Mars and Venus

[Annie]

Subject: Eight words with two meanings

Received in an email, yes from a teacher friend.

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-_expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest _expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND;


He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?


He said . . ...... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!


He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said ...... . . They already have boyfriends.

She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . . A widow.

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

 

[Joz]

Go! Kathianne! Go! Kathianne! Go! Kathianne! Go!

 

[Annie]

Go! Kathianne! Go! Kathianne! Go! Kathianne! Go!

 

[dilloduck]

Oh goody--another "stick it to the man" thread :teeth:

 

[Annie]

Oh goody--another "stick it to the man" thread :teeth:

:nine: :teeth:

 

[Nienna]

Oh goody--another "stick it to the man" thread :teeth:

Poor, poor men.

 

[Joz]

Poor, poor men.

Yeah, they have it so rough, don't they?

 

[Mr. P]

Subject: Eight words with two meanings

Received in an email, yes from a teacher friend.

I'll be stripped of my "Man" title, but I love it!

 

[Bonnie]

That's cute K.....
Good thing men and women love each other anyway :halo:

 

[Annie]

I'll be stripped of my "Man" title, but I love it!

Probably because you are secure in your self.

 

[fuzzykitten99]

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

I have very few pet peeves with Tim, but this is one of the few. He constantly changes the 10-11 channels that we DO get, until I tell him to pick a f-ing channel and stick with it.

So then he does, but then he continues his death grip on the remote, and accidentally hits one of the other buttons and changes the channel or something. He does the same thing when watching a dvd. The death grip doesn't loosen, and his fidgeting with the remote like flipping it around in his hand or playing with the battery panel (which he broke the other day because he was playing with it-now we have to tape it shut ) will interrupt the movie in some way... What is with guys and having to keep the remote in their hand, even when watching a movie??!!

 

[dilloduck]

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

I have very few pet peeves with Tim, but this is one of the few. He constantly changes the 10-11 channels that we DO get, until I tell him to pick a f-ing channel and stick with it.

So then he does, but then he continues his death grip on the remote, and accidentally hits one of the other buttons and changes the channel or something. He does the same thing when watching a dvd. The death grip doesn't loosen, and his fidgeting with the remote like flipping it around in his hand or playing with the battery panel (which he broke the other day because he was playing with it-now we have to tape it shut ) will interrupt the movie in some way... What is with guys and having to keep the remote in their hand, even when watching a movie??!!

Isn't it obvious? All males are mentally ill ! :cof:

 

[Nienna]

I have very few pet peeves with Tim, but this is one of the few. He constantly changes the 10-11 channels that we DO get, until I tell him to pick a f-ing channel and stick with it.

So then he does, but then he continues his death grip on the remote, and accidentally hits one of the other buttons and changes the channel or something. He does the same thing when watching a dvd. The death grip doesn't loosen, and his fidgeting with the remote like flipping it around in his hand or playing with the battery panel (which he broke the other day because he was playing with it-now we have to tape it shut ) will interrupt the movie in some way... What is with guys and having to keep the remote in their hand, even when watching a movie??!!

My husband is a maniac with the remote, too. I actually have started to feel dizzy before, from all the random images flashing before my eyes.

 

[fuzzykitten99]

My husband is a maniac with the remote, too. I actually have started to feel dizzy before, from all the random images flashing before my eyes.

i hate it when he flips between shows when I am there, but then he also does it when i leave the room for a minute, then come back, and can't understand WTF is going on in the show because th storyline doesn't make sense. I then realize he changed the channel...

 

[Mr. P]

i hate it when he flips between shows when I am there, but then he also does it when i leave the room for a minute, then come back, and can't understand WTF is going on in the show because th storyline doesn't make sense. I then realize he changed the channel...

See, first women just can't keep up. Second, it's a no brainer here, if ya leave the room ya miss stuff...DUH! :teeth:

 

[Nienna]

i hate it when he flips between shows when I am there, but then he also does it when i leave the room for a minute, then come back, and can't understand WTF is going on in the show because th storyline doesn't make sense. I then realize he changed the channel...

When we watch our show, my husband keeps it on the channel during the show. But the instant a commercial comes on, he starts flipping. Inevitably, we miss a little bit of the show when ti comes back on, because we were on another channel.
But, if that's the worst thing I have to deal with, I guess I have a pretty easy life.

 

[fuzzykitten99]

When we watch our show, my husband keeps it on the channel during the show. But the instant a commercial comes on, he starts flipping. Inevitably, we miss a little bit of the show when ti comes back on, because we were on another channel.
But, if that's the worst thing I have to deal with, I guess I have a pretty easy life.

ohh! Tim does that too! I tell him that commercials are there to give you a break and to get your butt up and do something else for 5 minutes, not flip the channel to find something else to watch for that short of time.

Don't get me wrong, I have very few pet peeves (maybe 3-4 total) that irritate me, and these are such small things, that half the time I don't even say anythingtto him. Except the remote thing, and biting his nails.