How the Republican Debates will Go with Trump Onstage

[Statistikhengst]

The debates will be a comedy gold mine for days and maybe even weeks. I am looking forward to it like little kids look forward to Christmas. It will be every bit as funny as letting them fight it out with Nerf weapons.

I plan to record every single one of the debates and throw a couple of whiskey parties with the best takes from the debates.

 

[Statistikhengst]

Moderator, we'll call him Brett: "Governor Walker, what would you do to change the tax code in the USA to the benefit of the middle-class?"

Walker: "Well, Brett, I would"

(interrupted by Trump)

Trump: "Hell, who in the fuck is gonna vote for that clown Walker, he's a loser. Pfft. Now listen, Brett, I'm rich, I'm really rich, and I'm smart, and I'm gonna make all those rapist druggie murdering messicans pay 35% tax just to get to look at our beautiful border, plus a little surcharge for Trump Industries, of course. And that money will go to our Army because I'm making us the bestest"

Bush: "Donald, I believe that Gov. Walk---"

(interrupted by Trump)

Trump: "And who in the Hell is gonna vote for you, Latina-lover? Shit, your wife's not even an American? What are you, afraid of knocking up real American pussy, or what? Damn, you're almost as bad as that undocumented half-breed who is ruining our country! Now, listen, Brett, I am really smart, and I know I can fix everything and make America great again, with profits for every rich man, a chicken in every rich man's pot and bomb the fuck out of Iran, btw."

(unscheduled commercial break).....

And the next day Trump leads all other GOP candidates by double digits in the polls

"The FauxNews Snap-Snickerdoodle OMG OMG FRIKKEN FRIKKEN poll shows that Donald Trump is now at 46% among Republicans following his bombastic debate performance last night.

However, in General Election matchups against Hillary Clinton, he is behind by 29 points.

Details at 11"

 

[evince]

the rest wont get vetted because Trump will give them cover.


then they will get vetted after its all over.


Your unvetted candidate will get vetted in the general just like robmoney got vetted.......at a 47 % level

 

[evince]

shot taking words?


taxes?


illegals?



how many times will they cheer death?

 

[Preacher]

First question will be "What is your name". Rick Perry will be stumped for an answer.

Rick Santorum will be ushered offstage when he insists on bringing his dog for what he calls "show and tell". Marco Rubio will immediately seize the opportunity by claiming the dog's water dish, earning him points for quick thinking. Chris Christie will challenge the dog to see which of them can wolf down a bowl of food faster. Christie will win.

Jeb Bush will ignore everybody, calmly walking to the front and going, "I win, right?" Ted Cruz will pepper his answers with the word "eh". No one will notice since the audio keeps dropping out because of inexperienced stagehands hired at the last minute because Scott Walker dissolved IATSE before the debate.

Ben Carson, Carly Fiorina and George Pataki will be held in the Green Room until after the event, since no one recognizes them and assumes they are the post-debate entertainment, Peter Paul and Mary. Mike Huckabee will shrug and play bass for them.

Donald T. Rump will threaten to sue them all, then buy the building, turn it into a casino, and go bankrupt.

You missed Rand Paul.

 

[Preacher]

I watch the republican debates for sheer entertainment. I am a politics junky. I won't for a damn one of them come primary or general election but I agree with most republicans on social policy...Democrat ones I will certainly watch!

 

[Unkotare]

This could put Saturday Night Live out of business once and for all.

SNL has to find a comedian that can play him.

Wanted: very old, ugly looking actor willing to wear an unbelievably ridiculous toupee who can play an complete asshole in every possible way for 2 hours straight without cracking a smile. Other traits needed: ugly clothes, small penis, hubris without end.

And now YOU are the clown.

 

[Statistikhengst]

This could put Saturday Night Live out of business once and for all.

SNL has to find a comedian that can play him.

Wanted: very old, ugly looking actor willing to wear an unbelievably ridiculous toupee who can play an complete asshole in every possible way for 2 hours straight without cracking a smile. Other traits needed: ugly clothes, small penis, hubris without end.

And now YOU are the clown.

Only in your weird RWNJ wet-dreams!!!

 

[Toro]

There's a part of me that doesn't want Trump onstage because he's such a fucking douchebag, and he'll just make it harder for a Republican to win in 2016.

But there's a part of me that wants him there to watch the train wreck in action.

 

[Pogo]

This could put Saturday Night Live out of business once and for all.

SNL has to find a comedian that can play him.

Too bad Chris Farley's dead.