about work and kids and school and extracurricular activities, so when I'm not at work I'm right there with the kids, and that has to be difficult for him as well. I'm about as different from his mom as I can be, and I've no doubt I annoy the hell out of him.

I wanted to get him started in school last week, but they had bad storms all week, power outages, program cancellations and stuff, and they lost the paperwork so he didn't start till yesterday. It wasn't a great week for him, because he was left at home while I'd go to work and the kids went to school, thank goodness he doesn't know anyone here is all I can say, because that's just a hot mess waiting to happen.

The day and night before he started school was pretty intense, he was fairly nervous and stressing over whether he was going to go back a grade, and he met a couple of girls so he was really adamant that he go into 8th grade, not 7th (and he doesn't even test that high, but he's still an adolescent so we work with that, lol).

Plus my car was parked because the gas gauge was on E (too many expenditures this month..didn't expect to have an extra child, didn't expect to house/feed the guy who brought him for a few days either) so we were on foot his first day, haha was sort of funny cuz we all walked to school in the rain.

But it all worked out; his mom sent a little money for him that got here yesterday so we were able to put gas in the car (though really walking was good for us all). He allegedly has "insomnia" but I don't think he has true insomnia so much as he tends to want to stay up all night and sleep all day, haha. I told him tonight we'd address that by turning off all the electronic devices at 11 and see how that works.

He loves his new school, and I don't blame him, it's beautiful. It's smaller than his old one which means it's less chaotic..there isn't any gang activity that I can see (also a change), even the office is calmer and more relaxed than the office at his old school. He has issues with crowds and chaos (again, allegedly, not sure if he really does or he just suffers anxiety because he's been left at loose ends too many times) so the calmer, quieter atmosphere agrees with him.

He is talking more, smiling more, and went to school happy this morning. Things look pretty good so far. If he doesn't skip any classes or give me any grief between now and say mid-March, I'm buying him a nice bike. The poor kid didn't have a bike to bring with him, or a back pack, and I'm seriously wondering if he has more than 1 pr of underwear. If he does I sure haven't seen them.

Well we'll address that on payday, lol.

"get cracking and produce"

My mom says that all the time verbatim

Your step nephew sounds a lot like I used to be, I'm sure he will adjust to the environment just fine, however it will be several months if not years.

I had a difficult time myself after my parents moved few towns over when I was 15 years old. I went from the ghetto to an upper middle class community and the transition was difficult for me.

It took a while to assimilate...

If deep down inside the kid is a good person he will be fine....

Some people on the other hand cant be helped because they are just bad via nature... They're lost causes, nothing will ever help them, not love, not nature, not a chance of scenery...

So far I've no complaints about him, I'm realistic and love working with off the wall boys and he came because he wanted to, so at least we aren't dealing with resentment on top of everything else. As long as my younger kids aren't suffering we're good. I honestly think that his problems just come from not having engaged parents who are can be counted on to consistently provide what he needs, including emotional support, when he needs it. I mean, how can a kid go to school and do well if he has no backpack, no binder, and only one pair of shoes and one pair of underwear? Of course he'll ditch. It's better to just skip than to show up and sit there in inadequate clothes with none of the tools you need to participate.

And I don't want to imply that his mother doesn't love him and care about him, she really does. She's just tends to identify a little too much with the kids themselves, and lets them sort of dictate what's going on. Well they're 13-14 years old, they aren't the best people to be running the household.

There's a certain amount of parenting boys that is pure hard drudgery...the physical effort of getting up yourself (even if you worked the night before) and talking to them (even if they're surly) and cooking for them (even if they don't want it) washing their clothes (even if they don't like the clothes) finding their backpacks, getting them to school, talking to their teachers (and when it's convenient to the teacher, not you) going to the programs, running stuff the forget to the school, picking them up, and on and on. I don't think he's ever had that, at least not regularly. It's sort of catch as catch can. They don't suddenly wake up when they're 12 able to run their own lives, and if they are left to do it, they'll make a mess of them. At 13 and older, they're still like little tiny kids, only with a lot more power behind them. When boys are this age is when their moms change from lovely young mothers to hard bitten matrons, and it happens overnight almost, if you're doing things right.

I went through it once so I'm actually sort of looking forward to this challenge. I'm smarter and tougher and a lot wiser than I was the first time around so I reeeaaalllly hope he sticks it out with us. I want to see if we can keep him on track and keep him moving up! I'm particularly interested in seeing what happens with his academics...if he can pull his test scores up. SUPER curious.

At this point, my biggest fear is that he'll hit a bump, want to go home, and while he's there, get into a load of trouble that will prevent him from coming back to continue. I'm buying time for him at this point, trying to keep him really engaged, interested, staving off the inevitable homesickness as long as possible. I really don't want him going back, even for a short visit. I hope his mom will help me and we can keep him away from there for a good long chunk.

Well, my parents always provided for me, so I wouldn't know what it would be like to be neglected......

I do know what it is like growing up hand to mouth tho - my parents just sacrificed everything to make sure we had the basics...

I know what its like to be the poor kid and the out of place kid.....

