Child Support is unfair

[High_Gravity]

As a person with no children in the home, why would he NEED a big house? He just NEEDS shelter. That's Politico's stance...at least with regard to mom. A woman would have shelter regardless of whether her children are with her, so they should all be happy with shelter for one person..I imagine that goes for dad, too. He has no "need" of a private residence, he just "needs" shelter...so long as he has that, all his money should go directly to the kids.

And no, he shouldn't be paying for haircuts either. He doesn't *need* haircuts.

I'm not saying the guy needs a big house but he at least needs a residence an apartment or something to take the kid to for visits, kind of hard to do on a couch or a homeless shelter.

 

[koshergrl]

Lol..yes I agree.

I promise you, the majority of men who pay their child support are not living in homeless shelters. That's just a fantasy spun by men who don't want to, or actually don't, pay child support.

 

[Borillar]

Someone, I think it was HG, said $300 a month was a fair amount for child support.

WTF?

That's 3,600 a year. You can't care for yourself on that. That doesn't even come close to poverty level heights.

Is that child support taxable? and no it's not nearly enough.

So what is enough? should the man just hand over his whole paycheck?

Might as well... We're just treated as wallets anyway.

 

[koshergrl]

No, you view yourselves as wallets. You can't conceptualize the value of providing support to a household where your children are spending the majority of their time, if you are not in it as well.

 

[Borillar]

We have a perfectly equitable system. Mom meets old boyfriend, decides grass is greener on the other side. Decides to leave dad. Everything is split evenly down the middle. Mom gets house, dad gets payments. Mom gets car, dad gets payments. Mom gets kids, dad gets payments. Mom gets diamond mine, dad gets shaft. If dad doesn't like this turn of events, he's a deadbeat.

 

[Avatar4321]

I understand all that but what good can a father be to the child if he hands over all the cash to the ex and sleeps on a friends couch?

I can't answer that. That's something he needs to figure out with alot of planning and prayer.

 

[Meister]

Keep it civil in this forum, please

 

[Luissa]

We have a perfectly equitable system. Mom meets old boyfriend, decides grass is greener on the other side. Decides to leave dad. Everything is split evenly down the middle. Mom gets house, dad gets payments. Mom gets car, dad gets payments. Mom gets kids, dad gets payments. Mom gets diamond mine, dad gets shaft. If dad doesn't like this turn of events, he's a deadbeat.

Yes, because that is usually what happens.

 

[Avatar4321]

Is that child support taxable? and no it's not nearly enough.

So what is enough? should the man just hand over his whole paycheck?

Might as well... We're just treated as wallets anyway.

If you dont want to be just a wallet, Step up and take responsibility for your children.

 

[Soggy in NOLA]

I am in no way defending the irresponisbility of men who lack the fortitude to take care of their own responsibility as an adult, but I firmly believe any system that awards someone with money ought to be tracked. I'm not sure about you guys but I meet far too many men with no representation regarding child support and the issues they face regarding money. How is it that the state can track EBT payments but not child support? I personally believe the system is unfair towards responsible men and are soft on irresponsible women....What say ye?

If they were to do so, then they'd be accused of starting a war on women. Actually, here in Louisiana, you can bring an action against a parent for misuse of child support... but it is a tough nut to crack. You'd better have pretty damning evidence or it's going to be dismissed. Or worse, it could be ordered that the parent just isn't receiving enough, that's why the kids aren't being taken care of properly.

 

[Soggy in NOLA]

I have a buddy who's ex was a raging alcoholic and drug abuser.. he still couldn't get custody... only when she committed suicide did he gain custody.

Damn shame, all the way around.

 

[Aristotle]

Let me get personal

I am neither married.nor divorced nor have kids.

I am a college student and I work. Both are my priorities right now, not women.

But when I decide to deal with women on the sexual tip, I use Magnum XL condoms so please whoever is the individual that names themselves after halakhic law, cut your bullshit.

To the women that constantly bring up their experiences with deadbeat men, four words: that's your fucking fault. Alas need I remind you women it takes two. Unless he raped you, you decided to open up the nasty snatch and get preggo. Please don't give me that shit about men using condoms. First off contraceptive responsibility is a two way street.

Women: "Oh he should've used a rubber then he wouldnt be in this mess."

Aristotle: No bitch you shouldn't put your legs on his shoulders and let him penetrate you. Or how about taking a depo shot. Or how about abstaining from sex to make sure he is the right one.

Please spare me the shit about men should've used a condom. Because judging by some of the complaints hete, its your fault you decide to have a kid by an irresppnsible.

As for this college student with a huge penis and self control, excuse me while I laugh at you women complaining about your dealings with your kids.

For the record I do understand what its like for single motherhood, I was a product of one. I know what its like when a man abandons his responsibility. I was apart of that. One thing I learned from my mom was that she didnt bitch and moan and she worked her ass off to have sustainable income. My mother knew that her bad choices with men put her in that emotional situation but she arose from the ashes only to come out on top. She also understood that its more important for a man to be in his kids life than his money. As you can see there are plenty of men who pay their child support like a car note but dont take time to see their kids.

