~Little Jonny Again~

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Dabs, Sep 21, 2011.

  1. Dabs
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    Dabs ~Unpredictable~

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    Little Johnnie's neighbor had a baby.

    Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.


    When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.
    Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

    His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.

    Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.

    When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."

    The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.

    Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"

    "Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

    "That's great", said Little Johnnie," coz he'd be fucked if he needed glasses".
     
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  2. Meister
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    Meister VIP Member Supporting Member

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    hahahahahaha!
     
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  3. percysunshine
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    percysunshine Gold Member

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    One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises their hand. The teacher says, "See it's long neck? What animal has a long neck?"

    Sally holds up her hand and asks "is it a giraffe?"

    "Very good Sally," the teacher replies.

    Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up their hands. "See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?"

    Billy holds up his hand and says, "It's a zebra."

    "Very good Billy," the teacher replies.

    Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized the animal. "See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?" Still no one guesses. "Let me give you another hint, it's something your mother calls your father."

    Little Johnny shouts out, "Is it a horny bastard?"
     
  4. yidnar
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    yidnar Gold Member

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    Little Johny was getting ready for his first day of school when his mother asked him if he was excited ...little Johny replied nnnno nn theyre NN GONNA make nn fun of nn me nn because I nn have a nn hair lip !!his mother reasured him and said no they wont take some candy with you and make friends !! so little Johny stands at the bus stop on the corner of his street and notices he is the only kid there ..and when the bus turned the corner he tried to get the drivers attention by yelling at the top of his lungs NN BUS,NN BUS,NN STOP !! Well the bus just kept right on going and left little Johny !! When he went back home and told his mother what had happened she said well maybe he didn't see you because you were the only kid at the stop ,so tomorrow yell louder ...The next morning Johny is standing alone waiting for the bus and when he sees it he yells as loud ass he can NN BUS, NN BUS, NN STOP!!The bus passes him by again !! This time his mother thinks he is trying to play hookey and says if he does not get on that bus tomorrow morning he is going to get a spanking !! So the next day standing once again alone at the stop little Johnny decides to jump out in front of the bus to get it to stop for him !!Waving his arms jumping up and down in the middle of the road yelling NN STOP,NN STOP !! He has to jump out of the way before the bus that doesn't even slow down runs over him !!A police officer parked a block down the street sees the little boy barely avoiding being hit by the bus turns on the blue lights and goes after the bus !! Once the officer pulls the bus over he pulls the driver out of the bus and yells what the hell is wrong with you ??you tried to run that little boy over !! Don't try to deny it I saw you speed up when he was in the road !!To this the bus driver replied ..NN Hell yeah I NN DID !! NN THE NN LITTLE NN SON OF A NN BITCH HAS NN BEEN NN MAKING NN FUN OF ME NN ALL NN WEEK NN LONG !!
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2011

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