I am sure this isn't too far from the truth...

Discussion in 'Humor' started by fuzzykitten99, Jul 8, 2004.

  1. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    OFFICIAL DEMOCRATIC
    PARTY CHAD RULES

    or "HOW TO DETERMINE INTENT OF VOTERS"

    DOUBLE PUNCHED CARDS-- Go to Gore because that person was poor and had no vision insurance and could not see the ballot properly-obviously wanted Gore's medical plan.

    NO PUNCHES ON CARD-- Is a Gore vote cast by a blind person who tried to feel for the right spot but could not. They knew Gore would fight for them.

    HANGING CHADS-- Gore vote because Gore is a better hang-er on-err than Bush.

    DIMPLES ON BALLOTS--Vote for Gore, because every American knows that Gore was supposed to win this election and it is only the dimples that can give Gore a win.

    GARAGE DOOR CHADS--Gore vote because Democrats would rather count the suspect ballots in a closed garage with no-one watching.

    SWINGING CHADS-- Goes to Big Al, because deep down we all know how he swings from being one person to another.

    MULTIPLE DIMPLES AROUND CHADS-- Each dimple is a vote for Al Gore because that person really liked Gore and since the voter intended 3 to 4 votes for Gore, he should get them all.

    NO VOTES--These votes must go to Gore because a no vote is a vote against Bush, since the intent of the voter was to say no to Bush, it is a yes vote for Al.

    INTERNET VOTES-- Obvious vote for Gore because he invented the Internet.

    MILITARY VOTES-- Gore wants all of these, but since voter intent is clear on these, Gore would rather have as few counted as possible. Gore, it would appear, wants to have the NATO/UN control our military so he doesn't care.

    BUCHANAN VOTES-- Looks like he lost them all............to Gore.

    NADER VOTES--Maybe they were hidden amongst the trees.

    BUSH VOTES-- Should go to Gore because the polls, exit polls, and popular vote told Gore everyone wanted him and not Bush.

    ALL THE REST OF THE VOTES--Gore concedes these should go to Bush


    CONGRATULATIONS!
    YOU HAVE NOW JOINED THE OTHERS WHO ARE NOW CERTIFIED AS "OFFICIAL CHAD SPECIALISTS" BY THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY OF FLORIDA.
     

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