Andylusion
Platinum Member
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- #81
There is a difference between "working outside the home" and spending their life on their career. I was reading about John Adams, the second president of the united states.
His wife did work outside the home. She bought land. Conducted business. But that never prevented her from being a wife. She still met the needs of her marriage.
I think if women spend their entire lives at work, and their marriage falls apart... that's on them. They are starving out their husbands, and their husbands will find some other woman that will meet their needs.
Now if a woman wants to have that high end all consuming career... I'm not against that. If they can balance that, and keep their marriage together, great. But for most men, if their wives are always at work, that is not a win. That's a fail.
And if they simply choose career over their marriage.... ok stay single. Stay alone. Women shouldn't get married, then pour their lives into a career, and then start crying the victim card, when their husband starved out, finds a prostitute or escort that meets their needs. That's their fault. Sorry. It is.
Oh, so women can work as long as you can control the type of work they do. And the guy bears no responsibility for anything. And she can run the household and raise the kids. You are adults. Fix it or get out.
I don't think I believe that. In fact, no I flat out deny that. Everyone has the opportunity. Everyone. Every single person, at any place in this country, and most of the world, has the opportunity.
No no no. I reject that. Especially today. You can get an escort in minutes today. Literally in minutes. You can meet people on facebook, you can download an app on your phone, that you can set a time and place to meet someone, in literally 10 minutes. I could meet up with someone, and have sex or a date, in 30 minutes.
If the only reason for affairs is opportunity, then every single man and woman on the planet wouldn't be faithful to anyone ever.
Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world. There is always opportunity. Being in a relationship is a choice. It's the beautiful thing about being an adult. Affairs are about opportunity. Men and women have forever been able to remain committed to their partners even when faced with opportunity the world over because they choose to.
Yeah, clearly this is an oppressive violation of human rights. Then stay single. Just stay single. If this is a big burden, why do you women get married at all? What did you think marriage was going to be like? Some Disney film?
I read a research survey where they found women who had the lowest expectations of marriage were routinely the happiest in marriage. The girls with these moronic Hollywood story book expectations, were routinely miserable in marriage.
Nobody said anything about an oppressive violation of human rights. What I said was these women are spending 1/2 hour with guy and they aren't responsible for anything or put up with anything.
Mine? How can you even attempt to make that claim?
I didn't force you to get a high stress job. I didn't force you to work.
So what you are saying is, it's the guys fault for marrying you? Here's a hint.... when he says "will you marry me" you respond "no".
Don't act like someone it's our fault that we had expectations.... when those expectations are universal. Every single man on this face of the planet, only marries for two basic reasons... sex and relational intimacy. More sex, but also having someone they can talk to and confide in.
Women throughout all the world, and all human history, have understood this.
It's not rocket science. If I'm the man, and I'm asking you to marry me.... why the heck would I do that? What possible reasons would I have to ask you to marry me? I want to have sex with you. I want to be close to you. "to have and to hold" isn't just random words they put in the vows.
But you don't want to give that, and you want to do your own thing, and then try and play off that somehow it is the man's fault? This is why prostitutes and escorts are becoming so popular. This is why people are going to other countries to find wives.
Just saying. Not trying to be insulting. Really. I promise I don't mean this to be confrontational. I'm just calling it as I see it.
Yep. It is your fault (as much as it is hers in this arena). If you cannot sit down and articulate what it is specifically that you want from your partner and you cannot manage to sit down and articulate what your major malfunction is in that relationship, then it is your fault.
There are many women that refuse to work outside the home and if you are one of those guys that needs economic control over your partner then find one of those chics and they will be more than happy to be your maid,your cook, your mother and your lover. You need to know what you want and you need to be able to verbalize those needs and wants to your partner or proposed partner.
It's kind of funny that you say women should maintain low expectations but you want your expectations recognized. Men and women get married for a variety of reasons and sometimes it has nothing to do with love.
Again, the primary article that I posed, these escorts are saying that these men would rather be with their wives. They don't WANT to be separated.... but they have a need... a need their wives are refusing to meet.
This isn't "I hate my wife and I want a divorce". That's not what any of the articles I posted was about, and these escorts are not saying their clients are indicating this.
In fact, one of the escorts said that men come to her, and talk about how they want their marriage to work. The problem is, the wive simply doesn't want to do what is required. They want the marriage, and the home, and the benefits of having a husband... but they don't want to meet his needs.
Reading through your post, it is hard to find any benefit to having a husband. In fact, there is no benefit at all. It sounds more like a prison sentence. It's all fun and games for someone outside of the relationship privy to one side of the relationship to discuss requirements for the other party.
Fix it or get out.
I'm confused why you are saying 'fix it or get out".
That's kind of been my point. Don't get married if you don't want to be a wife.
OR.... just accept that your husband is going to run around loving on women other than you.
If you are perfectly fine with your husband running off to talk with these escorts... ok. Great. I can't imagine how you'd be happy with that.... but ... it's one or the other. Sorry... just a messenger.
Yep. It is your fault (as much as it is hers in this arena). If you cannot sit down and articulate what it is specifically that you want from your partner and you cannot manage to sit down and articulate what your major malfunction is in that relationship, then it is your fault.
Again... this is baffling. The multiple articles I posted, and the comments by men to those articles.... clearly and specifically articulated what it is they wanted, and what was the malfunction.
A man needs physical and relational intimacy. That's what these escorts provide. That's what the men in these articles said they wanted. That is what the comments on those articles by men, indicated. that's what surveys of these men said they would rather be getting from their wives... but their wives were not willing.
So.... they got those needs met by women for hire. And these men loved on them, like they would have their wives given the chance. So... it's not their fault. They are making their needs clearly and obviously known. Honestly they should not need to, because women throughout history, and all over the world, know this automatically. (or culturally).
Reading through your post, it is hard to find any benefit to having a husband. In fact, there is no benefit at all. It sounds more like a prison sentence. It's all fun and games for someone outside of the relationship privy to one side of the relationship to discuss requirements for the other party.
Yeah, and all the couples I meet that actively live this way, are very happy.
Now if a women is not.... ok, just stay single. If you think being married and meeting the needs of your marriage is a prison sentence, why get married?
Because the other option is to get married, refuse to meet your husbands need, and he'll find someone who does. Will you be happy then? Then just stay single.
You keep saying fix it or get out... I agree! You need to fix this, or get out. Because if you don't fix it, and you don't stop getting married.... he's going to find someone who meets those needs.
I'm just telling it like it is. He is going to find someone who meets those needs. You have only two options. Just two. You can choose to be the person who meets those needs..... or you can choose to not be the person who meets those needs. If you choose not to, then there are three possible outcomes. A: You don't get married. B: You get married and accept he'll love other women than you. C: You get married and are miserable that he loves other women than you.
There is a chance you'll find someone who doesn't... but that would be the exception.