I Am The Bad Man

[Ringel05]

Whenever anyone in my family is annoyed or needs the support of berzerker-like fury, they come to me: "Will YOU make this phone call? YOU are.......

good at 'this sort of thing.'"

"This sort of thing," is always dealing with customer service issues, unpleasent neighbors, irritating sales people, kids being bullied.....all the activity in life that may require less than a polite response.

When I respond, to their requests, they're usually happy, but always unsettled. There's always the unsaid but understood feeling that they feel sorry for the target of my response.

And, GOD FORBID that I respond to those who annoy, bully, or irritate ME!!! Then I'm just being A RAVING LUNATIC!!!

No. That's not the only time.

 

[SmarterThanHick]

Last night for example:

I go out to a sports bar with my 14 yo. we get there 30 minutes before the end of happy hour, and I order stuff off the happy hour menue.

When the bill comes, its for another table. I send it back.

When the second bill comes, it doesn't include all the happy hour discounts, and I ask to see the Manager, and the New and Improved Check.

He brings it out, I declare that the Nacho's Sucked, and he says, "You don't need to raise your voice sir." So, I whisper, "your nachos suck.", and he says, "I heard you the first time, sir."

I says, "That's great, because I've been sitting here waiting on my third version of the check, wondering why I should ever return to this restaurant."

He says, "Sir, you don't need to raise your voice."

I says, "I'm NOT RAISING MY VOICE!!"

He says, "You don't need to return to this restaurant," and retreats behind the bar.

I stand up, and shout, "I"M NOT GOING TO RETURN BECAUSE YOUR NACHOS SUCK, AND YOU CHEATED ME OUT OF $10 ON THE BILL!!!"

And right when teenagers are coming to terms with how embarrassing their parents are, BAM! you blindside them with that little gem.

 

[rainlover]

I don't think they can do that, Samson. You can't make the debit company/bank eat those dinners...

We'll see.

Samson your avatar is so hot I want to do you good and hard.

Just sayen..

 

[rainlover]

uummm yer im a girl. Doesnt hurt at all that your now a bad man ggrr

 

[Samson]

I to am the guy who those in my family are embarrassed by unless it is THEM who I am saving money or whatever.

My wife would rather just pay and move on. Fuck that.

There are merchants that bump each check or bill just a little to make an extra profit from the "too embarrassed to complain" and the "too distracted to notice" consumer until they mmet me.

Yes Sampson, you are an asshole. A necessary one and you have the rules of the game down here, you complain after the food has been served.

My brother in law starts kicking up his agro long before the food arrives insuring we are going to get booger and spit spice in every bite.

I am an asshole.

But I wouldn't have made an issue out of the nachos had the check been correct the SECOND time I saw it (I'd forgiven the waitress for making the Original Sin of giving me a check for another table).

Also, I don't treat waitstaff as if they are to blame, but management is another story. I'll chew up a manager and spit him out, mainly because I dislike all authority, but especially incompetent authority.

 

[Samson]

Last night for example:

I go out to a sports bar with my 14 yo. we get there 30 minutes before the end of happy hour, and I order stuff off the happy hour menue.

When the bill comes, its for another table. I send it back.

When the second bill comes, it doesn't include all the happy hour discounts, and I ask to see the Manager, and the New and Improved Check.

He brings it out, I declare that the Nacho's Sucked, and he says, "You don't need to raise your voice sir." So, I whisper, "your nachos suck.", and he says, "I heard you the first time, sir."

I says, "That's great, because I've been sitting here waiting on my third version of the check, wondering why I should ever return to this restaurant."

He says, "Sir, you don't need to raise your voice."

I says, "I'm NOT RAISING MY VOICE!!"

He says, "You don't need to return to this restaurant," and retreats behind the bar.

I stand up, and shout, "I"M NOT GOING TO RETURN BECAUSE YOUR NACHOS SUCK, AND YOU CHEATED ME OUT OF $10 ON THE BILL!!!"

And right when teenagers are coming to terms with how embarrassing their parents are, BAM! you blindside them with that little gem.

