Guantanamo Prisoners To Receive GI Bill Benefits

Discussion in 'Humor' started by longknife, Oct 13, 2012.

  1. longknife
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    longknife Gold Member

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    by SGT B @ Guantanamo Prisoners To Receive GI Bill Benefits | The Duffel Blog

    Detainees At GTMO [​IMG]

    GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - In a controversial move praised by the international community as a promotion of human rights, the Department of Defense has begun allowing prisoners at Guantanamo Bay to seek Post 9/11 GI Bill benefits. While these benefits have traditionally been restricted to veterans of the United States Military to use in pursuit of a degree, the Pentagon has seen fit to begin allowing GTMO prisoners to enroll in the program.

    DoD Spokesman Wesley Manheim said that it was all a matter of fairness.

    “The DoD has been doing everything it can to prevent torture from being used against detainees at GTMO. By allowing the detainees to use the Department of Veterans Affairs, we hope to completely crush their souls with bureaucracy, which to be noted, is completely different from torture. I mean hell, the VA does that to our veterans on a daily basis.”

    When pressed as to how the detainees would be able to use the money, Manheim stated, “Mostly through online courses. Probably Phoenix College. Don’t worry, it’s not like they’ll be able to get a REAL degree.”

    Eric K. Shinseki, head of the Department of Veteran Affairs, informed the Duffel Blog of the details of how the VA would handle the new claims. “Because most ‘guests’ at Guantanamo Bay have been there nearly a decade and there is no end in site for their ‘visit’, the Department of Veterans Affairs is ready to have their claims processed in 12-15 years as per standard operating procedure.”

    Secretary Shinseki also hinted at plans to award the tan beret of the Army Rangers to all GTMO Detainees. When asked the purpose of this, Shinseki commented that “if they’re going to represent the Army in the classroom, I want them to look sharp while doing it.”

    Representatives of the 75th Ranger Regiment released a response to Shinseki’s comments: “Seriously, F**K that guy.”

    With much more at the link. :eusa_whistle::eusa_whistle::eusa_whistle:
     
  2. del
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    del BANNED

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    are you this stupid in real life?

    :lol:
     
  3. del
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    del BANNED

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    it's a joke, zippy

    smarten up
     
  4. The Infidel
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    The Infidel EVIL CONSERVATIVE

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    huh?


    Tissue?
     
  5. del
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    del BANNED

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    About Us | The Duffel Blog

    the onion is up in arms about this, too....

    :rofl:
     

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