Online dating terms explained

Discussion in 'Humor' started by KarlMarx, Jul 11, 2005.

  1. KarlMarx

    KarlMarx Senior Member

    May 9, 2004
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    Independent – unflinchingly self-centered and inconsiderate

    Free-Spirited – about as fruity as a granola bar or can’t hold down a regular job

    Open Minded – I’ve broken every taboo known to man

    Traditional Values – I expect you to pick up after me, fetch my beer and be ready for sex at the drop of a hat

    Opinionated – I’m a tiresome loudmouth

    Spontaneous – I’m a big flake and I can’t be relied upon for much

    Quick witted – I don’t have anything good to say about anything or anyone!

    Self-employed – I’m out of work and I’m looking for someone to support me

    Looking for someone special – looking for someone to take complete advantage of!

    Not into games – I’m brusque and uncouth, my idea of open communication is telling you what a complete moron I think you are!

    Spend Quality Time – especially with your wallet!

    Likes to laugh – I’m stoned most of the time

    No political views – My political beliefs are Left of Chairman Mao’s

    Spiritual/Not Religious – I’m either a closet atheist or I worship the Devil

    Full Figured – I’m a Weight Watcher’s drop out!

    Athletic – I expect you to run a marathon before I’ll let you sleep with me

    Adventurous – I’ve been arrested several times

    Likes to relax – I’m a couch potato!

    Likes to flirt – I’m more promiscuous than a rabbit in heat

    Outgoing – I have a tendency to embarrass people in public

    Deep thinker – I’m a self absorbed insufferable bore

    Want to go slow at first – if you pass a polygraph, submit a blood test, sign a pre-nuptial agreement and supply 10 character references, THEN we’ll make out!!!!

    Want to be friends first – I’m looking for a drinking buddy

    Searching for my true love – because the last one dumped me!

    I want someone to help me with life's disappointments – I’m looking for someone to hit up for some money
  2. Bonnie

    Bonnie Senior Member

    Jun 30, 2004
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    Boy some of those are spot on!! :laugh:
  3. Gabriella84

    Gabriella84 Guest

    Good list, but you left out a few:

    "Busty" -- I wear a bra

    "Well-Endowed" -- I have one

    "Reasonably attractive" -- I haven't broken any mirrors (lately)

    "Young at heart" -- Don't mind the cane, it's an old football injury acting up

    "Athletic" -- I played basketball in junior high

    "Outgoing" -- I like to go out

    "Ambitious" -- How much money do you have?

    "A bit heavy" -- The airlines make me buy two seats

    "Easy going" -- Buy me dinner and a few drinks. It gets easier from there.

    "Passionate" -- I'll need to see a copy of your EKG first

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dating terms explained