Yes, you're perceptive in this observation. Both teens were horrified that I'd behave so embarrassingly, but I explained that as I already have one foot in the grave, and thus very little dignity to lose, they can expect more of the same until they nail me into my coffin.

This sorta makes up for all the time I lurked outside mensroom stalls waiting for them to Wee-wee, while other guys cautiously glanced at me from the urinals.

 

[saveliberty]

Good news. I wasn't the manager. I'd have just placed your nachos in a bag and placed it under your seat after you left. Then called the police and reported an unattended package.

Sounds like this guy graduated from your kid's school. Its $10 bucks. Let it go.

 

[rainlover]

He can't let it go, he is the bad man, he is hot,and I want to do him bad.

 

[Samson]

Good news. I wasn't the manager. I'd have just placed your nachos in a bag and placed it under your seat after you left. Then called the police and reported an unattended package.

Sounds like this guy graduated from your kid's school. Its $10 bucks. Let it go.

Great publicity idea: Have the Bomb Squad show up to your restaurant. Nothing says, "Have it YOUR WAY" like an explosive-sniffing dog under your table.

I'll need to file that away for future consideration.

 

[saveliberty]

Good news. I wasn't the manager. I'd have just placed your nachos in a bag and placed it under your seat after you left. Then called the police and reported an unattended package.

Sounds like this guy graduated from your kid's school. Its $10 bucks. Let it go.

Great publicity idea: Have the Bomb Squad show up to your restaurant. Nothing says, "Have it YOUR WAY" like an explosive-sniffing dog under your table.

I'll need to file that away for future consideration.

Yes, it works better from your end. I just left my take home by the table.

The trick is to put it inside another bag with the ticking alarm clock you bought earlier. Yes, I'm bad too.

 

[Blagger]

cool beans

Last night for example:

I go out to a sports bar with my 14 yo. we get there 30 minutes before the end of happy hour, and I order stuff off the happy hour menue.

When the bill comes, its for another table. I send it back.

When the second bill comes, it doesn't include all the happy hour discounts, and I ask to see the Manager, and the New and Improved Check.

He brings it out, I declare that the Nacho's Sucked, and he says, "You don't need to raise your voice sir." So, I whisper, "your nachos suck.", and he says, "I heard you the first time, sir."

I says, "That's great, because I've been sitting here waiting on my third version of the check, wondering why I should ever return to this restaurant."

He says, "Sir, you don't need to raise your voice."

I says, "I'm NOT RAISING MY VOICE!!"

He says, "You don't need to return to this restaurant," and retreats behind the bar.

I stand up, and shout, "I"M NOT GOING TO RETURN BECAUSE YOUR NACHOS SUCK, AND YOU CHEATED ME OUT OF $10 ON THE BILL!!!"

Any more tales from the front line, Sammy?

 

[Samson]

cool beans

Last night for example:

I go out to a sports bar with my 14 yo. we get there 30 minutes before the end of happy hour, and I order stuff off the happy hour menue.

When the bill comes, its for another table. I send it back.

When the second bill comes, it doesn't include all the happy hour discounts, and I ask to see the Manager, and the New and Improved Check.

He brings it out, I declare that the Nacho's Sucked, and he says, "You don't need to raise your voice sir." So, I whisper, "your nachos suck.", and he says, "I heard you the first time, sir."

I says, "That's great, because I've been sitting here waiting on my third version of the check, wondering why I should ever return to this restaurant."

He says, "Sir, you don't need to raise your voice."

I says, "I'm NOT RAISING MY VOICE!!"

He says, "You don't need to return to this restaurant," and retreats behind the bar.

I stand up, and shout, "I"M NOT GOING TO RETURN BECAUSE YOUR NACHOS SUCK, AND YOU CHEATED ME OUT OF $10 ON THE BILL!!!"

Any more tales from the front line, Sammy?

Well, since you asked:

I was in my Hampton Inn Hotel Room last week when at about 9 PM someone was rapping, rapping at my chamber door. I went to investigate, and, looking out the peephole could see a figure standing to one side, obscured.

