Do It Like a Girl

[Asclepias]

As the father of 3 girls I found out that telling my daughters to stop doing something like a girl made them mad so I stopped doing it. I didn't realize that it was an actual put down to them because society looks at girls as the weaker sex. I worked with them and told them they should be proud of being girls and that girls are much stronger in some of the areas men are weak in. What can we do to empower our girls to embrace being girls and not masculine females?

The puberty ad by Always you'll want to show all kids - CNN.com

 

[whitehall]

Maybe if you stopped dwelling on it the girls would grow up normally.

 

[JFK_USA]

I understand the idea of saying you're doing something "like a girl" is insulting. It portrays weakness. However, I doubt it's going to stop young boys from saying it to each other. They understand they are physically stronger than girls so in their developing brain, they see themselves as more superior to them.

While men grow, I feel like they never really lose that. So when they have a female challenge them, they feel threatened and emasculated. Some hide it better than others but I think most men have to try and overcome that.

It's tough and sometimes I don't realize that until later. But I don't think that insult will go away completely. Humans are always looking for a way to differentiate themselves from others. Sad reality of the world. However, that doesn't mean we as a society shouldn't try.

 

[hjmick]

Do it like Ronda Rousey...

 

[Mad Scientist]

I have two boys so I never encountered that "problem". Girls have a Uterus so why would anyone be surprised that they act and think differently?

When they hit Puberty they get all self conscious? This isn't a revelation, women have been acting this way forever. Because they're Women!

Women wanna' look pretty and get a guys attention. Guys wanna' achieve and get a girls attention. Why is it so hard for some to figger out the obvious?

Just look at what happens to people when they try to change what's natural. Accept who you are and just go with it.

 

[Asclepias]

Maybe if you stopped dwelling on it the girls would grow up normally.

What do you mean by normally?

 

[Delta4Embassy]

As the father of 3 girls I found out that telling my daughters to stop doing something like a girl made them mad so I stopped doing it. I didn't realize that it was an actual put down to them because society looks at girls as the weaker sex. I worked with them and told them they should be proud of being girls and that girls are much stronger in some of the areas men are weak in. What can we do to empower our girls to embrace being girls and not masculine females?

The puberty ad by Always you'll want to show all kids - CNN.com

Ban softball. Is there anythign more insulting than forcing girls to pitch underhand and use a larger ball?

 

[Disir]

As the father of 3 girls I found out that telling my daughters to stop doing something like a girl made them mad so I stopped doing it. I didn't realize that it was an actual put down to them because society looks at girls as the weaker sex. I worked with them and told them they should be proud of being girls and that girls are much stronger in some of the areas men are weak in. What can we do to empower our girls to embrace being girls and not masculine females?

The puberty ad by Always you'll want to show all kids - CNN.com

What's a masculine female?

 

[Esmeralda]

I think children should be raised without an preconcieved notions of what they "should" be like because of their gender, without assuming girls and boys think differently or are particularly different. Even strength: as they grow up, children develop at different paces. At the same age, some kids are twice as tall as other kids, for example. A girl can be bigger and stronger than a boy. Just let them grow up as they are and don't put labels on them regarding what they should be or shouldn't because of their gender.

 

[AquaAthena]

I think children should be raised without an preconcieved notions of what they "should" be like because of their gender, without assuming girls and boys think differently or are particularly different. Even strength: as they grow up, children develop at different paces. At the same age, some kids are twice as tall as other kids, for example. A girl can be bigger and stronger than a boy. Just let them grow up as they are and don't put labels on them regarding what they should be or shouldn't because of their gender.

I think the most important message to give any child, is to be proud of themselves. Teach them courage, teach them to do for others and let them know they can do anything they can dream. And "fall 7 times, get up 8." Be the best that you can be and love yourself.

Also for a parent or parents to remember: Example is not only the main thing; it is the only thing.

 

[Esmeralda]

I think children should be raised without an preconcieved notions of what they "should" be like because of their gender, without assuming girls and boys think differently or are particularly different. Even strength: as they grow up, children develop at different paces. At the same age, some kids are twice as tall as other kids, for example. A girl can be bigger and stronger than a boy. Just let them grow up as they are and don't put labels on them regarding what they should be or shouldn't because of their gender.

I think the most important message to give any child, is to be proud of themselves. Teach them courage, teach them to do for others and let them know they can do anything they can dream. And "fall 7 times, get up 8." Be the best that you can be and love yourself.

Also for a parent or parents to remember: Example is not only the main thing; it is the only thing.

