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Carey Fuller
I want to thank everyone who follows me around on Twitter and Facebook because to me, it shows that others actually take an interest in what I do as a homeless person and as a homeless parent. Perhaps you learned something by seeing that Im really not all that different than everybody else. Sure, I may get involved when others dont, wont or cant. I might tell the truth even if its inconvenient for others to hear.
In turn Ive learned a lot about people just from observation. For instance, when I first wrote a letter to change.org about what its like to be a homeless mother, it generated more hits than I thought was possible. To me, it seemed incredible that so many people were either astounded that homeless families were everywhere or didnt want to believe what my experiences have been. So for those of you still baffled by us homeless parents, heres a list for you to consider:
How do you keep a roof over your head if child costs more than your rent?
Just because theres a child support order in place, theres no guarantee youll receive it and if dad can only find minimum wage jobs, just how much child support do you think will be received?
Dont assume theres family help especially if relatives are barely making it themselves or choose not to get involved because its not their problem.
Dont tell people to get on welfare if you dont know what the current welfare system is or the fact that programs are being cut permanently. In case you didnt know, theres a process to see if
you qualify and then you may be put on a waiting list. Section 8 for housing may not even be open to apply for in your state.
Dont assume someone can just show up at a shelter and get help. In case you havent been watching the news, many shelters are closing due to lack of financial support. If you have shelters still open, its possible there will be a waiting list after being seen by an intake specialist because not all shelters will take you. Not only that, the shelter in question may not be a safe place to be and you may get turned away due to not enough room.
Dont assume that just because your community has ample services available, things will be the same in other cities or states. Also, it may not be feasible for a homeless person to just pick up and move where you are.
Get ready to have a family be split apart if local shelters take either men only, women only or women with kids up to a certain age only.
Theres a time limit on how long folks can stay in a shelter so dont assume that just because theyre in one, theyll be ok now.
Dont assume that families are homeless because of drugs, alcohol, mental illness or being irresponsible with finances.
Little things you take for granted that act as a suspension system for you simply dont exist out here, like being able to shower every day or get to an indoor bathroom. Having a state id., drivers license, mailing address, place to do laundry or a cell phone are things that can prevent a homeless person from being able to get work or have access to services.
This is for educators: Homeless kids have to do their homework either at a public library (if theres one nearby and they can get to it), a restaurant or in a car. If theyre too busy trying to survive, dont assume theyre falling behind in school due to not trying hard enough. Also, its easier to get sick out here and it takes longer to recover without your own home so absences due to illness are common. When it comes to school functions, many times homeless families will opt out if they cant afford nice clothes or uniforms for their kids, cant tell you how many times Ive had to deal with that even though schools were told we were homeless. My teen couldnt join most sports because she couldnt afford the costs involved with being on a team.
For families living out of their cars, a minimum wage job will barely keep a vehicle maintained, insured and the tank full of gas. Gas is always a priority because there arent too many safe places to park for the night so sleep is a luxury that comes in naps or not at all.
As far as food banks and public feeds are concerned, if you can get to them, they will help stretch a food budget especially if youre a homeless youth who only gets $200 a month in foodstamps. By the way foodstamps wont buy any hot foods from a grocery store deli so if you dont have a kitchen or way to cook food, youll be eating cold items. The other thing is that even though you can buy groceries, if you dont have a refrigerator to store anything so buying perishables is on a day to day basis. Also, if youre in a heavy need area, public feeds can only bring so much food before having to turn folks away, the same is happening to local food banks. If you didnt already know this, most food banks allow homeless folks to visit once a week and if youre housed, once a month.
Dont assume homeless kids are necessarily anti-social because they dont show up to birthday invitations or dances. They might be ashamed of their clothes or the fact that they cant buy a gift. Homeless kids are acutely aware of the fact they cant have sleepovers with their friends and some parents have a problem letting their kids visit their homeless friends at a shelter.
read more Homeless life is not pretty | Carey Fuller
I want to thank everyone who follows me around on Twitter and Facebook because to me, it shows that others actually take an interest in what I do as a homeless person and as a homeless parent. Perhaps you learned something by seeing that Im really not all that different than everybody else. Sure, I may get involved when others dont, wont or cant. I might tell the truth even if its inconvenient for others to hear.
