Girls Are Mean. Researches Have Discovered...

[dilloduck]

How so, if they don't know what it is?

They feel empty

 

[Said1]

easy---it seems easier to change the other person than to inconvenience you're selfish ways

For sure, it's easier to blame someone else for the shortcomings in your life, instead of controlling it. Let someone else control you and screw things up, it makes you look like a saint.

 

[Shattered]

And given their negative attitudes, it's probably a good thing. Although there's probably a few morons around who want to try to "change" them.
No THAT is something i don't get.

I dunno.. If you met someone, and you *knew* this was their problem, but you really liked them, wouldn't you try to get them to change, and trust you? I'd think they'd be worth at least that much...But on the other hand, how much time do you invest in trying to change them?

 

[Said1]

I dunno.. If you met someone, and you *knew* this was their problem, but you really liked them, wouldn't you try to get them to change, and trust you? I'd think they'd be worth at least that much...But on the other hand, how much time do you invest in trying to change them?

No, I wouldn't do that ever, not in a million years. For a friend I would talk to them, but never in a romantic relationship. Would you date someone who thinks that in the end, women are cheating you know what's out to get your money? Why would you want to waste your time proving yourself to someone who thinks so little of you from the get go?

 

[dilloduck]

I dunno.. If you met someone, and you *knew* this was their problem, but you really liked them, wouldn't you try to get them to change, and trust you? I'd think they'd be worth at least that much...But on the other hand, how much time do you invest in trying to change them?

you wanna be in a relationship with an equal or your "patient" ?

 

[Shattered]

No, I wouldn't do that ever, not in a million years. For a friend I would talk to them, but never in a romantic relationship. Would you date someone who thinks that in the end, women are cheating you know what's out to get your money? Why would you want to waste your time proving yourself to someone who thinks so little of you from the get go?

Maybe because they don't know any better (yet), and you do.. I dunno. I'm a sucker for trying to help (some) people, tho. On the other hand, there's people I won't waste my time with.

 

[Trinity]

I dunno.. If you met someone, and you *knew* this was their problem, but you really liked them, wouldn't you try to get them to change, and trust you? I'd think they'd be worth at least that much...But on the other hand, how much time do you invest in trying to change them?

You can't change anyone, they have to want to change themselves! If they are not willing to change why bother wasting your time!

 

[Shattered]

you wanna be in a relationship with an equal or your "patient" ?

Like I said.. I don't know.. Some people seem worth the effort, and some just don't.

 

[Shattered]

You can't change anyone, they have to want to change themselves! If they are not willing to change why bother wasting your time!

Didn't you just go through something similar? Why did you stick it out for so long?

 

[Said1]

Maybe because they don't know any better (yet), and you do.. I dunno. I'm a sucker for trying to help (some) people, tho. On the other hand, there's people I won't waste my time with.

You know, there is nothing wrong with helping a friend, and I'm a sucker for that too, but I learned my lesson a long time ago when it comes to boyfriends - it's too much effort, and very degrading. Even though he did change.

 

[dilloduck]

You can't change anyone, they have to want to change themselves! If they are not willing to change why bother wasting your time!

It's a good way to avoid dealing with yourself

 

[Trinity]

Didn't you just go through something similar? Why did you stick it out for so long?

That's a good question! One I ask myself all the time, In part I think because I thought I could change him, and part because of the kid's being so young. I finally hit a point when I said you know what, he is never going to change! I can either continue being miserable for the rest of my life, or get the hell out. I choose to get the hell out!

 

[Trinity]

It's a good way to avoid dealing with yourself

Explain please!

 

[Said1]

It's a good way to avoid dealing with yourself

I agree with that 100% in most cases. I wasn't really a lot better in many areas, just not as bad. Made me look wonderful.

 

[Shattered]

That's a good question! One I ask myself all the time, In part I think because I thought I could change him, and part because of the kid's being so young. I finally hit a point when I said you know what, he is never going to change! I can either continue being miserable for the rest of my life, or get the hell out. I choose to get the hell out!

But you gave him a chance, which is something you just said is a complete waste of time. The way I see it is, you still left with something positive when all was said and done.

So, was it worth it?

 

[Trinity]

But you gave him a chance, which is something you just said is a complete waste of time. The way I see it is, you still left with something positive when all was said and done.

So, was it worth it?

Your right I did give him a chance 15 years of chances, the only thing good that came from my marriage was my children, and I realized what it was that I was really looking for in a man and he was not it.


See I fell into the whole bad boy stigma when I met him I was 19, and of course then it was cool, at the age of 34 it is no longer cool, it's just silly! So yeah I guess I did leave with something positive I grew up!

 

[Trinity]

Am I making any sense? I have had about 4 hours of sleep, I worked last night. If not tell me to shut up, I'll come back and finish this when I can think more clearly.

 

[Shattered]

Your right I did give him a chance 15 years of chances, the only thing good that came from my marriage was my children, and I realized what it was that I was really looking for in a man and he was not it.


See I fell into the whole bad boy stigma when I met him I was 19, and of course then it was cool, at the age of 34 it is no longer cool, it's just silly! So yeah I guess I did leave with something positive I grew up!

So.. it gave you something that can't be taken away (your kids), and it taught you a few lessons you'll carry forward with you in life, AND you have the knowledge of knowing you gave it your best...

I'd say in spite of everything, that's a pretty positive outcome.

 

[Trigg]

The "mean girls" are highly liked by some and strongly disliked by others. They are socially skilled and popular but can be manipulative and subversive if necessary. They are feared as well as respected.



This is why I don't miss highschool or being a teenager. I'd love to drop a few years, but would never go back to that again. Kids in general can be cruel, but girls in highschool seem to perfect it.

My daughter in 3rd grade is going through this. One of the mean girls is considered popular even though most don't like her..go figure.

 

[Said1]

The "mean girls" are highly liked by some and strongly disliked by others. They are socially skilled and popular but can be manipulative and subversive if necessary. They are feared as well as respected.



This is why I don't miss highschool or being a teenager. I'd love to drop a few years, but would never go back to that again. Kids in general can be cruel, but girls in highschool seem to perfect it.

My daughter in 3rd grade is going through this. One of the mean girls is considered popular even though most don't like her..go figure.

I wouldn't go back to highschool either, even though I was probably one of the meanest!