Christianity explained

[Vandalshandle]

I suspect that somewhere in the Amazon jungle, there are still people who have not heard of Christianity. So, for all of you intrepid explorers out there, here is what to tell them.

The real god created everything in heaven and earth, including people. but god gets really pissed off about certain things that people do. He calls that, "sin". God loves us all very much, but if we commit sin, we get sent to an eternity of torture and suffering. It is not really his fault. He could have made us all without the ability or desire to sin, but he wanted us to have free will. Now, we don't really have free will, because god knows everything in advance, including who is going to spend eternity in hell, and who is not, but it makes him feel better not being the one to make that decision, even though he did.

Every now and then, god used to kill almost everyone, because of sin, but that was when he was a jew, and demanded that we kill animals to make him happy. Then, he decided that he hated sin so much, that he had a boy child by a virgin. She wasn't really a virgin, because the people who translated these events confused the word "virgin" with "unmarried woman", but once they made that mistake, they were pretty much stuck with it. Now, Jesus is no longer a jew, but a christian, and his son, Jesus, was the only man to ever live without sin, so god decided to have him tortured to death, to make up for all the people who pissed him off. Then, he whispered in some old guy's ear that if people believed in Jesus, they will never really die, even though they were pretty much dead. To prove that point, he had Jesus resurrect a dead man. Now, if you ever get to New Orleans, you will hear about Voo Doo, and zombies, but Christianity is not like that at all. it is ...... different. Anyway, when Jesus came to realize that it was his father's wish to be nailed to a wooden cross and tortured to death, he decided that the event warranted a big dinner party, in which he told his followers to eat bread and wine, which was actually his flesh and blood. Now, I know this sounds like Christians are cannibals, but they are not. Cannibals only eat people. Christians only eat the son of god, after he had been nailed to a cross and tortured to death. There is a difference. Anyway, Christians do this at least once a month.

So, you too can be a christian if you believe in Jesus and eat his flesh and blood, and do other stuff, depending on what Christian tribe you belong to. If so, you can live forever, even though you are dead.

Hopefully, that is clear enough for you!

 

[Ringel05]

I suspect that somewhere in the Amazon jungle, there are still people who have not heard of Christianity. So, for all of you intrepid explorers out there, here is what to tell them.

The real god created everything in heaven and earth, including people. but god gets really pissed off about certain things that people do. He calls that, "sin". God loves us all very much, but if we commit sin, we get sent to an eternity of torture and suffering. It is not really his fault. He could have made us all without the ability or desire to sin, but he wanted us to have free will. Now, we don't really have free will, because god knows everything in advance, including who is going to spend eternity in hell, and who is not, but it makes him feel better not being the one to make that decision, even though he did.

Every now and then, god used to kill almost everyone, because of sin, but that was when he was a jew, and demanded that we kill animals to make him happy. Then, he decided that he hated sin so much, that he had a boy child by a virgin. She wasn't really a virgin, because the people who translated these events confused the word "virgin" with "unmarried woman", but once they made that mistake, they were pretty much stuck with it. Now, Jesus is no longer a jew, but a christian, and his son, Jesus, was the only man to ever live without sin, so god decided to have him tortured to death, to make up for all the people who pissed him off. Then, he whispered in some old guy's ear that if people believed in Jesus, they will never really die, even though they were pretty much dead. To prove that point, he had Jesus resurrect a dead man. Now, if you ever get to New Orleans, you will hear about Voo Doo, and zombies, but Christianity is not like that at all. it is ...... different. Anyway, when Jesus came to realize that it was his father's wish to be nailed to a wooden cross and tortured to death, he decided that the event warranted a big dinner party, in which he told his followers to eat bread and wine, which was actually his flesh and blood. Now, I know this sounds like Christians are cannibals, but they are not. Cannibals only eat people. Christians only eat the son of god, after he had been nailed to a cross and tortured to death. There is a difference. Anyway, Christians do this at least once a month.

So, you too can be a christian if you believe in Jesus and eat his flesh and blood, and do other stuff, depending on what Christian tribe you belong to. If so, you can live forever, even though you are dead.

Hopefully, that is clear enough for you!

I see you're an expert in religious and cultural studies. Where'd you get your Masters? Burger King?

 

[jwoodie]

The overarching message of Christianity is the worth of the individual.

