Dick Cheney Vice Presidential Library Opens In Pitch-Dark, Sulfurous Underground Cave

Discussion in 'Political Satire' started by hazlnut, May 2, 2013.

  1. hazlnut
    Offline

    hazlnut Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2012
    Messages:
    12,114
    Thanks Received:
    1,894
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Location:
    Chicago
    Ratings:
    +6,312
    Dick Cheney Vice Presidential Library Opens In Pitch-Dark, Sulfurous Underground Cave

    According to officials, the subterranean library will permanently house the archived records and artifacts of Cheney’s vice presidency and will include more than 2.7 million photographs, thousands of razor-sharp stalactites, 4 million documents offering a legal basis for torture, scalding-hot green smoke wafting out of the cave walls, an original manuscript of the Patriot Act, hundreds of sick and hungry cave bears, and 15,000 audio recordings from Cheney’s private meetings.

    “The Cheney Museum offers a firsthand look at the life and work of our nation’s 46th vice president,” said head curator Jonathan Luddom, a 7-foot-tall blind cavern dweller with third-degree burns on his face and limbs. “From the Hall of Obfuscation, to the Pit of Yellowcake Uranium, to the interactive waterboarding exhibit for kids, this library is a stirring tribute to who Mr. Cheney is and what he believes in.”

    “Now I must go and search for food and moisture,” continued Luddom, moments before being devoured by a swarm of ravenous bats.



    [​IMG]
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  2. CrusaderFrank
    Online

    CrusaderFrank Diamond Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2009
    Messages:
    97,095
    Thanks Received:
    17,722
    Trophy Points:
    2,220
    Location:
    NYC
    Ratings:
    +60,536
    I was going to posrep you until I realized it was from The Onion
     
  3. TheOldSchool
    Offline

    TheOldSchool BANNED

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2012
    Messages:
    62,633
    Thanks Received:
    9,981
    Trophy Points:
    2,070
    Location:
    last stop for sanity before reaching the south
    Ratings:
    +43,064
    That's some funny shit! A 7 foot tall blind cavern dweller as curator? Hundreds of sick and hungry cave bears? :lol::lol::lol:
     
  4. bendog
    Offline

    bendog Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2013
    Messages:
    26,535
    Thanks Received:
    2,740
    Trophy Points:
    280
    Location:
    Dog House in back yard
    Ratings:
    +10,510
    the stuffed body of George's dog Spot, who was euthanized after suffering strokes, which we learn in the library were brought on by Cheney's waterboarding the poor beast on suspicion he stole the plans for submersible cells at gitmo.
     

Share This Page