Online dating terms explained

KarlMarx

Senior Member
May 9, 2004
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Independent – unflinchingly self-centered and inconsiderate

Free-Spirited – about as fruity as a granola bar or can’t hold down a regular job

Open Minded – I’ve broken every taboo known to man

Traditional Values – I expect you to pick up after me, fetch my beer and be ready for sex at the drop of a hat

Opinionated – I’m a tiresome loudmouth

Spontaneous – I’m a big flake and I can’t be relied upon for much

Quick witted – I don’t have anything good to say about anything or anyone!

Self-employed – I’m out of work and I’m looking for someone to support me

Looking for someone special – looking for someone to take complete advantage of!

Not into games – I’m brusque and uncouth, my idea of open communication is telling you what a complete moron I think you are!

Spend Quality Time – especially with your wallet!

Likes to laugh – I’m stoned most of the time

No political views – My political beliefs are Left of Chairman Mao’s

Spiritual/Not Religious – I’m either a closet atheist or I worship the Devil

Full Figured – I’m a Weight Watcher’s drop out!

Athletic – I expect you to run a marathon before I’ll let you sleep with me

Adventurous – I’ve been arrested several times

Likes to relax – I’m a couch potato!

Likes to flirt – I’m more promiscuous than a rabbit in heat

Outgoing – I have a tendency to embarrass people in public

Deep thinker – I’m a self absorbed insufferable bore

Want to go slow at first – if you pass a polygraph, submit a blood test, sign a pre-nuptial agreement and supply 10 character references, THEN we’ll make out!!!!

Want to be friends first – I’m looking for a drinking buddy

Searching for my true love – because the last one dumped me!

I want someone to help me with life's disappointments – I’m looking for someone to hit up for some money
 
Good list, but you left out a few:

"Busty" -- I wear a bra

"Well-Endowed" -- I have one

"Reasonably attractive" -- I haven't broken any mirrors (lately)

"Young at heart" -- Don't mind the cane, it's an old football injury acting up

"Athletic" -- I played basketball in junior high

"Outgoing" -- I like to go out

"Ambitious" -- How much money do you have?

"A bit heavy" -- The airlines make me buy two seats

"Easy going" -- Buy me dinner and a few drinks. It gets easier from there.

"Passionate" -- I'll need to see a copy of your EKG first
 

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