Does Paula Deen Really Have To Go On An Apology Tour?

[Unkotare]

Still happens today. When I was teaching my entire class was 40 something, mostly women who drank the cool aid and found a good man. Only he wasn't. We've still got a LOOONG way to go.

So every time a marriage ends - and women have the legal, political, social, and economic independence to do so at any time - that is somehow proof that they are brainwashed victims? Women overtaking men in enrollment and graduation from universities, earning more and more CEO and upper management positions as well as private business ownership is "paying the price"?

You're looking backward, baby. Women still have a number of legitimate concerns in today's society, but YOU are about ten miles off the mark.

I am not talking 'stats' here. I am talking having seen what I've seen working in psychiatry in two southern states, KY and TN. A woman who leaves a marriage and has children simply can't make it if the ex is a bum and/or has nothing to pay her in support. And I will qualify that by saying IF she is adverse to accepting public assistance. And IF she is not, having to accept public assistance is like death. I have a lawyer friend who divorced her husband after her children were grown, and she has struggled for 5 years. She never 'qualified' for any 'help' beyond getting a forbearance on her student loans.Everyone thinks lawyers are rich, but that's not always the case and the reason I didn't decide to become a 'baby lawyer' at 58.

Many women stay with an abusive husband 'for the sake of the children.' Some simply refuse to 'see' that the loser is sexually abusing one or all of the children because if she did she would have to leave the marriage. Sometimes it's because she loves the perp, but usually, it's about money. In those cases, I have had to report the situation to the state because the woman will not.

Generally, you are right, but there are still a lot of bad situations out there and a woman who has never had to support herself often finds herself emotionally immobilized when she is faced with it. I had worked for years right out of high school, but not at anything that paid, and I didn't get to go to college. When my husband was diagnosed with cancer, I have never experienced such terror in my life. I was a wreck. I alternated between the sorrow of losing my husband and high school sweetheart and debilitating fear. I had started back to school the year before because the children were in school, we had the money, and that was a gift from my husband. He spent many of his dying days telling me that, yes, I COULD raise the children on my own without him, giving me permission to remarry, move away, do whatever it would take to ensure the success of our little family. How horribly unfair that was to him. And yes, that was 30 years ago, but I have seen women over almost the entire 30 years in my practice who were in the very same spot. That kind of fear is universal.

I will have to say this, though, I have come to more fully respect the honorable men who try to live up to society's expectations. I do see why the cop outs cop out. (Not that I excuse it because I don't.) It's just fucking HARD!

You sound like you're trying to shake off the effects of a bad case of Dworkin-itis.

 

[Swagger]

The 'fuzz' is related to the justice/tolerance/sense of fair play of we the people. Do we get to interpret somebody else's meaning? For instance Zona doesn't think of or interpret "redneck" as Sunshine does. Because he doesn't see the term as perjorative and she does, who gets to set the definition?

I can accept Zona's definition of the word and it won't bother me if he uses it. If he uses it directed at Sunshine knowing how she feels about it and how she defines it, that is a different matter.

My whole problem with this whole thing is the demands of a few that everybody toe the line re what words we are and are not allowed to use, most especially when who gets to use a word is determined by skin color. That is not the way I want my America to be.

The very definition of redneck, makes it a racial term. One doesn't get to decide what is a racial slur and what is not.

Zona's ignorance does not change the meaning of the word. It is a slur, just as the n word is a slur, no matter how ignorant the person saying it is.

Well, as much as it amazes me that I am in the really REALLY uncomfortable position of defending Zona )), he and I are on the same page on that one. "Redneck" is a term I use fairly frequently, both in fun and as an affectionate term, and while I understand the racial connotations and origins of the term, that is not what I am thinking about when I use the term. I am thinking of the humorous side of some of the corny things we or our friends or family do that somebody like Jeff Foxworthy would have a ball with. And I sometimes think of it as rugged patriotism and individualism and love of country in ways that many now consider politically incorrect. In both cases, for me, it is a term of endearment.

I can see how Zona does not see it as a perjorative and I can accept that.

I can see how Sunshine or you do see it as a perjorative and I can respect that too.

The point is, who gets to decide what somebody means when they use a term like Redneck? Or use language in any other way, with perfectly innocent intent, that others hear as politically incorrect? And who gets to decide who gets a pass for committing a PC faux pas and who must be destroyed?

Those with the greatest audience: The media.