 

[C_Clayton_Jones]

The overarching message of Christianity is the worth of the individual.

A message indeed heard by very few Christians.

 

[Andylusion]

I suspect that somewhere in the Amazon jungle, there are still people who have not heard of Christianity. So, for all of you intrepid explorers out there, here is what to tell them.

The real god created everything in heaven and earth, including people. but god gets really pissed off about certain things that people do. He calls that, "sin". God loves us all very much, but if we commit sin, we get sent to an eternity of torture and suffering. It is not really his fault. He could have made us all without the ability or desire to sin, but he wanted us to have free will. Now, we don't really have free will, because god knows everything in advance, including who is going to spend eternity in hell, and who is not, but it makes him feel better not being the one to make that decision, even though he did.

Every now and then, god used to kill almost everyone, because of sin, but that was when he was a jew, and demanded that we kill animals to make him happy. Then, he decided that he hated sin so much, that he had a boy child by a virgin. She wasn't really a virgin, because the people who translated these events confused the word "virgin" with "unmarried woman", but once they made that mistake, they were pretty much stuck with it. Now, Jesus is no longer a jew, but a christian, and his son, Jesus, was the only man to ever live without sin, so god decided to have him tortured to death, to make up for all the people who pissed him off. Then, he whispered in some old guy's ear that if people believed in Jesus, they will never really die, even though they were pretty much dead. To prove that point, he had Jesus resurrect a dead man. Now, if you ever get to New Orleans, you will hear about Voo Doo, and zombies, but Christianity is not like that at all. it is ...... different. Anyway, when Jesus came to realize that it was his father's wish to be nailed to a wooden cross and tortured to death, he decided that the event warranted a big dinner party, in which he told his followers to eat bread and wine, which was actually his flesh and blood. Now, I know this sounds like Christians are cannibals, but they are not. Cannibals only eat people. Christians only eat the son of god, after he had been nailed to a cross and tortured to death. There is a difference. Anyway, Christians do this at least once a month.

So, you too can be a christian if you believe in Jesus and eat his flesh and blood, and do other stuff, depending on what Christian tribe you belong to. If so, you can live forever, even though you are dead.

Hopefully, that is clear enough for you!

I see you're an expert in religious and cultural studies. Where'd you get your Masters? Burger King?

As if he could actually get a degree... even from burger king.....

 

[Andylusion]

The overarching message of Christianity is the worth of the individual.

A message indeed heard by very few Christians.

I don't think I have met a Christian yet who didn't know that. Are you just judging people you don't know, because it's what you WANT to think of them?

 

[there4eyeM]

The important message is that the material is not what matters, at least not what matters most. Still, many cling to Christianity as somehow substantiating socio-economic systems that exploit lives in order to gain ephemeral, materialist advantage.

 

[Penelope]

I suspect that somewhere in the Amazon jungle, there are still people who have not heard of Christianity. So, for all of you intrepid explorers out there, here is what to tell them.

The real god created everything in heaven and earth, including people. but god gets really pissed off about certain things that people do. He calls that, "sin". God loves us all very much, but if we commit sin, we get sent to an eternity of torture and suffering. It is not really his fault. He could have made us all without the ability or desire to sin, but he wanted us to have free will. Now, we don't really have free will, because god knows everything in advance, including who is going to spend eternity in hell, and who is not, but it makes him feel better not being the one to make that decision, even though he did.

Every now and then, god used to kill almost everyone, because of sin, but that was when he was a jew, and demanded that we kill animals to make him happy. Then, he decided that he hated sin so much, that he had a boy child by a virgin. She wasn't really a virgin, because the people who translated these events confused the word "virgin" with "unmarried woman", but once they made that mistake, they were pretty much stuck with it. Now, Jesus is no longer a jew, but a christian, and his son, Jesus, was the only man to ever live without sin, so god decided to have him tortured to death, to make up for all the people who pissed him off. Then, he whispered in some old guy's ear that if people believed in Jesus, they will never really die, even though they were pretty much dead. To prove that point, he had Jesus resurrect a dead man. Now, if you ever get to New Orleans, you will hear about Voo Doo, and zombies, but Christianity is not like that at all. it is ...... different. Anyway, when Jesus came to realize that it was his father's wish to be nailed to a wooden cross and tortured to death, he decided that the event warranted a big dinner party, in which he told his followers to eat bread and wine, which was actually his flesh and blood. Now, I know this sounds like Christians are cannibals, but they are not. Cannibals only eat people. Christians only eat the son of god, after he had been nailed to a cross and tortured to death. There is a difference. Anyway, Christians do this at least once a month.