In turn Ive learned a lot about people just from observation. For instance, when I first wrote a letter to change.org about what its like to be a homeless mother, it generated more hits than I thought was possible. To me, it seemed incredible that so many people were either astounded that homeless families were everywhere or didnt want to believe what my experiences have been. So for those of you still baffled by us homeless parents, heres a list for you to consider:
How do you keep a roof over your head if child costs more than your rent?
Just because theres a child support order in place, theres no guarantee youll receive it and if dad can only find minimum wage jobs, just how much child support do you think will be received?
Dont assume theres family help especially if relatives are barely making it themselves or choose not to get involved because its not their problem.
Dont tell people to get on welfare if you dont know what the current welfare system is or the fact that programs are being cut permanently. In case you didnt know, theres a process to see if
you qualify and then you may be put on a waiting list. Section 8 for housing may not even be open to apply for in your state.
Dont assume someone can just show up at a shelter and get help. In case you havent been watching the news, many shelters are closing due to lack of financial support. If you have shelters still open, its possible there will be a waiting list after being seen by an intake specialist because not all shelters will take you. Not only that, the shelter in question may not be a safe place to be and you may get turned away due to not enough room.
Dont assume that just because your community has ample services available, things will be the same in other cities or states. Also, it may not be feasible for a homeless person to just pick up and move where you are.
Get ready to have a family be split apart if local shelters take either men only, women only or women with kids up to a certain age only.
Theres a time limit on how long folks can stay in a shelter so dont assume that just because theyre in one, theyll be ok now.
Dont assume that families are homeless because of drugs, alcohol, mental illness or being irresponsible with finances.
Little things you take for granted that act as a suspension system for you simply dont exist out here, like being able to shower every day or get to an indoor bathroom. Having a state id., drivers license, mailing address, place to do laundry or a cell phone are things that can prevent a homeless person from being able to get work or have access to services.
This is for educators: Homeless kids have to do their homework either at a public library (if theres one nearby and they can get to it), a restaurant or in a car. If theyre too busy trying to survive, dont assume theyre falling behind in school due to not trying hard enough. Also, its easier to get sick out here and it takes longer to recover without your own home so absences due to illness are common. When it comes to school functions, many times homeless families will opt out if they cant afford nice clothes or uniforms for their kids, cant tell you how many times Ive had to deal with that even though schools were told we were homeless. My teen couldnt join most sports because she couldnt afford the costs involved with being on a team.
For families living out of their cars, a minimum wage job will barely keep a vehicle maintained, insured and the tank full of gas. Gas is always a priority because there arent too many safe places to park for the night so sleep is a luxury that comes in naps or not at all.
As far as food banks and public feeds are concerned, if you can get to them, they will help stretch a food budget especially if youre a homeless youth who only gets $200 a month in foodstamps. By the way foodstamps wont buy any hot foods from a grocery store deli so if you dont have a kitchen or way to cook food, youll be eating cold items. The other thing is that even though you can buy groceries, if you dont have a refrigerator to store anything so buying perishables is on a day to day basis. Also, if youre in a heavy need area, public feeds can only bring so much food before having to turn folks away, the same is happening to local food banks. If you didnt already know this, most food banks allow homeless folks to visit once a week and if youre housed, once a month.
Dont assume homeless kids are necessarily anti-social because they dont show up to birthday invitations or dances. They might be ashamed of their clothes or the fact that they cant buy a gift. Homeless kids are acutely aware of the fact they cant have sleepovers with their friends and some parents have a problem letting their kids visit their homeless friends at a shelter.
read more Homeless life is not pretty | Carey Fuller