The Genie

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Bonnie, Jul 12, 2005.

  1. Bonnie
    Offline

    Bonnie Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2004
    Messages:
    9,476
    Thanks Received:
    668
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Wherever
    Ratings:
    +669
    A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a bottle.She picked it up and rubbed it, and 'low-and-behold' a genie appeared! The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, "Nope, sorry,three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So...what'll it be?"

    The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the MiddleEast. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony." The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but I'm not THAT good!
    I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable."



    The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for ........a good man."

    The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see that fuckin' map again".
     
  2. Shattered
    Online

    Shattered Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    :teeth:
     
  3. Hobbit
    Offline

    Hobbit Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2004
    Messages:
    5,099
    Thanks Received:
    420
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Near Atlanta, GA
    Ratings:
    +421
    I've got a counter to that.

    God once appeared to a very devout man in California, telling him that because of his faith, he would be granted a single wish. The man said, "I wish there was a bridge to Hawaii. I have relatives out there and can't afford to fly as often as I want." God said to the man, "That's a little strange, and I don't like the repurcussions of erecting such a structure halfway across the Pacific. Is there anything else you wanted." "Sure," said the man, "I'd like to know how women think. I want to know why they do those crazy things, like assume you can read minds, refuse to tell you what you did wrong, and face waxing their bodies head on but still be afraid of a spider. It's a perplexing problem I've always wanted to know the answer to." God replied, "One lane or two."
     
  4. Mr. P
    Offline

    Mr. P Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    11,329
    Thanks Received:
    618
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    South of the Mason Dixon
    Ratings:
    +618
    It's me, it's me, it's Mr. P!!!!!:thup:
     
  5. Joan
    Offline

    Joan Mommy Dearest

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2003
    Messages:
    400
    Thanks Received:
    39
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Ratings:
    +39
    And yet another genie story

    A black man is on the beach, stumbles on the bottle and out pops a genie. She tells him he has three wishes - his response: I want to be all white, uptight and out of sight. The genie says "granted" and he is turned into a tampon.
     
  6. Shattered
    Online

    Shattered Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    Maybe I could sell you.. Could probably get more money if you came with a better set of cookware, to.. ;)
     
  7. Mr. P
    Offline

    Mr. P Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    11,329
    Thanks Received:
    618
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    South of the Mason Dixon
    Ratings:
    +618
    You PIMP! :laugh:
     
  8. Shattered
    Online

    Shattered Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    :dunno: Where's the "bad" in that? <i>**looks confused**</i>
     
  9. Bonnie
    Offline

    Bonnie Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2004
    Messages:
    9,476
    Thanks Received:
    668
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Wherever
    Ratings:
    +669
    Yeah well we'll see come Friday night :poke: :laugh:
     
  10. Shattered
    Online

    Shattered Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
     

Share This Page