Letting your child(ren) win

[PixieStix]

I made an observation recently about children and their parents in public places...restaurants, in particular.

Children seem to be running the show. Loud, obnoxious, sitting at the tables/boths on their knees, reaching for things across the table. Making all conversation about them.

Need to teach manners. A rare thing these days.

 

[AllieBaba]

Yeah, cuz beating a 4 year old's ass in checkers every time really makes them want to keep playing.

Not every time.

My kids love checkers. And Tic Tac Toe. And all games.

My best memories are of playing cards with mom (she always won and I suspect she cheats but I've NEVER CAUGHT HER) and playing board games including chess and Monopoly with my brilliant brother in law (older than me) who ALWAYS WON. The kids would FIGHT over who got to play chess with him.

 

[Truthmatters]

Yeah, cuz beating a 4 year old's ass in checkers every time really makes them want to keep playing.

Not every time.

My kids love checkers. And Tic Tac Toe. And all games.

My best memories are of playing cards with mom (she always won and I suspect she cheats but I've NEVER CAUGHT HER) and playing board games including chess and Monopoly with my brilliant brother in law (older than me) who ALWAYS WON. The kids would FIGHT over who got to play chess with him.

Cheating is just part of the dog eat dog world.

You might as well teach your kids to cheat with that parental outlook

 

[AllieBaba]

What fucking assholes you and mani are. Later.

 

[Ravi]

Losing is part of winning.

 

[Truthmatters]

What fucking assholes you and mani are. Later.

No you just dont think things through.

You think teaching your kids its a dog eat dog world does them a favor.

What it does is forces them to live in a dog eat dog world instead of teaching them to make it a better world.

 

[Zoom-boing]

TM, my experience was exactly the opposite.

I'm the oldest of three boys. My brothers are 25 & 40 months younger than me. Very early on in life it became apparent that partially because of my physical and emotional issues, they were going to be bigger, stronger, faster, and just plain better at pretty much everything than I was. By the time I was 10 or 11 that was the case. Same thing at school.... I was generally the smallest, weakest, and slowest kid in the class. Even less physically gifted than many of the girls at times. What I lacked in physicality I made up for somewhat with my knowledge of the games, but even that didn't always help very much. It quickly reached a point where it just wasn't worth it to get involved in anything competitive because I knew I wasn't going to win.

You are now 37 and need to learn to learn from you past instead of allowing it to rule your current world.


LEARN new things and be willing to change your mind according to the facts.

Its either that or you will sulk the rest of your life.

What makes you think he's sulking?

 

[Annie]

TM, my experience was exactly the opposite.

I'm the oldest of three boys. My brothers are 25 & 40 months younger than me. Very early on in life it became apparent that partially because of my physical and emotional issues, they were going to be bigger, stronger, faster, and just plain better at pretty much everything than I was. By the time I was 10 or 11 that was the case. Same thing at school.... I was generally the smallest, weakest, and slowest kid in the class. Even less physically gifted than many of the girls at times. What I lacked in physicality I made up for somewhat with my knowledge of the games, but even that didn't always help very much. It quickly reached a point where it just wasn't worth it to get involved in anything competitive because I knew I wasn't going to win.

You are now 37 and need to learn to learn from you past instead of allowing it to rule your current world.


LEARN new things and be willing to change your mind according to the facts.

Its either that or you will sulk the rest of your life.

What makes you think he's sulking?

I think he wallows in his psychopathy and doubt it bothers his folks or siblings one bit. On the other hand, he refuses to find pleasure in anything. Just ask him.

 

[Truthmatters]

I know him better than you do ZB.

I will not reveal our private conversations

 

[rightwinger]

I always let my kids win...they got a kick out of it

Except for video games. There they beat the shit out of me without me letting them

 

[AllieBaba]

What fucking assholes you and mani are. Later.

No you just dont think things through.

You think teaching your kids its a dog eat dog world does them a favor.

What it does is forces them to live in a dog eat dog world instead of teaching them to make it a better world.

No, I teach my kids that games are fun when you play to win. I teach them to be good sports, and good winners. I teach them how to play skillfully.

I'm more interested in your child rearing experience, TM. Care to share?

 

[Mr. H.]

At board games/cards/sports/etc. I'd almost always let my kids win - up until they were about 6 or 7.
Give them the thrill of victory! It's also a faster way for them to learn rules. As they got better, I'd be more challenging then eventually move in for the "kill".

