Do You Force Religion on Your Kids?

[liberalogic]

I've wanted to bring this point up for a while and get some views from others. Is it really fair to raise your child as a member of any one religion? I know that tradition is important to many families, but I've always thought that if you are religious, you should firmly believe-- not believe because your parents tell you to do so.

Now, it's true that once the kid turns 18, he/she has the choice to believe anything or nothing at all. But the truth of the matter is that by telling your kids to believe something (or to attend church, temple, mosque or wherever you go to worship), you are not giving them a choice.

I've come to the conclusion that parents shouldn't raise their kids to be members of any religion (Don't worry, this is my ethical opinion, I don't think it should be a law or anything) because they are indoctrinating them before they have the chance to fully understand it and place it in the context of the world in which we live.

For instance, I was brought up Roman Catholic (not devout or anything like that), but I did have the fear of God lurking around me in many things I did. As a matter of fact, I was kicked out of CCD (catholic school for those who go to public school) for asking how Mary was a Virgin if she had Jesus (I honestly didn't know the answer and was actually curious). My point is that there's a difference between being told to accept something and accepting it yourself...I think the latter of the two is more important and this can't be done (with regards to religion) until the child is older and able to truly grasp its magnitude.

 

[dmp]

It's the DUTY of parents to raise their kids up believing in the faith of the Parents. Nobody can 'force' somebody to believe anything anyway, thus the premise of your question is false.

 

[GotZoom]

I've wanted to bring this point up for a while and get some views from others. Is it really fair to raise your child as a member of any one religion? I know that tradition is important to many families, but I've always thought that if you are religious, you should firmly believe-- not believe because your parents tell you to do so.

Now, it's true that once the kid turns 18, he/she has the choice to believe anything or nothing at all. But the truth of the matter is that by telling your kids to believe something (or to attend church, temple, mosque or wherever you go to worship), you are not giving them a choice.

I've come to the conclusion that parents shouldn't raise their kids to be members of any religion (Don't worry, this is my ethical opinion, I don't think it should be a law or anything) because they are indoctrinating them before they have the chance to fully understand it and place it in the context of the world in which we live.

For instance, I was brought up Roman Catholic (not devout or anything like that), but I did have the fear of God lurking around me in many things I did. As a matter of fact, I was kicked out of CCD (catholic school for those who go to public school) for asking how Mary was a Virgin if she had Jesus (I honestly didn't know the answer and was actually curious). My point is that there's a difference between being told to accept something and accepting it yourself...I think the latter of the two is more important and this can't be done (with regards to religion) until the child is older and able to truly grasp its magnitude.

Religious people will almost always say yes. Non-believers will say no.

Good question..but let me ask you this.

If parents don't use good biblical philosphy in the upbringing of their child/children...what would they use?

If not God..then what and how?

 

[dilloduck]

I've wanted to bring this point up for a while and get some views from others. Is it really fair to raise your child as a member of any one religion? I know that tradition is important to many families, but I've always thought that if you are religious, you should firmly believe-- not believe because your parents tell you to do so.

Now, it's true that once the kid turns 18, he/she has the choice to believe anything or nothing at all. But the truth of the matter is that by telling your kids to believe something (or to attend church, temple, mosque or wherever you go to worship), you are not giving them a choice.

I've come to the conclusion that parents shouldn't raise their kids to be members of any religion (Don't worry, this is my ethical opinion, I don't think it should be a law or anything) because they are indoctrinating them before they have the chance to fully understand it and place it in the context of the world in which we live.

For instance, I was brought up Roman Catholic (not devout or anything like that), but I did have the fear of God lurking around me in many things I did. As a matter of fact, I was kicked out of CCD (catholic school for those who go to public school) for asking how Mary was a Virgin if she had Jesus (I honestly didn't know the answer and was actually curious). My point is that there's a difference between being told to accept something and accepting it yourself...I think the latter of the two is more important and this can't be done (with regards to religion) until the child is older and able to truly grasp its magnitude.

Do you think that parents should give children a variety of religious education?
Classes in all the religions ?

 

[Nienna]

Is it really fair to raise your child as a member of any one religion? I know that tradition is important to many families, but I've always thought that if you are religious, you should firmly believe-- not believe because your parents tell you to do so.

It is not only fair, but GOOD to raise your child with a set of beliefs. It gives them a starting point, a framework in which to understand their world.

Now, it's true that once the kid turns 18, he/she has the choice to believe anything or nothing at all. But the truth of the matter is that by telling your kids to believe something (or to attend church, temple, mosque or wherever you go to worship), you are not giving them a choice.