Now allegedly I'm the "evil rich republican who grew up with a silver spoon"

Maybe my baby brother but not me............

I used to pay my school lunch bill with pennies........

 

[koshergrl]

Don't feel bad, I'm a "far right extremist fundamentalist". I've had people tell me I have no idea what it's like to be poor, to deal with dysfunction, etc and so forth. I'm continually told I can't be pro-life unless I adopt children and take a stance against war and the death penalty. And lest we forget, all Republicans want all poor people to die, remember.

If people only knew, lolololol...

 

[Mr.Nick]

oh yeah, I have an order for child support. As long as he had a regular job, or unemployment, I got a little because it's garnished. But he's working under the table or just off their radar. So long as he leaves us alone I'm okay, I love the kids. My kids have absolutely nothing to do with him and neither does his oldest; the 13 year old I have was with him pretty exclusively for a while and that's one of his biggest problems. I really don't want to spend any time in court with dad for the miniscule amount of money we could squeeze out of him. I know what his issues are, and believe me, he isn't rolling in dough. So long as he stays far away from us, I'll stay off his back. The state does a better job of making his life a living hell than I ever could, and they're after him right now for that child support because I received medical from them for a while, and they're all about getting reimbursed...

It pisses me off when a man doesn't support his children - especially when they want no part of their lives..

Just disgusting........

How can one not love their child or want to be part of their lives??

I feel bad for anyone who had that happen to them, thankfully both of my parents aren't like that...

 

[koshergrl]

I think he loves them in his way.

But he's poisonous, drunk, and dangerous. I think it's an indication that he loves them that he stays the hell away. He's doing us a favor, and it is because I dictated that was the way it was going to be, not because he flaked out. If I wanted him around I'd probably never get away from him.

 

[Mr.Nick]

Don't feel bad, I'm a "far right extremist fundamentalist". I've had people tell me I have no idea what it's like to be poor, to deal with dysfunction, etc and so forth. I'm continually told I can't be pro-life unless I adopt children and take a stance against war and the death penalty. And lest we forget, all Republicans want all poor people to die, remember.

If people only knew, lolololol...

You forgot racist too

I'm not a modern republican but I am a conservative libertarian or conservative classical liberal.....

Me and my entire immediate family..

I agree totally thus far with everything you post, republican or whatever.

I've been given the riot act.....

I just laugh. It gets old and funny after a while because the same shit is spewed by different people, then you know all progressives are the same...

 

[High_Gravity]

That's why I don't have kids... Well that and it's difficult to find a woman that shares the same morals as I do...

Woman my age are lunatics...

They want something other than a traditional relationship that consists of love and trust..

How old are you?

31...

Yeah, I should have been more proactive around 21 instead of playing poky-poky or "big pimping."

Then again no nice chick would have touched me with a yard stick back then...

Funny how things workout..

I think you did the right thing though, when you are in your 20's it's the right time to try and enjoy as many women as possible when you are in your prime, plus if you did get married when you were younger chances are she would have changed up on you, women change alot from the age 20 to their mid 20's, even 30's sometimes. I got married when I was 19 and thought I was set for life, 5 years later we just became totally different people, I kind of regret getting married because I should have spent my early 20's partying and having fun with as many women as possible, I am 30 now and I should have waited until around this age for the marriage, kids etc. now I don't want to ever get married again, divorce is hell and living with someone you don't love or trust is pure misery, I don't want that ever again. I was in the Military when I was going through my divorce and I actually asked to deploy to Iraq to get away from her, and this was back in 2006 when people were getting killed in Iraq everyday!

 

[High_Gravity]

oh yeah, I have an order for child support. As long as he had a regular job, or unemployment, I got a little because it's garnished. But he's working under the table or just off their radar. So long as he leaves us alone I'm okay, I love the kids. My kids have absolutely nothing to do with him and neither does his oldest; the 13 year old I have was with him pretty exclusively for a while and that's one of his biggest problems. I really don't want to spend any time in court with dad for the miniscule amount of money we could squeeze out of him. I know what his issues are, and believe me, he isn't rolling in dough. So long as he stays far away from us, I'll stay off his back. The state does a better job of making his life a living hell than I ever could, and they're after him right now for that child support because I received medical from them for a while, and they're all about getting reimbursed...

It pisses me off when a man doesn't support his children - especially when they want no part of their lives..

Just disgusting........

How can one not love their child or want to be part of their lives??

I feel bad for anyone who had that happen to them, thankfully both of my parents aren't like that...

I don't understand it either but people are just wired differently, my brother has 2 children and is a drug addict, career criminal and is always in and out of prison. Right now now he is in a rehab in Salt Lake City Utah that my dad is paying for, my dad also sends child support to his kids because my brother doesn't support them and really doesn't care, he was interested for a little bit when the first kid was born but quickly grew bored and went back to doing drugs and dealing them as well, one of the kids almost choked to death on a Vicodin he left out and had to go to the ER. He really doesn't care, and it's wierd because we had both parents and we were raised better than this. Sometimes people are just bad and its not the fault of the parents.

 

[Mr.Nick]

I think he loves them in his way.