So, you too can be a christian if you believe in Jesus and eat his flesh and blood, and do other stuff, depending on what Christian tribe you belong to. If so, you can live forever, even though you are dead.

Hopefully, that is clear enough for you!

Never heard it summarized that way, but what you say is true, but the RCC offers communion every day, not just once a month and they have the real thing.

 

[there4eyeM]

Real 'thing'?
'God' is no 'thing'.

 

[Penelope]

Real 'thing'?
'God' is no 'thing'.

By the real thing I mean Holy Communion, Body of Christ and Wine.

 

[there4eyeM]

Real 'thing'?
'God' is no 'thing'.

By the real thing I mean Holy Communion, Body of Christ and Wine.

Materialist.
It isn't that the bread and wine are 'the body of Christ'. It is that Christ is everywhere, and all 'things', thus no 'thing'. To be 'the One', the 'One' must be all and everywhere, to the point where all is one.

 

[BULLDOG]

I suspect that somewhere in the Amazon jungle, there are still people who have not heard of Christianity. So, for all of you intrepid explorers out there, here is what to tell them.

The real god created everything in heaven and earth, including people. but god gets really pissed off about certain things that people do. He calls that, "sin". God loves us all very much, but if we commit sin, we get sent to an eternity of torture and suffering. It is not really his fault. He could have made us all without the ability or desire to sin, but he wanted us to have free will. Now, we don't really have free will, because god knows everything in advance, including who is going to spend eternity in hell, and who is not, but it makes him feel better not being the one to make that decision, even though he did.

Every now and then, god used to kill almost everyone, because of sin, but that was when he was a jew, and demanded that we kill animals to make him happy. Then, he decided that he hated sin so much, that he had a boy child by a virgin. She wasn't really a virgin, because the people who translated these events confused the word "virgin" with "unmarried woman", but once they made that mistake, they were pretty much stuck with it. Now, Jesus is no longer a jew, but a christian, and his son, Jesus, was the only man to ever live without sin, so god decided to have him tortured to death, to make up for all the people who pissed him off. Then, he whispered in some old guy's ear that if people believed in Jesus, they will never really die, even though they were pretty much dead. To prove that point, he had Jesus resurrect a dead man. Now, if you ever get to New Orleans, you will hear about Voo Doo, and zombies, but Christianity is not like that at all. it is ...... different. Anyway, when Jesus came to realize that it was his father's wish to be nailed to a wooden cross and tortured to death, he decided that the event warranted a big dinner party, in which he told his followers to eat bread and wine, which was actually his flesh and blood. Now, I know this sounds like Christians are cannibals, but they are not. Cannibals only eat people. Christians only eat the son of god, after he had been nailed to a cross and tortured to death. There is a difference. Anyway, Christians do this at least once a month.

So, you too can be a christian if you believe in Jesus and eat his flesh and blood, and do other stuff, depending on what Christian tribe you belong to. If so, you can live forever, even though you are dead.

Hopefully, that is clear enough for you!

Never heard it summarized that way, but what you say is true, but the RCC offers communion every day, not just once a month and they have the real thing.

Human meat?

 

[Penelope]

I suspect that somewhere in the Amazon jungle, there are still people who have not heard of Christianity. So, for all of you intrepid explorers out there, here is what to tell them.

The real god created everything in heaven and earth, including people. but god gets really pissed off about certain things that people do. He calls that, "sin". God loves us all very much, but if we commit sin, we get sent to an eternity of torture and suffering. It is not really his fault. He could have made us all without the ability or desire to sin, but he wanted us to have free will. Now, we don't really have free will, because god knows everything in advance, including who is going to spend eternity in hell, and who is not, but it makes him feel better not being the one to make that decision, even though he did.

