Conservative Guide to Leaving the Country

[odanny]

For those who've never left, but cannot tolerate Dear Leader being gone:

1. Choose your destination.
You have several options. Head north and claim asylum in Canada where you’ll have an excellent selection of gas stations, moose jerky, and Shania Twain cover bands. To the south, you’ve got Mexico — balmy weather, but everything else, you won’t like. (Except for the carne asada.) Puerto Rico is further away than you think; you will not be able to drive your Chevy Tahoe there. If all else fails head to Alaska — a God-blessed red state and home of the deadliest catch, Sarah Palin. Do not — we repeat — do not go to Europe unless you want to see gay stuff.

The Conservativeâs Guide To Leaving The Country When Youâve Never Been Out Of The Country

Migration is nigh!

medium.com

 

[Meathead]

For those who've never left, but cannot tolerate Dear Leader being gone:

1. Choose your destination.
You have several options. Head north and claim asylum in Canada where you’ll have an excellent selection of gas stations, moose jerky, and Shania Twain cover bands. To the south, you’ve got Mexico — balmy weather, but everything else, you won’t like. (Except for the carne asada.) Puerto Rico is further away than you think; you will not be able to drive your Chevy Tahoe there. If all else fails head to Alaska — a God-blessed red state and home of the deadliest catch, Sarah Palin. Do not — we repeat — do not go to Europe unless you want to see gay stuff.

The Conservativeâs Guide To Leaving The Country When Youâve Never Been Out Of The Country

Migration is nigh!

medium.com

I am sure many would, but aren't Cher and Barbara Streisand up in Canada already? And actually, you see far less gay stuff in Europe, except Britain, than you do in the US. Far fewer raving queens anyway.

 

[AMart]

For those who've never left, but cannot tolerate Dear Leader being gone:

1. Choose your destination.
You have several options. Head north and claim asylum in Canada where you’ll have an excellent selection of gas stations, moose jerky, and Shania Twain cover bands. To the south, you’ve got Mexico — balmy weather, but everything else, you won’t like. (Except for the carne asada.) Puerto Rico is further away than you think; you will not be able to drive your Chevy Tahoe there. If all else fails head to Alaska — a God-blessed red state and home of the deadliest catch, Sarah Palin. Do not — we repeat — do not go to Europe unless you want to see gay stuff.

The Conservativeâs Guide To Leaving The Country When Youâve Never Been Out Of The Country

Migration is nigh!

medium.com

I am sure many would, but aren't Cher and Barbara Streisand up in Canada already? And actually, you see far less gay stuff in Europe, except Britain, than you do in the US. Far fewer raving queens anyway.

Hollyweird and the rest of them always say if Bush or Trump gets elected they are moving, usually to Canada. Why not Cuba or Venezuela? Better weather there.

 

[Uncensored2008]

Go to Northern Nevada, Arizona, Utah, and Idaho.

Make our stand then push to the sea and take Oregon and Washington. Then we have a new United States with the brains and ambition.

We must be careful though, the Reich will have cheap, unskilled labor from all the Mexicans who will be the majority, but we must not be seduced by the lure of the third world (as the Reich, the old USA will be) as a labor pool.

 

[Meathead]

For those who've never left, but cannot tolerate Dear Leader being gone:

1. Choose your destination.
You have several options. Head north and claim asylum in Canada where you’ll have an excellent selection of gas stations, moose jerky, and Shania Twain cover bands. To the south, you’ve got Mexico — balmy weather, but everything else, you won’t like. (Except for the carne asada.) Puerto Rico is further away than you think; you will not be able to drive your Chevy Tahoe there. If all else fails head to Alaska — a God-blessed red state and home of the deadliest catch, Sarah Palin. Do not — we repeat — do not go to Europe unless you want to see gay stuff.

The Conservativeâs Guide To Leaving The Country When Youâve Never Been Out Of The Country

Migration is nigh!

medium.com

I am sure many would, but aren't Cher and Barbara Streisand up in Canada already? And actually, you see far less gay stuff in Europe, except Britain, than you do in the US. Far fewer raving queens anyway.

Hollyweird and the rest of them always say if Bush or Trump gets elected they are moving, usually to Canada. Why not Cuba or Venezuela? Better weather there.

