Letting your child(ren) win

Discussion in 'Health and Lifestyle' started by manifold, Jun 8, 2011.

  1. manifold
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    manifold Diamond Member

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    I'm curious about the views and philosophies of other parents when it comes to playing games with their pre-K children, especially regarding letting them win. I think it's important for children to experience both winning and losing, and therefore striking the optimum balance is key.

    I don't have any hard and fast rules, but I've noticed a bit of a pattern myself.

    When it comes to games that involve skill (checkers, mancala, memory, fish, etc), I'm much more likely make sure they win at least more than they lose, but on average probably 4 out of 5 times. When it comes to games that are all, or almost all luck (candyland, chutes & ladders, bingo, etc.), I usually just let the luck fall where it may unless they've lost a couple in a row, in which case I make sure they win the next one.

    Thoughts?
     
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  2. random3434
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    random3434 Senior Member

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    That makes sense mani.

    Kids that 'win' all the time as little children will start school thinking they can win everything, then throw a fit or pout, etc. when they don't.

    Beating them ALL the time in games is not good, because they are little kids after all. But letting them lose sometimes builds 'character' in a way.
     
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  3. Sallow
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    Sallow The Big Bad Wolf. Supporting Member

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    Not much to add.

    Seems about right.
     
  4. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    Partially echoing Echo, ;) I think that at first, as the are learning the rules and strategies of challenging games, your approach is correct. However, pay attention and as certain strategies are being learned, they need challenges to move onto the next level-so a bit more roadblocks to winning should be employed.

    While I really like and encourage the use of board games, one of the recommendations to computerized versions are the levels, so that one can keep moving up! It's important to know when the child has hit a level where one can play 'to win' with them. There's a fine line between being encouraging and leading to a bad winner and loser.
     
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  5. California Girl
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    California Girl BANNED

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    I agree with EZ.

    Teaching children to accept both victory and defeat with equal grace is a good lesson.
     
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  6. Anachronism
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    Anachronism BANNED

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    Very true EZ; but there is another side to that as well. I'm a PRIME example of what can happen if/when you have a child who never gets to win. For a number of reasons, I went through most of my childhood being the kid who never won at anything. I won't bore people with the details, since they're largely immaterial to the point. It wasn't until High School that I really got to experience "winning" in any real competitive endeavour.

    That is a large part of how & why I grew up to be the sort of person who would rather not be involved in something than to not succeed at it. The type of person who absolutely HATES to lose, and is a very poor sport most of the time.

    I think there's a delicate balance that needs to be achieved.... teaching the kids that they don't always win, but also making sure they get a chance to experience success as well. What I'm totally against is the idea or taking all the competition/scoring/etc... out of kids sports and the like.
     
  7. Truthmatters
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    Truthmatters BANNED

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    You do what the individual child needs to lear how to deal with the world in a realistic way.

    That sometimes includes letting them win.

    I was the sixth child out of 8.

    I was ten and eleven years older than the two who were younger than me and the rest of us were all born in a matter of 8 years.

    I didnt win many games in my childhood.

    That taught me that there is ALWAYS someone who knows more than you and that you can learn from these people.

    It was a little painful but I at least learned something VERY valuable for life.


    My bros and sis's are all very smart people and they taught me alot.

    They helped teach me how to spot a phoney expert.

    There are a ton of people out in the world who think the way to live life is to PRETEND you know something and then shark attack you if you question their false information and lack of real knowledge.


    I can spot a phoney from miles away.

    Thanks bros and sis's
     
  8. AllieBaba
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    AllieBaba BANNED

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    Shit no I don't let them win. I might not commit my all to playing poker, but it's a game and if I'm playing a game I'm going to take my wins.

    And Monopoly, cribbage, tic tac toe? It's a dog eat dog world, kidlets.
     
  9. Mad Scientist
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    Mad Scientist Deplorable Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    I would let my kids win until I could see they had a good grasp of the rules, then I would play them harder until one day they had no trouble beating me! :lol: That was about when the Nintendo 64 came out. I could never beat my kids at Nintendo Baseball after that!
     
  10. Truthmatters
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    Well we know how ABs kids are going to turn out.

    They are going to try and eat the other kids.
     

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