As Darin said, you cannot TAKE AWAY their choice. No matter what they are taught when young, they will (most often) mature to a point that they have to decide whether they want to break from tradition or follow it. Mind control is not a reality; no one can be FORCED to believe something.

I've come to the conclusion that parents shouldn't raise their kids to be members of any religion (Don't worry, this is my ethical opinion, I don't think it should be a law or anything) because they are indoctrinating them before they have the chance to fully understand it and place it in the context of the world in which we live.

Religion is good because it teaches the kids that there is something beyond themselves, whether they end up believing in the supernatural or not.

For instance, I was brought up Roman Catholic (not devout or anything like that), but I did have the fear of God lurking around me in many things I did. As a matter of fact, I was kicked out of CCD (catholic school for those who go to public school) for asking how Mary was a Virgin if she had Jesus (I honestly didn't know the answer and was actually curious).

Some people are oversensitive, and they misinterpret innocent questions as being insolent. Or maybe this teacher was just afraid to hit on the topic of sex, which would inevitably come up in a discussion on this topic. Just because SOME people don't know or won't discuss answers does not mean that ALL religion opposes inquiry.

My point is that there's a difference between being told to accept something and accepting it yourself...I think the latter of the two is more important and this can't be done (with regards to religion) until the child is older and able to truly grasp its magnitude.

Very true. But one cannot ignore the fact that children are learning the entire time they are growing. They do not wait for a magical point in maturity before they begin to wonder about things. I believe it is important to give kids a foundation or a framework, so that they have something upon which to base their judgment. The time ALWAYS comes (unless the child is mentally impaired) when they will seek independence and decide for themselves. If they are taught nothing, studies show that they will very likely believe in nothing.

 

[dilloduck]

It is not only fair, but GOOD to raise your child with a set of beliefs. It gives them a starting point, a framework in which to understand their world.


As Darin said, you cannot TAKE AWAY their choice. No matter what they are taught when young, they will (most often) mature to a point that they have to decide whether they want to break from tradition or follow it. Mind control is not a reality; no one can be FORCED to believe something.


Religion is good because it teaches the kids that there is something beyond themselves, whether they end up believing in the supernatural or not.


Some people are over sensitive, and they misinterpret innocent questions as being insolent. Or maybe this teacher was just afraid to hit on the topic of sex, which would inevitably come up in a discussion on this topic. Just because SOME people don't know or won't discuss answers does not mean that ALL religion opposes inquiry.

Very true. But one cannot ignore the fact that children are learning the entire time they are growing. They do not wait for a magical point in maturity before they begin to wonder about things. I believe it is important to give kids a foundation or a framework, so that they have something upon which to base their judgment. The time ALWAYS comes (unless the child is mentally impaired) when they will seek independence and decide for themselves. If they are taught nothing, studies show that they will very likely believe in nothing.

Nice job Mom

 

[Nienna]

Nice job Mom

Thank you, kind sir!

 

[dilloduck]

Thank you, kind sir!

Apparently liberalogic wasn't all that interested in an answer

 

[Nienna]

Apparently liberalogic wasn't all that interested in an answer

Is he West Coast? Maybe it was dinner time.

 

[Joz]

.....My point is that there's a difference between being told to accept something and accepting it yourself...I think the latter of the two is more important and this can't be done (with regards to religion) until the child is older and able to truly grasp its magnitude.

So are you suggesting we allow children to run helter-skelter until they can grasp religion? I'm assuming you mean a particular religion/denomination; or do mean religous teachings at all?

Most people stop maturing in religious development in the "rules" stage.
I have seen no problem in rearing my children the way I believe. But as adulthood is reached, they begin to have questions. That allows for growth, for both of us.

 

[dilloduck]

So are you suggesting we allow children to run helter-skelter until they can grasp religion?

Most people stop maturing in religious development in the "rules" stage.
I have seen no problem in rearing my children the way I believe. But as adulthood is reached, they begin to have questions. That allows for growth, for both of us.

I guess he's gonna get back with us on this one :cof:

 

[Said1]

Aside from all the good answers, I would like to add that parents, regardless of their religious beliefs do not exclude their children from what they believe. You call it force, I call it being a family unit, where everyone is included.

 

[Kagom]

Do you think that parents should give children a variety of religious education?
Classes in all the religions ?

I think not so much as classes as a bit of information about them. I'm planning on doing that when/if I have kids. I'm not forcing my own personal beliefs on them and I do want them to know they have a choice.

 

[liberalogic]

Actually I'm east coast and I've been writing a paper...

I like the question that GotZoom brought up about teaching children values. The truth is that you don't need a bible to tell a kid what is right from wrong. Can it help or be a method of instilling moral values in a child? Absolutely. But if the child is not being raised to believe in anything, the parent can easily use some of the values of all religions without putting them into a religious context. For example: "Don't kill" instead of "God said not to kill."