Because Cuba and Venezuela would take their money.

 

[Polishprince]

Depends on the part of Europe.

Sure Germany is quite queer, and has been for generations. General Patton, in his speech to the US forces in 1944, recognized the gaiety of the Germans.

"We're going to murder those lousy Hun cocksuckers by the bushel-fucking-basket. "

A man who sucks cock is gay by definition. And "Hun" was how Americans of Patton's day referred to Germans.

 

[petro]

For those who've never left, but cannot tolerate Dear Leader being gone:

1. Choose your destination.
You have several options. Head north and claim asylum in Canada where you’ll have an excellent selection of gas stations, moose jerky, and Shania Twain cover bands. To the south, you’ve got Mexico — balmy weather, but everything else, you won’t like. (Except for the carne asada.) Puerto Rico is further away than you think; you will not be able to drive your Chevy Tahoe there. If all else fails head to Alaska — a God-blessed red state and home of the deadliest catch, Sarah Palin. Do not — we repeat — do not go to Europe unless you want to see gay stuff.

The Conservativeâs Guide To Leaving The Country When Youâve Never Been Out Of The Country

Migration is nigh!

medium.com

If you consider this satire, it's time to put the drink down...

 

[odanny]

Depends on the part of Europe.

Sure Germany is quite queer, and has been for generations. General Patton, in his speech to the US forces in 1944, recognized the gaiety of the Germans.

"We're going to murder those lousy Hun cocksuckers by the bushel-fucking-basket. "

A man who sucks cock is gay by definition. And "Hun" was how Americans of Patton's day referred to Germans.

you sound like you know the rules pretty well.

 

[AMart]

Depends on the part of Europe.

Sure Germany is quite queer, and has been for generations. General Patton, in his speech to the US forces in 1944, recognized the gaiety of the Germans.

"We're going to murder those lousy Hun cocksuckers by the bushel-fucking-basket. "

A man who sucks cock is gay by definition. And "Hun" was how Americans of Patton's day referred to Germans.

Europeans move to the USA at a rate 3 times higher than Americans moving there.

 

[norwegen]

Yea, we'll all leave the country; we'll all move to Alaska.

Derp.

 

[Pogo]

For those who've never left, but cannot tolerate Dear Leader being gone:

1. Choose your destination.
You have several options. Head north and claim asylum in Canada where you’ll have an excellent selection of gas stations, moose jerky, and Shania Twain cover bands. To the south, you’ve got Mexico — balmy weather, but everything else, you won’t like. (Except for the carne asada.) Puerto Rico is further away than you think; you will not be able to drive your Chevy Tahoe there. If all else fails head to Alaska — a God-blessed red state and home of the deadliest catch, Sarah Palin. Do not — we repeat — do not go to Europe unless you want to see gay stuff.

The Conservativeâs Guide To Leaving The Country When Youâve Never Been Out Of The Country

Migration is nigh!

medium.com

How could you leave out the poutine, eh?

 

[Michigan Swampbuck]

To abandon your US citizenship, you will need a country that is ready to give you citizenship first. That means having experience in a career they like and lots of money. Then you have to pay off the US government to legally go through the process, a few grand I believe (might be wrong).

It's not easy and you still have to be a citizen of some country that will have you, you can't just be a citizen of the world without a country. Faking your death outside of the US would be a better route IMO.

 

[jbrownson0831]

For those who've never left, but cannot tolerate Dear Leader being gone:

1. Choose your destination.
You have several options. Head north and claim asylum in Canada where you’ll have an excellent selection of gas stations, moose jerky, and Shania Twain cover bands. To the south, you’ve got Mexico — balmy weather, but everything else, you won’t like. (Except for the carne asada.) Puerto Rico is further away than you think; you will not be able to drive your Chevy Tahoe there. If all else fails head to Alaska — a God-blessed red state and home of the deadliest catch, Sarah Palin. Do not — we repeat — do not go to Europe unless you want to see gay stuff.

The Conservativeâs Guide To Leaving The Country When Youâve Never Been Out Of The Country

Migration is nigh!

medium.com

I thought all you loonies promised to leave in 2016.....