Earlier this past year, I was talking to a young woman, a senior in high school. She's a pretty girl with long, naturally curly hair, is athletic and likes sports, and she is feminine looking. She was talking about what she wanted to do for the future, which is something related to mechanics. She is very good with electronic and mechanical things: she's thinking of working with automobiles, some kind of engineer possibly.

This led to a discussion that all of her life she's been described as a 'tomboy,' and her father regularly giving her a hard time because she didn't act enough like a girl. Also, some of her girl friends, as she grew up, said the same type of things. People telling her to have more interest in girly things didn't do any good: she still likes what she likes. All it did was cause her to question her value to her father and others and wonder why people didn't accept her as she was.

Point being that a child should be valued and accepted for who she/he is and not made to feel they are lacking if they don't display the standard interest in what we consider gender related behavior.

 

[Politico]

Maybe if you stopped dwelling on it the girls would grow up normally.

What do you mean by normally?

Meaning if they're acting like girls they are getting it right. Telling them not to is not normal.

 

[RosieS]

Empowerment and self-esteem is not something you give a girl. They are things girls need to earn in their OWN right.

Insist on effort. Insist that your girl strives to be best. Be sure she takes well-chosen risks. Encourage courage.

Do this and your girl will earn esteem for herself by what she accomplishes thru her own efforts.

Regards from Rosie

 

[BobPlumb]

Y'all are posting like a bunch of girls!

 

[oldfart]

As the father of 3 girls I found out that telling my daughters to stop doing something like a girl made them mad so I stopped doing it. I didn't realize that it was an actual put down to them because society looks at girls as the weaker sex. I worked with them and told them they should be proud of being girls and that girls are much stronger in some of the areas men are weak in. What can we do to empower our girls to embrace being girls and not masculine females?

The puberty ad by Always you'll want to show all kids - CNN.com

I have a brother, no sisters, sons, no daughters, and nephews, no nieces. So I was on fresh ground with a lesbian granddaughter. She was an obvious tomboy at age six and her sexual orientation became obvious at puberty. At thirteen I had the "guy talk" with her which is pretty much what I had with my sons and nephews. It included the need to develop characteristics like empathy, compassion, leadership, and self-worth. Assigning these attributes primarily based on gender is both a social norm and injurious to both boys and girls.

The biggest thing was the different dynamics between boy "gangs" and girl "gangs". My granddaughter had to learn the dynamics of guy groups and her social life improved rapidly. Girls stopped gossiping about her because she stopped being defensive. When some girls at school complained about her attire in the girl's bathroom, she got a few peel off stickers that said "lesbians only", slapped it on the door of the girl's bathroom when she went in, and removed it when she left. The gossips were incensed until their boyfriends defended her for showing "balls". She also hung out with guys a lot. Guy groups usually have a leader and everyone in them has a role. There is an enforcer, a clown, a geek, a scrounger, and so forth. Each has respect and support for the skill they bring to their role. More often than not, these groups contain at least one girl, who is a member, not a girlfriend. They often go out trying to pick up girls together. Now girls who hang out with guys don't have to be lesbian; they just have to find their role in the group, and it cannot be as a "girlfriend". There are plenty of role models, lesbian as well as straight, out there and people can pretend they do not exist as much as they want.

 

[Chuckt]

As the father of 3 girls I found out that telling my daughters to stop doing something like a girl made them mad so I stopped doing it. I didn't realize that it was an actual put down to them because society looks at girls as the weaker sex. I worked with them and told them they should be proud of being girls and that girls are much stronger in some of the areas men are weak in. What can we do to empower our girls to embrace being girls and not masculine females?

The puberty ad by Always you'll want to show all kids - CNN.com

What's a masculine female?

In elementary school, there were some girls who would play with the boys and kick the kickball square in the middle farther than the boys would and they were in their bare feet kicking the ball with their big toe which would hurt most people while most people kept their sneakers on. They are basically called tomboys.

 

[The Professor]

“The weaker sex is the stronger sex because of the weakness of the stronger sex for the weaker sex.”

From the Lebanon (PA) Daily News about 60 years ago.

 

[Lacy]

It's a mistake to try to force children into a box based on their gender. If all parents did that we would have no great male chefs or female athletes. People should be able to pursue their interests, whatever they may be, even if they don't fit neatly into traditional gender roles.

 

[Politico]

Speaking of boxing them in. Take a look at any video gem on this page.

extreme guide to parenting gender neutral - YouTube

And Bravo will be featuring one of these fucked up families on their Extreme Guide to Parenting show.

 

[Agit8r]

I've always tried to instill that their individuality is of more value than whatever category society want to assign them to. That is the great virtue of western civilization after all