Every now and then, god used to kill almost everyone, because of sin, but that was when he was a jew, and demanded that we kill animals to make him happy. Then, he decided that he hated sin so much, that he had a boy child by a virgin. She wasn't really a virgin, because the people who translated these events confused the word "virgin" with "unmarried woman", but once they made that mistake, they were pretty much stuck with it. Now, Jesus is no longer a jew, but a christian, and his son, Jesus, was the only man to ever live without sin, so god decided to have him tortured to death, to make up for all the people who pissed him off. Then, he whispered in some old guy's ear that if people believed in Jesus, they will never really die, even though they were pretty much dead. To prove that point, he had Jesus resurrect a dead man. Now, if you ever get to New Orleans, you will hear about Voo Doo, and zombies, but Christianity is not like that at all. it is ...... different. Anyway, when Jesus came to realize that it was his father's wish to be nailed to a wooden cross and tortured to death, he decided that the event warranted a big dinner party, in which he told his followers to eat bread and wine, which was actually his flesh and blood. Now, I know this sounds like Christians are cannibals, but they are not. Cannibals only eat people. Christians only eat the son of god, after he had been nailed to a cross and tortured to death. There is a difference. Anyway, Christians do this at least once a month.

So, you too can be a christian if you believe in Jesus and eat his flesh and blood, and do other stuff, depending on what Christian tribe you belong to. If so, you can live forever, even though you are dead.

Hopefully, that is clear enough for you!

Never heard it summarized that way, but what you say is true, but the RCC offers communion every day, not just once a month and they have the real thing.

Human meat?

Not really, they did really believe it due serratia marcescens, and many lost their life trying to save the hosts, but it's just a symbol of the body of Christ, blessed by a Priest.


Possible role in medieval miracles[edit]

"Bloody bread": S. marcescens growing on bread
Because of its red pigmentation, caused by expression of the pigment prodigiosin,[17] and its ability to grow on bread, S. marcescens has been evoked as a naturalistic explanation of medieval accounts of the "miraculous" appearance of blood on the Corporal of Bolsena.[17] This followed celebration of a Mass at Bolsena in 1263, led by a Bohemian priest who had doubts concerning transubstantiation, or the turning of bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ during the Mass. During the Mass, the Eucharist appeared to bleed and each time the priest wiped away the blood, more would appear.[17] This event is celebrated in a fresco in the Apostolic Palace in the Vatican City, painted by Raphael.[18]

Discovery[edit]
S. marcescens was discovered in 1819 by Venetian pharmacist Bartolomeo Bizio, as the cause of an episode of blood-red discoloration of polenta in the city of Padua.[

 

[frigidweirdo]

I suspect that somewhere in the Amazon jungle, there are still people who have not heard of Christianity. So, for all of you intrepid explorers out there, here is what to tell them.

The real god created everything in heaven and earth, including people. but god gets really pissed off about certain things that people do. He calls that, "sin". God loves us all very much, but if we commit sin, we get sent to an eternity of torture and suffering. It is not really his fault. He could have made us all without the ability or desire to sin, but he wanted us to have free will. Now, we don't really have free will, because god knows everything in advance, including who is going to spend eternity in hell, and who is not, but it makes him feel better not being the one to make that decision, even though he did.

Every now and then, god used to kill almost everyone, because of sin, but that was when he was a jew, and demanded that we kill animals to make him happy. Then, he decided that he hated sin so much, that he had a boy child by a virgin. She wasn't really a virgin, because the people who translated these events confused the word "virgin" with "unmarried woman", but once they made that mistake, they were pretty much stuck with it. Now, Jesus is no longer a jew, but a christian, and his son, Jesus, was the only man to ever live without sin, so god decided to have him tortured to death, to make up for all the people who pissed him off. Then, he whispered in some old guy's ear that if people believed in Jesus, they will never really die, even though they were pretty much dead. To prove that point, he had Jesus resurrect a dead man. Now, if you ever get to New Orleans, you will hear about Voo Doo, and zombies, but Christianity is not like that at all. it is ...... different. Anyway, when Jesus came to realize that it was his father's wish to be nailed to a wooden cross and tortured to death, he decided that the event warranted a big dinner party, in which he told his followers to eat bread and wine, which was actually his flesh and blood. Now, I know this sounds like Christians are cannibals, but they are not. Cannibals only eat people. Christians only eat the son of god, after he had been nailed to a cross and tortured to death. There is a difference. Anyway, Christians do this at least once a month.

So, you too can be a christian if you believe in Jesus and eat his flesh and blood, and do other stuff, depending on what Christian tribe you belong to. If so, you can live forever, even though you are dead.