As for the other comments, I see how a child might need a starting point. At the same time, though, most people who believe in a specific faith were borned and raised that way and that's how they continued to worship. True, at a certain age many will question, but most will remain with their religion. My problem with that is that I don't see religion as something that you should believe in just because you were raised that way. You should believe in something because it makes sense to you. By determining a child's religion early on in life, little room is left to question and explore yourself. I feel it might be better for the parents to say, "Look, there might be something out there-- we don't know. We will leave it up to you to decide when you get older and when you can better make sense of it all."

 

[dmp]

The truth is that you don't need a bible to tell a kid what is right from wrong.

Untrue. People are inherently bad. It takes Faith in something bigger than themselves to coerce them into 'good' behaviour.

 

[dilloduck]

Actually I'm east coast and I've been writing a paper...

I like the question that GotZoom brought up about teaching children values. The truth is that you don't need a bible to tell a kid what is right from wrong. Can it help or be a method of instilling moral values in a child? Absolutely. But if the child is not being raised to believe in anything, the parent can easily use some of the values of all religions without putting them into a religious context. For example: "Don't kill" instead of "God said not to kill."

As for the other comments, I see how a child might need a starting point. At the same time, though, most people who believe in a specific faith were borned and raised that way and that's how they continued to worship. True, at a certain age many will question, but most will remain with their religion. My problem with that is that I don't see religion as something that you should believe in just because you were raised that way. You should believe in something because it makes sense to you. By determining a child's religion early on in life, little room is left to question and explore yourself. I feel it might be better for the parents to say, "Look, there might be something out there-- we don't know. We will leave it up to you to decide when you get older and when you can better make sense of it all."

Why do you underestimate the mind of a child? Did you not "escape" religion ?

 

[Joz]

... The truth is that you don't need a bible to tell a kid what is right from wrong. "

And where do you suppose 'right & wrong' came from?

 

[liberalogic]

Why do you underestimate the mind of a child? Did you not "escape" religion ?

I'm not underestimating the mind of a child. I'm saying that when shit is drilled into your head early on in life, it tends to stick with you. I remember debating the issue of gay adoption with you and part of the reason you were against it was because it doesn't show the children the "proper" roles of men and women. I think you brought up something to the effect of a boy growing up with two mothers won't have the influence of the father to see how he should behave. You're contadicting yourself because you mention the impact that that would have on a child (obviously you think it will influence him), so wouldn't being told to believe a religion have a lasting impact (regardless of whether you think it's good or bad) as well?

And yes, I did "escape." But many don't and many don't question it because that's what they were taught and they simply stick to it. Religion is too powerful to be instilled at such a young age when a child has no choice (due to his mental capacity) but to accept it.

And I'm sorry, but I don't believe this for a second: "People are inherently bad. It takes Faith in something bigger than themselves to coerce them into 'good' behaviour." I know plenty of atheists who are good people-- they didn't need the bible to tell them how to behave. Yes, there are evil people out there, but to blindly accept that we are ALL evil is quite an assumption to make. I never said the bible can't be used to instill morality, but it is not the only way. And also, many people have some moral standards that oppose the bible. For instance, I think people should be able to have premarital sex or masturbate for that matter. I think gays should be accepted. I don't think slavery should be condoned on any level. I think women are 100% equal to men. I value this and it all contradicts the bible. So I could argue that it shouldn't be used to show morality, but that's a totally different issue and does not pertain to the subject.

 

[Gunny]

Untrue. People are inherently bad. It takes Faith in something bigger than themselves to coerce them into 'good' behaviour.

Not sure "bad" is a good word. People are inherently ambivalent, seeking food, shelter, warmth -- survival. They are going to define "good" and "bad" by whatever means it takes to accomplish that goal.

People who say "you don't need God to teach right from wrong" ignore the fact that their entire belief system of what is right and wrong is based on Judeo-Christian law. Western society has evolved (or devolved, depending on your point of view) to the point that they say the words without remembering origin or meaning.

 

[dmp]

Not sure "bad" is a good word. People are inherently ambivalent, seeking food, shelter, warmth -- survival. They are going to define "good" and "bad" by whatever means it takes to accomplish that goal.

People who say "you don't need God to teach right from wrong" ignore the fact that their entire belief system of what is right and wrong is based on Judeo-Christian law. Western society has evolved (or devolved, depending on your point of view) to the point that they say the words without remembering origin or meaning.

Is lying 'bad'? My daughter lied for the first time because she thought it'd mean she didn't get a spankin' for (gasp!) something 'bad' she did