I says, "Hey, you'll need to stand in front of the door so I can see you."

The figure said, "Um......I think I have the wrong room," but she moved in front of the door.

Seeing as she wasn't entirely homely, I opened the door, and said, "Maybe you have the RIGHT room!"

She was babbling away about something. I just laughed, closed the door, and went back to bed.

 

[Blagger]

Really.

 

[Samson]

Really.

I didn't have any cash on me.

 

[uscitizen]

Whenever anyone in my family is annoyed or needs the support of berzerker-like fury, they come to me: "Will YOU make this phone call? YOU are.......

good at 'this sort of thing.'"

"This sort of thing," is always dealing with customer service issues, unpleasent neighbors, irritating sales people, kids being bullied.....all the activity in life that may require less than a polite response.

When I respond, to their requests, they're usually happy, but always unsettled. There's always the unsaid but understood feeling that they feel sorry for the target of my response.

And, GOD FORBID that I respond to those who annoy, bully, or irritate ME!!! Then I'm just being A RAVING LUNATIC!!!

so that's what that phone call was all about.
I thought you were just another electioneer.

 

[Conspiracist]

cool beans

Last night for example:

I go out to a sports bar with my 14 yo. we get there 30 minutes before the end of happy hour, and I order stuff off the happy hour menue.

When the bill comes, its for another table. I send it back.

When the second bill comes, it doesn't include all the happy hour discounts, and I ask to see the Manager, and the New and Improved Check.

He brings it out, I declare that the Nacho's Sucked, and he says, "You don't need to raise your voice sir." So, I whisper, "your nachos suck.", and he says, "I heard you the first time, sir."

I says, "That's great, because I've been sitting here waiting on my third version of the check, wondering why I should ever return to this restaurant."

He says, "Sir, you don't need to raise your voice."

I says, "I'm NOT RAISING MY VOICE!!"

He says, "You don't need to return to this restaurant," and retreats behind the bar.

I stand up, and shout, "I"M NOT GOING TO RETURN BECAUSE YOUR NACHOS SUCK, AND YOU CHEATED ME OUT OF $10 ON THE BILL!!!"

I've got stories like that from my past. It just embarasses those that are with me and kind of makes them a captive audience to my idiocy. Sounds like ya might wanna find some anger to let go of. It just hurts you and those around you.

 

[Samson]

I've got stories like that from my past. It just embarasses those that are with me and kind of makes them a captive audience to my idiocy. Sounds like ya might wanna find some anger to let go of. It just hurts you and those around you.

I thought, "letting go of some anger" was what I was doing, Dr. Phil.

You think I ought bottle it up until I can climb a clocktower with a 30.06 and a case of ammo?

 

[Conspiracist]

I've got stories like that from my past. It just embarasses those that are with me and kind of makes them a captive audience to my idiocy. Sounds like ya might wanna find some anger to let go of. It just hurts you and those around you.

I thought, "letting go of some anger" was what I was doing, Dr. Phil.

You think I ought bottle it up until I can climb a clocktower with a 30.06 and a case of ammo?

I guess that would work Oprah... LOL I was just speaking from my own experiences... did not mean to offend.

 

[Samson]

I've got stories like that from my past. It just embarasses those that are with me and kind of makes them a captive audience to my idiocy. Sounds like ya might wanna find some anger to let go of. It just hurts you and those around you.

I thought, "letting go of some anger" was what I was doing, Dr. Phil.

You think I ought bottle it up until I can climb a clocktower with a 30.06 and a case of ammo?

I guess that would work Oprah... LOL I was just speaking from my own experiences... did not mean to offend.

Well, its a Goddamn Good Thing I didn't take any OFFENSE!!!!

If I was freakin' every time I went to a restaurant, then yes, I'd agree there was an issue that may need to be resolved through medication, but this is a rare occurance (frankly, I cannot recall the last).

Although, there was a recent display at the Costco Tire Center.

 

[Conspiracist]

My last was putting a cigarrette out on a guy's forehead.