But on an ending note to you women bringing up your child support experiences I have two words: HA HA. Stop picking up men at bars.

Again, the bulk of child support issues is in the context of divorce, where the parents made a decision and commitment to have and raise children together as a married couple.

Well that remains to be seen and if you havw statistics to back this claim up I am interested in seeing it.

The issue is that the states get a cut of the child support provided by a parent or both parents. The state sees children as items than human beings. Which is why paying cash and keeping receipts is not sufficient in family court. Any money has to go to the state and the state dispurses it. If a man goes deliquent on child support, he goes deliquent on the state not the child. Even if the man is providing the necessary aid for their child. Simply put, a man taking care of his child without the mediation.of the court is not going to offshoot any/or deliquency he mY have because the state didn't get its cut.

 

[High_Gravity]

I have a buddy who's ex was a raging alcoholic and drug abuser.. he still couldn't get custody... only when she committed suicide did he gain custody.

Damn shame, all the way around.

Thats usually the only way, that or if the female gets incarcerated.

 

[koshergrl]

Let me get personal

I am neither married.nor divorced nor have kids.

I am a college student and I work. Both are my priorities right now, not women.

But when I decide to deal with women on the sexual tip, I use Magnum XL condoms so please whoever is the individual that names themselves after halakhic law, cut your bullshit.

To the women that constantly bring up their experiences with deadbeat men, four words: that's your fucking fault. Alas need I remind you women it takes two. Unless he raped you, you decided to open up the nasty snatch and get preggo. Please don't give me that shit about men using condoms. First off contraceptive responsibility is a two way street.

Women: "Oh he should've used a rubber then he wouldnt be in this mess."

Aristotle: No bitch you shouldn't put your legs on his shoulders and let him penetrate you. Or how about taking a depo shot. Or how about abstaining from sex to make sure he is the right one.

Please spare me the shit about men should've used a condom. Because judging by some of the complaints hete, its your fault you decide to have a kid by an irresppnsible.

As for this college student with a huge penis and self control, excuse me while I laugh at you women complaining about your dealings with your kids.

For the record I do understand what its like for single motherhood, I was a product of one. I know what its like when a man abandons his responsibility. I was apart of that. One thing I learned from my mom was that she didnt bitch and moan and she worked her ass off to have sustainable income. My mother knew that her bad choices with men put her in that emotional situation but she arose from the ashes only to come out on top. She also understood that its more important for a man to be in his kids life than his money. As you can see there are plenty of men who pay their child support like a car note but dont take time to see their kids.

But on an ending note to you women bringing up your child support experiences I have two words: HA HA. Stop picking up men at bars.

Again, the bulk of child support issues is in the context of divorce, where the parents made a decision and commitment to have and raise children together as a married couple.

Well that remains to be seen and if you havw statistics to back this claim up I am interested in seeing it.

The issue is that the states get a cut of the child support provided by a parent or both parents. The state sees children as items than human beings. Which is why paying cash and keeping receipts is not sufficient in family court. Any money has to go to the state and the state dispurses it. If a man goes deliquent on child support, he goes deliquent on the state not the child. Even if the man is providing the necessary aid for their child. Simply put, a man taking care of his child without the mediation.of the court is not going to offshoot any/or deliquency he mY have because the state didn't get its cut.

Everything you just wrote there is demonstrably false.

 

[Aristotle]

I am in no way defending the irresponisbility of men who lack the fortitude to take care of their own responsibility as an adult, but I firmly believe any system that awards someone with money ought to be tracked. I'm not sure about you guys but I meet far too many men with no representation regarding child support and the issues they face regarding money. How is it that the state can track EBT payments but not child support? I personally believe the system is unfair towards responsible men and are soft on irresponsible women....What say ye?

If they were to do so, then they'd be accused of starting a war on women. Actually, here in Louisiana, you can bring an action against a parent for misuse of child support... but it is a tough nut to crack. You'd better have pretty damning evidence or it's going to be dismissed. Or worse, it could be ordered that the parent just isn't receiving enough, that's why the kids aren't being taken care of properly.

I don't see how its a war on women.

I don't see what wrong if I am paying child support in addition to joint custody that I want to know how my money is spent. There are many couples with nasty breakups and unfortunately the children ultimately suffer. Not every woman is responsible and unfortunately many are vindictive. Using the money on themselves.

I have a social worker friend who works for DCSS (Dept. Of Children Social Services) who tells me that especially in the urban areas, many females use child support to support their drug habits, or are buying clothing for themselves. These girls eventually get their children taken away because the child is malnourished.

I spoke to her recently regarding.my thoughts and she actually think making child support payment in the form of a card in theory is a good idea, but depending on the state it would require more money and in some states budgets are low.

