New and looking to talk about race relations

[Pop23]

Welcome.

Enjoy our disfunctional family.

 

[JoeMoma]

I really want to avoid transportation by bandwagon. Everyone always tries to get off at the same stop.

And it's really awkward if you don't have an istrument to play

 

[Iceweasel]

Years ago I was abused in a marriage. When I finally left, I was in pain. For a while I spent time in the man-haters club. I thought they all lied. It was a stage. I healed over time and realized not all men were bad. Heck, some were wonderful. But in crisis and in pain, I couldnt receive that message. Fast forward 10 years to a happy, solid marriage. I learned to 1, pick better and accept responsibility for picking my chosen companion and 2. trust.

Black folks in America did have abuse behind them. Sometimes they still do. Maybe some people cannot see or feel anything else right now.

Good analogy. You made a bad decision the first go round, blamed an entire gender for it and now reluctantly admit there are a few decent ones. You're a sexist, and very muck like a racist.

People can come to this country without speaking the language and do well but we are supposed to believe someone can't make it due to their skin color? Nonsense. I am white but not responsible for anything bad or good any white people did. I'm a guy and not responsible for anything bad or good any guys did. I'm responsible for myself and when people adopt that attitude they will do much better.

 

[LABlk]

What we have here is a failure to communicate It IS hard to hear people tell you that you are the reason that they can't get ahead, when you never personally met them.

LAB, I could not agree with you more... It is really tough for some people to hear with their mouth open...

Years ago I was abused in a marriage. When I finally left, I was in pain. For a while I spent time in the man-haters club. I thought they all lied. It was a stage. I healed over time and realized not all men were bad.

Understandable. I call it the "hot stove reaction". If you get burnt putting wood in the stove, it can possibly take some time till you do it again. Healing comes when you get cold... I am happy for you that you found happiness...

Black folks in America did have abuse behind them. Sometimes they still do. Maybe some people cannot see or feel anything else right now.

As far as I am concerned and in my observations over my lifetime some blacks did have very harsh treatment delved out to them. I was fortunate to be raised in a home where an individual was treated by the impression that he or she left behind. I have tried all of my life to live by the rule of "First Impressions".

Sorry I could not respond immediately but yet wanted to welcome you to the board. As for the meme I posted it was meant in jest. I try to greet all new folks with a little humor. Hope you enjoy your stay...

Thank you for the warm welcome. Looks like a fine place to spend some time and learn something new.

 

[LABlk]

Years ago I was abused in a marriage. When I finally left, I was in pain. For a while I spent time in the man-haters club. I thought they all lied. It was a stage. I healed over time and realized not all men were bad. Heck, some were wonderful. But in crisis and in pain, I couldnt receive that message. Fast forward 10 years to a happy, solid marriage. I learned to 1, pick better and accept responsibility for picking my chosen companion and 2. trust.

Black folks in America did have abuse behind them. Sometimes they still do. Maybe some people cannot see or feel anything else right now.

Good analogy. You made a bad decision the first go round, blamed an entire gender for it and now reluctantly admit there are a few decent ones. You're a sexist, and very muck like a racist.

People can come to this country without speaking the language and do well but we are supposed to believe someone can't make it due to their skin color? Nonsense. I am white but not responsible for anything bad or good any white people did. I'm a guy and not responsible for anything bad or good any guys did. I'm responsible for myself and when people adopt that attitude they will do much better.

We are all ultimately responsible for our personal choices, agree there! You know those healing stages after divorce? This may sound far fetched but maybe that can apply to a culture coming out of racism. There are levels of anger, bargaining, grief and other places that need to be worked through. Just thinking outloud here. Even though you or I may not have ever treated someone of a different race any different, we did not have a cultural story of oppression to try to make peace with.

I had a black co-worker (and friend) share her dream would have been to go back in time and experience real racism, so she could understand it better. Funny, we live in a rural, very white area and she has been underwhelmed by the experience of expected racism so far. I hope her experience of non-racism continues.

 

[Iceweasel]

Years ago I was abused in a marriage. When I finally left, I was in pain. For a while I spent time in the man-haters club. I thought they all lied. It was a stage. I healed over time and realized not all men were bad. Heck, some were wonderful. But in crisis and in pain, I couldnt receive that message. Fast forward 10 years to a happy, solid marriage. I learned to 1, pick better and accept responsibility for picking my chosen companion and 2. trust.

Black folks in America did have abuse behind them. Sometimes they still do. Maybe some people cannot see or feel anything else right now.

Good analogy. You made a bad decision the first go round, blamed an entire gender for it and now reluctantly admit there are a few decent ones. You're a sexist, and very muck like a racist.

People can come to this country without speaking the language and do well but we are supposed to believe someone can't make it due to their skin color? Nonsense. I am white but not responsible for anything bad or good any white people did. I'm a guy and not responsible for anything bad or good any guys did. I'm responsible for myself and when people adopt that attitude they will do much better.

We are all ultimately responsible for our personal choices, agree there! You know those healing stages after divorce? This may sound far fetched but maybe that can apply to a culture coming out of racism. There are levels of anger, bargaining, grief and other places that need to be worked through. Just thinking outloud here. Even though you or I may not have ever treated someone of a different race any different, we did not have a cultural story of oppression to try to make peace with.

I had a black co-worker (and friend) share her dream would have been to go back in time and experience real racism, so she could understand it better. Funny, we live in a rural, very white area and she has been underwhelmed by the experience of expected racism so far. I hope her experience of non-racism continues.

Or she could move to Africa and experience unimaginable poverty. She should take advantage of what's available, like we all should, instead of hand wringing about the past.

I'm sure like most people I have had ancestors living less than stellar lives. Slavery and oppression occurred throughout man's history. We have it pretty good if we can sit around and pontificate about how we should experience hardship like that.

 

[Ridgerunner]

I'm sure like most people I have had ancestors living less than stellar lives. Slavery and oppression occurred throughout man's history. We have it pretty good if we can sit around and pontificate about how we should experience hardship like that.

Well said...

 

[saveliberty]

Thanks for the replies. Here is my thought on this whole thing.
What we have here is a failure to communicate It IS hard to hear people tell you that you are the reason that they can't get ahead, when you never personally met them. Blaming "them" for blaming "us" is a circular blame game...not fixing anything. How can we help stop this crap and move on? I'm looking for concrete steps. If black folks don't feel heard, maybe we're not listening very well. Maybe we should listen with an open mind.
Now, I do not feel responsible for anyone but myself and family. My family fought for the north in the civil war. I have history back to the 1600's and we weren't slave holders. I have had family turned down for promotion for being white and have had to pay more for my daughter's education (long story there). I'm not sure how my white skin made me responsible for social ills, but what I can do is listen. No conversations are had by hurling insults.

Forgive this analogy. Back to the divorce illustration. Racism will not heal until the problems are heard and the parts that are still broken are addressed.

Years ago I was abused in a marriage. When I finally left, I was in pain. For a while I spent time in the man-haters club. I thought they all lied. It was a stage. I healed over time and realized not all men were bad. Heck, some were wonderful. But in crisis and in pain, I couldnt receive that message. Fast forward 10 years to a happy, solid marriage. I learned to 1, pick better and accept responsibility for picking my chosen companion and 2. trust.

Black folks in America did have abuse behind them. Sometimes they still do. Maybe some people cannot see or feel anything else right now.

You put in effort to change and got out of victim mode. Did you go out and shoot his attorney?

 

[JoeMoma]

LABlk, who is your favorite NASCAR driver?

 

[LABlk]

NASCAR? hahahahahahahaha nope.

 

[JoeMoma]

NASCAR? hahahahahahahaha nope.

Formula-1, motocross, drag racing, horse racing, greyhounds, 100 meter dash...... which type of race do you wish to discuss relations?

 

[LABlk]

I'll tell you about victim mentality. It robs people of their personal power. When I left the afore mentioned abusive man, I had to take stock and not all of it was pretty. I was homeless with two small kids. I was pretty sorry for myself until I got mad enough to figure I should change it.
Not much income to support the three of us. the ex told me if I asked for child support he would kill me and bury my body in the woods (he was the type to follow through). So I left anyway to a homeless shelter. I worked all day and went to school at night and had my mom move in to help with the kids and I decided that I would NEVER be in a vulnerable position like that again. It wasn't easy but I eventually made it to a safe place.
My kids both have a college degree (daughter is senior bio-chem in college) and I live in a big fancy house. The moment of change came when I owned the situation. No one to save me but me Also, we all write our stories. For a while I felt so unworthy I would pretend a better person was the hero in the next chapter. In time, I became strong like that person. I left the victim back behind me in the shelter.

 

[LABlk]

NASCAR? hahahahahahahaha nope.

Formula-1, motocross, drag racing, horse racing, greyhounds, 100 meter dash...... which type of race do you wish to discuss relations?

Hahaha, I thought you ....oh never mind.

 

[Ridgerunner]

LAB I am positive you are learning about the humor that is injected into the discussion around here. Imagine how dry it would be if we could not laugh at ourselves and each other...

 

[JoeMoma]

NASCAR? hahahahahahahaha nope.

Formula-1, motocross, drag racing, horse racing, greyhounds, 100 meter dash...... which type of race do you wish to discuss relations?

Hahaha, I thought you ....oh never mind.

I am skilled at never minding.

 

[Ridgerunner]

 

[Unkotare]

Talk? No country in the world talks about it more than we do. Of course, most countries have more real racism than we do. However, being more diverse we have more opportunities for assholes of all stripes to cause unnecessary bullshit. Most of all, cynical politicians and amateur douche-bags see the topic as an opportunity to sow discord, vent spineless fear, score meaningless political points, manipulate the feeble-minded and/or addicted, or make trouble for the sake of making trouble.

 

[Manonthestreet]

I am new to the forum. Found the site after watching another social media hate-fest of crappy comments by a divided people. In a nutshell, I think we need to talk and heal this country. Seen so many posts by black people who have given up that there are white people who can listen. Tired of white people not stopping to really listen. Blame rips us apart as a nation. It's like two angry people in the middle of a divorce. The media is throwing gas on everything, everywhere. In the middle of all this crazy finger pointing, how can we heal? I'm listening, I want to help.
I'm a white conservative person. For the record, I dislike Trump and will probably vote libertarian this year.

White people dont listen cause all that comes from other side is blame.......and hate.....got better things to do than waste my time....

 

[Manonthestreet]

oh and gimmmmeee gimmmmeeeee gimmmeeee forgot that

 

[Ridgerunner]

Most of all, cynical politicians and amateur douche-bags see the topic as an opportunity to sow discord, vent spineless fear, score meaningless political points, manipulate the feeble-minded and/or addicted, or make trouble for the sake of making trouble.

And become wealthy in the meantime...