Hopefully, that is clear enough for you!

Christianity explained.

Do whatever you like, and come Sunday turn up at church, give us some money and we'll tell you that you're still going to heaven.

Except if you're gay, fuck off, we don't want to know.

 

[Penelope]

Real 'thing'?
'God' is no 'thing'.

By the real thing I mean Holy Communion, Body of Christ and Wine.

Materialist.
It isn't that the bread and wine are 'the body of Christ'. It is that Christ is everywhere, and all 'things', thus no 'thing'. To be 'the One', the 'One' must be all and everywhere, to the point where all is one.

No they actually believed in transubstantiation, that the body of Christ was in the Eucharistic host after blessing by the Priest, Luther stated it was consubstantiation.

What Are Transubstantiation and Consubstantiation?

(see fundamentalists believe every word of the bible, but not that)

 

[there4eyeM]

Real 'thing'?
'God' is no 'thing'.

By the real thing I mean Holy Communion, Body of Christ and Wine.

Materialist.
It isn't that the bread and wine are 'the body of Christ'. It is that Christ is everywhere, and all 'things', thus no 'thing'. To be 'the One', the 'One' must be all and everywhere, to the point where all is one.

No they actually believed in transubstantiation, that the body of Christ was in the Eucharistic host after blessing by the Priest, Luther stated it was consubstantiation.

What Are Transubstantiation and Consubstantiation?

(see fundamentalists believe every word of the bible, but not that)

Yes, we know what is supposedly believed. That doesn't respond to the post.

 

[hobelim]

Real 'thing'?
'God' is no 'thing'.

By the real thing I mean Holy Communion, Body of Christ and Wine.

"I have not come to bring peace but a sword."

"Take from my hand this cup of fiery wine and make all the nations to whom I send you drink it. When they have drunk it they will vomit and go mad; such is the sword that I am sending among them."

 

[there4eyeM]

Nothing would make the powers that be in the 'world' go madder than their populations rejecting the reign of materialism.

 

[Crepitus]

The overarching message of Christianity is the worth of the individual.

Sure, that's why preists are sometimes referred to as shepherds and the congregation is a flock.

Because sheep are well known individualists.

Makes perfect sense, right?

 

[norwegen]

I suspect that somewhere in the Amazon jungle, there are still people who have not heard of Christianity. So, for all of you intrepid explorers out there, here is what to tell them.

The real god created everything in heaven and earth, including people. but god gets really pissed off about certain things that people do. He calls that, "sin". God loves us all very much, but if we commit sin, we get sent to an eternity of torture and suffering. It is not really his fault. He could have made us all without the ability or desire to sin, but he wanted us to have free will. Now, we don't really have free will, because god knows everything in advance, including who is going to spend eternity in hell, and who is not, but it makes him feel better not being the one to make that decision, even though he did.

Every now and then, god used to kill almost everyone, because of sin, but that was when he was a jew, and demanded that we kill animals to make him happy. Then, he decided that he hated sin so much, that he had a boy child by a virgin. She wasn't really a virgin, because the people who translated these events confused the word "virgin" with "unmarried woman", but once they made that mistake, they were pretty much stuck with it. Now, Jesus is no longer a jew, but a christian, and his son, Jesus, was the only man to ever live without sin, so god decided to have him tortured to death, to make up for all the people who pissed him off. Then, he whispered in some old guy's ear that if people believed in Jesus, they will never really die, even though they were pretty much dead. To prove that point, he had Jesus resurrect a dead man. Now, if you ever get to New Orleans, you will hear about Voo Doo, and zombies, but Christianity is not like that at all. it is ...... different. Anyway, when Jesus came to realize that it was his father's wish to be nailed to a wooden cross and tortured to death, he decided that the event warranted a big dinner party, in which he told his followers to eat bread and wine, which was actually his flesh and blood. Now, I know this sounds like Christians are cannibals, but they are not. Cannibals only eat people. Christians only eat the son of god, after he had been nailed to a cross and tortured to death. There is a difference. Anyway, Christians do this at least once a month.

So, you too can be a christian if you believe in Jesus and eat his flesh and blood, and do other stuff, depending on what Christian tribe you belong to. If so, you can live forever, even though you are dead.

Hopefully, that is clear enough for you!

Tradition should not explain Christianity. Scripture should.