I don't see how my theory is against women.

If a woman is awarded sole custody and is to receive child support what is wrong with giving her a card like a drbit card where she buys: food, clothing, helps pay for rent, utilities and upon request a man can find out through the court what items are being bought. I also believe this can readdure the parent paying child support that the other is spending the money responsibly avoiding unnecessary court battles on "what ifs"

This in my opinion works for both the man and the woman. Best freggin theory in my opinion

 

[Aristotle]

Again, the bulk of child support issues is in the context of divorce, where the parents made a decision and commitment to have and raise children together as a married couple.

Well that remains to be seen and if you havw statistics to back this claim up I am interested in seeing it.

The issue is that the states get a cut of the child support provided by a parent or both parents. The state sees children as items than human beings. Which is why paying cash and keeping receipts is not sufficient in family court. Any money has to go to the state and the state dispurses it. If a man goes deliquent on child support, he goes deliquent on the state not the child. Even if the man is providing the necessary aid for their child. Simply put, a man taking care of his child without the mediation.of the court is not going to offshoot any/or deliquency he mY have because the state didn't get its cut.

Everything you just wrote there is demonstrably false.

Show me. The state of California does take a portion of child support can you show me where me saying that is false. Please present proof

 

[jillian]

Well with the rate of single mothers mostly young, I believe control is what's needed.

Why 'single mothers'? Why 'young?'' You are talking about divorce, not paternity.

Eh, I don't think my intent was to focus on divorce per say, but if that is what's being implied I apologize for the confusion.

As far as single mothers they are the most common in the U.S as far as having babies out of wedlock and are the most common recipients of state/federal mandated assistance programs.

so the women are responsible because the man didn't use protection or because the protection failed?

seems like a joint endeavor.

 

[Aristotle]

Hey look what I found

Read the Shorter Answer section....I found this by accident

Child support and Kickbacks

 

[jillian]

Let me get personal

I am neither married.nor divorced nor have kids.

I am a college student and I work. Both are my priorities right now, not women.

But when I decide to deal with women on the sexual tip, I use Magnum XL condoms so please whoever is the individual that names themselves after halakhic law, cut your bullshit.

To the women that constantly bring up their experiences with deadbeat men, four words: that's your fucking fault. Alas need I remind you women it takes two. Unless he raped you, you decided to open up the nasty snatch and get preggo. Please don't give me that shit about men using condoms. First off contraceptive responsibility is a two way street.

Women: "Oh he should've used a rubber then he wouldnt be in this mess."

Aristotle: No bitch you shouldn't put your legs on his shoulders and let him penetrate you. Or how about taking a depo shot. Or how about abstaining from sex to make sure he is the right one.

Please spare me the shit about men should've used a condom. Because judging by some of the complaints hete, its your fault you decide to have a kid by an irresppnsible.

As for this college student with a huge penis and self control, excuse me while I laugh at you women complaining about your dealings with your kids.

For the record I do understand what its like for single motherhood, I was a product of one. I know what its like when a man abandons his responsibility. I was apart of that. One thing I learned from my mom was that she didnt bitch and moan and she worked her ass off to have sustainable income. My mother knew that her bad choices with men put her in that emotional situation but she arose from the ashes only to come out on top. She also understood that its more important for a man to be in his kids life than his money. As you can see there are plenty of men who pay their child support like a car note but dont take time to see their kids.

But on an ending note to you women bringing up your child support experiences I have two words: HA HA. Stop picking up men at bars.

Again, the bulk of child support issues is in the context of divorce, where the parents made a decision and commitment to have and raise children together as a married couple.

Well that remains to be seen and if you havw statistics to back this claim up I am interested in seeing it.

The issue is that the states get a cut of the child support provided by a parent or both parents. The state sees children as items than human beings. Which is why paying cash and keeping receipts is not sufficient in family court. Any money has to go to the state and the state dispurses it. If a man goes deliquent on child support, he goes deliquent on the state not the child. Even if the man is providing the necessary aid for their child. Simply put, a man taking care of his child without the mediation.of the court is not going to offshoot any/or deliquency he mY have because the state didn't get its cut.

not that i've ever heard of. do you mean social services liens when the mother is collecting assistance?

 

[Aristotle]

Why 'single mothers'? Why 'young?'' You are talking about divorce, not paternity.

Eh, I don't think my intent was to focus on divorce per say, but if that is what's being implied I apologize for the confusion.

As far as single mothers they are the most common in the U.S as far as having babies out of wedlock and are the most common recipients of state/federal mandated assistance programs.

so the women are responsible because the man didn't use protection or because the protection failed?

seems like a joint endeavor.

Did you read what I wrote? I am saying child support is unfair because there is one-sided regulation. Has nothing to do with punoshing women or blaming women. Its about regulating both sides. Not all women are responsible parents and therefore since this is a fact why not regulate both the payer and the spender?