Competitiveness is something to ease into IMO. Start them out in a cutthroat environment and they may turn out to be Republicans.

Seriously- what's the big deal. Just kids. Let 'em have fun.

I once stacked the deck when my daughter wasn't looking and she took every single play in "War".

 

[Truthmatters]

I taught my child to learn to win and lose.

I taught my child some people think its a dog eat dog world and will do ANYTHING to win.

I taught my child the only way to keep these peole from ruining everyone elses life is to fight for what is right and fair.

Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, its far more important HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME.

Seek a better world and be the change you seek to see.

 

[Anachronism]

You are now 37 and need to learn to learn from you past instead of allowing it to rule your current world.

LEARN new things and be willing to change your mind according to the facts.

Its either that or you will sulk the rest of your life.

The Facts haven't changed in any significant way, TM. Yes, I've overcome some of the physical issues, but no matter what competitive endeavour I engage in, I still FAIL if I go at it with any intention of being competitive at it. Doesn't matter if it's shooting, horseback riding, medieval combat, road races, etc.... If I cannot separate myself from the idea of it being a competition, I end up failing at it. Hell, most of the time I fail to even live up to my own expectations at most of these things.

What makes you think he's sulking?

It's not sulking. Most of the time it's outright RAGE. To the point of throwing things through tv sets when my team loses, punching holes in walls, kicking holes in doors, giving up on activities I've invested thousands of dollars in, etc.... You don't want to be around me when I lose; it's not a pretty sight.

 

[AllieBaba]

Good grief, you guys need to chill.

 

[Ravi]

You are now 37 and need to learn to learn from you past instead of allowing it to rule your current world.

LEARN new things and be willing to change your mind according to the facts.

Its either that or you will sulk the rest of your life.

The Facts haven't changed in any significant way, TM. Yes, I've overcome some of the physical issues, but no matter what competitive endeavour I engage in, I still FAIL if I go at it with any intention of being competitive at it. Doesn't matter if it's shooting, horseback riding, medieval combat, road races, etc.... If I cannot separate myself from the idea of it being a competition, I end up failing at it. Hell, most of the time I fail to even live up to my own expectations at most of these things.

What makes you think he's sulking?

It's not sulking. Most of the time it's outright RAGE. To the point of throwing things through tv sets when my team loses, punching holes in walls, kicking holes in doors, giving up on activities I've invested thousands of dollars in, etc.... You don't want to be around me when I lose; it's not a pretty sight.

Quit whining.

 

[elvis]

Was Anachronism in Eyes Wide Shut?

 

[Truthmatters]

You are now 37 and need to learn to learn from you past instead of allowing it to rule your current world.

LEARN new things and be willing to change your mind according to the facts.

Its either that or you will sulk the rest of your life.

The Facts haven't changed in any significant way, TM. Yes, I've overcome some of the physical issues, but no matter what competitive endeavour I engage in, I still FAIL if I go at it with any intention of being competitive at it. Doesn't matter if it's shooting, horseback riding, medieval combat, road races, etc.... If I cannot separate myself from the idea of it being a competition, I end up failing at it. Hell, most of the time I fail to even live up to my own expectations at most of these things.

What makes you think he's sulking?

It's not sulking. Most of the time it's outright RAGE. To the point of throwing things through tv sets when my team loses, punching holes in walls, kicking holes in doors, giving up on activities I've invested thousands of dollars in, etc.... You don't want to be around me when I lose; it's not a pretty sight.

Dude you refuse any attempts to get you feeling better.

You hold onto idiotic notions that are clearly ruining you life.

GET HELP.

 

[Anachronism]

Seriously- what's the big deal. Just kids. Let 'em have fun.

For some of us it was never about the "Fun" because the only "Fun" was in the "Winning". Even to this day, if I cannot separate the activity from the idea of Competition, I cannot enjoy it unless I Win. That's why I don't engage in a lot of even semi-competitive activities; and the ones I do participate in, I go out of my way to make sure they're things I have no chance of winning, so that hopefully those competitive juices don't ever get ignited and destroy that activity for me.

 

[Truthmatters]

Good grief, you guys need to chill.

No you need to realise you have a messed up philosophy in life that is likely going to harm your childrens future