The Genie

[Bonnie]

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a bottle.She picked it up and rubbed it, and 'low-and-behold' a genie appeared! The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, "Nope, sorry,three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So...what'll it be?"

The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the MiddleEast. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony." The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but I'm not THAT good!
I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable."



The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for ........a good man."

The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see that fuckin' map again".

 

[Shattered]

:teeth:

 

[Hobbit]

I've got a counter to that.

God once appeared to a very devout man in California, telling him that because of his faith, he would be granted a single wish. The man said, "I wish there was a bridge to Hawaii. I have relatives out there and can't afford to fly as often as I want." God said to the man, "That's a little strange, and I don't like the repurcussions of erecting such a structure halfway across the Pacific. Is there anything else you wanted." "Sure," said the man, "I'd like to know how women think. I want to know why they do those crazy things, like assume you can read minds, refuse to tell you what you did wrong, and face waxing their bodies head on but still be afraid of a spider. It's a perplexing problem I've always wanted to know the answer to." God replied, "One lane or two."

 

[Mr. P]

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a bottle.She picked it up and rubbed it, and 'low-and-behold' a genie appeared! The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, "Nope, sorry,three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So...what'll it be?"

The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the MiddleEast. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony." The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but I'm not THAT good!
I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable."



The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for ........a good man."

The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see that fuckin' map again".

It's me, it's me, it's Mr. P!!!!!

 

[Joan]

And yet another genie story

A black man is on the beach, stumbles on the bottle and out pops a genie. She tells him he has three wishes - his response: I want to be all white, uptight and out of sight. The genie says "granted" and he is turned into a tampon.

 

[Shattered]

It's me, it's me, it's Mr. P!!!!!

Maybe I could sell you.. Could probably get more money if you came with a better set of cookware, to..

 

[Mr. P]

Maybe I could sell you.. Could probably get more money if you came with a better set of cookware, to..

You PIMP!

 

[Shattered]

You PIMP!

Where's the "bad" in that? <i>**looks confused**</i>

 

[Bonnie]

It's me, it's me, it's Mr. P!!!!!

Yeah well we'll see come Friday night

 

[Shattered]

Yeah well we'll see come Friday night [/QUOTE

What's Friday?

 

[Bonnie]

Yeah well we'll see come Friday night [/QUOTE

What's Friday?

Ha ha Ill let you know Saturday

 

[Mr. P]

Yeah well we'll see come Friday night

I can't wait...!!! :halo:

 

[Shattered]

Oh, nevermind.. I know.. Took less than 30 seconds of reading to figure it out..

(And who is he, Chickadee? Hmm?)

 

[Bonnie]

Oh, nevermind.. I know.. Took less than 30 seconds of reading to figure it out..

(And who is he, Chickadee? Hmm?)

Well he's cute, nice, a bit younger than me but very mature. We'll see??

 

[Shattered]

Well he's cute, nice, a bit younger than me but very mature. We'll see??

A full report will be expected, you know..

 

[Bonnie]

A full report will be expected, you know..

okay!

 

[Avatar4321]

A rather geeky guy was at the beach and found a bottle with a genie. the Genie said he could have 3 wishes.

First he wished for money and a nice car.

Second, he wished to be loved by beautiful women.

After that he decided to save the last wish for a bit. So he got in his car with his women turned on the radio and began cruising down the street. Along the way he began singing with with one of the comercials...

"Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner...