My heart is breaking

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by jimnyc, Feb 22, 2006.

  1. jimnyc
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    jimnyc ...

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    I won't bore you all once again with my marital and financial woes, although a post soon enough might appear on the subject just for the venting. Then again, it may be a novel.

    Lived apart since April of last year and my lease is up on March 31st this year. The building is going condo and I must vacate by then. Things into storage, moving, packing, taping, $$$, lifting... blah, blah, blah. We all know the costs associated with moving I'm sure. Then there are deposits, utilities and the other bills don't wait until you are settled once again. Finding a home/apartment/room/house/box will be hard enough but nearly impossible since I am currently unemployed. Needless to say, this has left me with an enormous amount of stress and leaving me sleepless, anxious & literally sick at times - not to mention depressed. Anyway, this is just to make you understand why I say my brain is the equivalent of Mush lately (remember that from the little Rascals? "Kids, eat your mush" - "Don't drink the milk" - ""Why"? - "It's spoiled"!

    So I pick up my son this evening since I have him every Wednesday night. For the first time I try to explain to him that I need to move but it won't change how often I see him or anything other than where we drive to once I pick him up. Oh boy, then the unexpected tears started. First he cried and cried and cried that he wanted me to move back home. Then he cried that he didn't want to move from "his" apartment. He explained to me that he loves the view, loves where his doggy and kitty are, and even went as far to explain that he loves the refrigerator here! What it boils down to is that this little boy has seen a lot of change throughout his little years. He's loved and then some, there's no shortage of love that he receives, but I'm not so sure he fully understands Daddy and Mommy living apart, the moves, him being dragged around... I can barely handle it, how can I expect a 5 year old boy to do so?

    I'm pretty much at the boiling point already, I really didn't need the extra guilt and sadness added to my already abysmal existence. :(
     
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  2. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    Geesh. I empathize with you Jim. I dunno how i'll be handling that kinda stuff. Sure won't be easy. :(



    Let's start a "Let's send jim $20" Thread. I bet I could get 10 of us to send you $20. I bet a couple would send even more.

    Would that help your finances enough to make a difference, bro?
     
  3. Nienna
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    Nienna Senior Member

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    I'm so sorry, Jim. It's lame, I know... I wish I could say something else.
     
  4. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    I went through something similar this past summer. I know what you're going through, and the some. The good news is, your hair will grow back. At least mine did!
     
  5. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    is there any way I can do that by credit card? i could send more that way.
     
  6. jimnyc
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    jimnyc ...

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    Not necessary but I appreciate the gesture. I'll make do. I've never taken charity before and never will. Till the day I croak I will make it on my own merits or I won't make it. I can still be proud when poor. Maybe I'll hit you up for that offer should their ever come a day that I am UNable to work. Thanks though! :)
     
  7. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    My son has gone through what your son is going through for 8 years. While the circumstances can in no way be identical, I think they may be similar enough for you to have some hope.
    I remember the tears that he and I shared over ever changing circumstances and times of uncertainty. I felt the guilt of subjecting him to things that I would rather not see him go though and always wanted more for him yet in spite of all, he has grown into a young man with strong morals, a soft heart and empathy for all.
    I am confident that you put him first in your life and that's what he will realize as he continues to mature.
    I hope you two can find ways to turn troubling times into a strong bond that NOTHING can penetrate.
    Thanks for sharing---it strengthened me.
     
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  8. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    it isn't charity if you have a young child who doesn't yet understand why this is happening. If you won't take money, how about a big box of Crayolas and a few coloring books for the little guy? Matchbox/hotwheel cars? I'd be happy to get some for him.

    Don't think of it as charity, think of it as someone else wanting to help your little guy smile.
     
  9. Joan
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    Joan Mommy Dearest

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    Jim -
    Sure wish there wasn't as much distance between NY and Jersey - I know you want to see Jordan as much as possible - but worse case scenario, you know you will always have a home with me. I only wish I were still working so that I could help you out financially! But the scummers keep taking more and more out of my pension check!! This too shall pass, and with your brain,I know a job will come your way eventually! Please know that your entire family is behind you, and will help out when needed!
     
  10. rtwngAvngr
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    rtwngAvngr Guest

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    Jimmy, I feel ya man. Just remember, this too shall pass.
     

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