But he's poisonous, drunk, and dangerous. I think it's an indication that he loves them that he stays the hell away. He's doing us a favor, and it is because I dictated that was the way it was going to be, not because he flaked out. If I wanted him around I'd probably never get away from him.

Love is being a father to your children..

It's putting down the booze and being selfless and doing anything and everything possible for your child.

If I had a kid my life would be dedicated to the child - it wouldn't be about ME anymore it would be about the child.

I suppose some just aren't born with that sense of instinct....

 

[007]

Kids... hell my one and only kid is grown, gone and married, and now I'm working on a year and half old grandson. Thankfully my parenting duties are over.

 

[Mr.Nick]

oh yeah, I have an order for child support. As long as he had a regular job, or unemployment, I got a little because it's garnished. But he's working under the table or just off their radar. So long as he leaves us alone I'm okay, I love the kids. My kids have absolutely nothing to do with him and neither does his oldest; the 13 year old I have was with him pretty exclusively for a while and that's one of his biggest problems. I really don't want to spend any time in court with dad for the miniscule amount of money we could squeeze out of him. I know what his issues are, and believe me, he isn't rolling in dough. So long as he stays far away from us, I'll stay off his back. The state does a better job of making his life a living hell than I ever could, and they're after him right now for that child support because I received medical from them for a while, and they're all about getting reimbursed...

It pisses me off when a man doesn't support his children - especially when they want no part of their lives..

Just disgusting........

How can one not love their child or want to be part of their lives??

I feel bad for anyone who had that happen to them, thankfully both of my parents aren't like that...

I don't understand it either but people are just wired differently, my brother has 2 children and is a drug addict, career criminal and is always in and out of prison. Right now now he is in a rehab in Salt Lake City Utah that my dad is paying for, my dad also sends child support to his kids because my brother doesn't support them and really doesn't care, he was interested for a little bit when the first kid was born but quickly grew bored and went back to doing drugs and dealing them as well, one of the kids almost choked to death on a Vicodin he left out and had to go to the ER. He really doesn't care, and it's wierd because we had both parents and we were raised better than this. Sometimes people are just bad and its not the fault of the parents.

It's almost like some don't even have an emotional attachment to their own children.

As if they lack some sort of instinct...

My sister has kids, there is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for them...

I treat them as if they were my own...

At one point I was like your bro tho, however I cleaned my act up.... However I would never neglect my child - even if I did have a substance problem.

 

[High_Gravity]

It pisses me off when a man doesn't support his children - especially when they want no part of their lives..

Just disgusting........

How can one not love their child or want to be part of their lives??

I feel bad for anyone who had that happen to them, thankfully both of my parents aren't like that...

I don't understand it either but people are just wired differently, my brother has 2 children and is a drug addict, career criminal and is always in and out of prison. Right now now he is in a rehab in Salt Lake City Utah that my dad is paying for, my dad also sends child support to his kids because my brother doesn't support them and really doesn't care, he was interested for a little bit when the first kid was born but quickly grew bored and went back to doing drugs and dealing them as well, one of the kids almost choked to death on a Vicodin he left out and had to go to the ER. He really doesn't care, and it's wierd because we had both parents and we were raised better than this. Sometimes people are just bad and its not the fault of the parents.

It's almost like some don't even have an emotional attachment to their own children.

As if they lack some sort of instinct...

My sister has kids, there is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for them...

I treat them as if they were my own...

At one point I was like your bro tho, however I cleaned my act up.... However I would never neglect my child - even if I did have a substance problem.

My brother is 27 years old, 3 years younger than me, he is never going to change or claim any responsibility for these kids, him and his girlfriend were both on drugs when she was pregnant with the second child so now it has all kinds of problems and seizures and is always in the hospital, and of course my scumbag brother doesnt care and doesn't even go down there. Its scary to think how these kids are going to turn out, some folks really don't have any business reproducing.

 

[Mr.Nick]

How old are you?

31...

Yeah, I should have been more proactive around 21 instead of playing poky-poky or "big pimping."

Then again no nice chick would have touched me with a yard stick back then...

Funny how things workout..

I think you did the right thing though, when you are in your 20's it's the right time to try and enjoy as many women as possible when you are in your prime, plus if you did get married when you were younger chances are she would have changed up on you, women change alot from the age 20 to their mid 20's, even 30's sometimes. I got married when I was 19 and thought I was set for life, 5 years later we just became totally different people, I kind of regret getting married because I should have spent my early 20's partying and having fun with as many women as possible, I am 30 now and I should have waited until around this age for the marriage, kids etc. now I don't want to ever get married again, divorce is hell and living with someone you don't love or trust is pure misery, I don't want that ever again. I was in the Military when I was going through my divorce and I actually asked to deploy to Iraq to get away from her, and this was back in 2006 when people were getting killed in Iraq everyday!

I wanted to serve in the military in my early 20's...

They wouldn't let me because I had cases pending, then when they were over I tried again and they wouldn't give me the waiver needed...

I had my fun in my teens and twenties, now at 31 I want a family...

In my lifetime I have been with many woman just loved a few of them ironically the ones I did love/who loved me I only been with them a few times.....Of course I was horndogging it all over the place....