- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
- 85
Does it seem that the traffic-obsessive features/qualities of the modern world create a demand for 'romanticized' pedestrian folklore about dogma-apologetic justice?
What do you think?
What would President Trump say/think?
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"Everyone was present at the Oscars to celebrate achievements in cinema and even fashion! This was the modern world (TrumpUSA), and it was one of commerce, media, consumerism, and entertainment, and it was wired worldwide. This was all very exciting..."
"However, two masked vigilantes named Bruce and Kim were busy prowling the city streets on Oscar night chasing a demonic new urban terrorist who went by the name Sandman. Bruce and Kim fashioned vigilante-costumed modelled after the DC Comics characters Batman and Catwoman. Batman/Catwoman believed that Sandman had the express purpose to spread terror through bizarre crime and wanted to stop him before he ruined Oscar night. Batman and Catwoman were America's best chance at media confetti on Oscar night."
"Sandman's real named was Jerome Valeska, and he was a first-generation descendant of an immigrant clan from Europe. He had red hair and a hideous scarred face. Jerome called himself Sandman, since he kept little bags of sand which he used to throw sand into the eyes and face of LAPD officers. Batman and Catwoman knew Sandman was a very unusual modern urban menace and immediately arrested him when they found the ghoul lurking around MGM Studios theme park and brought him to the LAPD station where Sandman was quickly catalogued (on Oscar night!) as the 25th most dangerous urban criminal in the city(!)."
"After Sandman was arrested, Oscar night proceeded very smoothly and Batman and Catwoman were awarded a special city-medal by the L.A. mayor. However, just 6 months later, a series of eerie murders were committed all over the beaches of southern California. All of the victims of these eerie crimes were found with sand covering their heads/faces. Apparently, these killers wanted to deify Sandman's anti-civics 'work' by lauding the use of sand for mischievous purposes. Cops in beaches were mobilized to track down these 'Sandman groupies/copycats'."
"When Batman and Catwoman heard of these bizarre Sandman-praise crimes and headlines, the two celebrated (if eccentric) vigilantes decided to post an editorial in the L.A. Gazette about the wisdom of southern California beach-cops being required to wear safety-goggles to prevent sand from getting in their eyes while they patrolled the beaches for security(!). The LAPD loved this editorial and had the mayor purchase new safety-goggles/sunglasses for beach-cops, which infuriated the incarcerated Sandman who was already reading these new beach-crimes and laughing in glee. Batman/Catwoman once again saved the day!"
"Our work is not easy, but it's necessary. We want to ensure Americans and the good beach-goers of California and lovers of Hollywood entertainment that the deeds of maniacs in the modern city will not perturb America's general/social love of pageantry and traffic. Civics control is the key feature of TrumpUSA, and we want people to know that we were honoured to serve California/America as 'demagoguery patriots'." -Batman/Catwoman (Press Statement, LA Times!)
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What do you think?
What would President Trump say/think?
====
"Everyone was present at the Oscars to celebrate achievements in cinema and even fashion! This was the modern world (TrumpUSA), and it was one of commerce, media, consumerism, and entertainment, and it was wired worldwide. This was all very exciting..."
"However, two masked vigilantes named Bruce and Kim were busy prowling the city streets on Oscar night chasing a demonic new urban terrorist who went by the name Sandman. Bruce and Kim fashioned vigilante-costumed modelled after the DC Comics characters Batman and Catwoman. Batman/Catwoman believed that Sandman had the express purpose to spread terror through bizarre crime and wanted to stop him before he ruined Oscar night. Batman and Catwoman were America's best chance at media confetti on Oscar night."
"Sandman's real named was Jerome Valeska, and he was a first-generation descendant of an immigrant clan from Europe. He had red hair and a hideous scarred face. Jerome called himself Sandman, since he kept little bags of sand which he used to throw sand into the eyes and face of LAPD officers. Batman and Catwoman knew Sandman was a very unusual modern urban menace and immediately arrested him when they found the ghoul lurking around MGM Studios theme park and brought him to the LAPD station where Sandman was quickly catalogued (on Oscar night!) as the 25th most dangerous urban criminal in the city(!)."
"After Sandman was arrested, Oscar night proceeded very smoothly and Batman and Catwoman were awarded a special city-medal by the L.A. mayor. However, just 6 months later, a series of eerie murders were committed all over the beaches of southern California. All of the victims of these eerie crimes were found with sand covering their heads/faces. Apparently, these killers wanted to deify Sandman's anti-civics 'work' by lauding the use of sand for mischievous purposes. Cops in beaches were mobilized to track down these 'Sandman groupies/copycats'."
"When Batman and Catwoman heard of these bizarre Sandman-praise crimes and headlines, the two celebrated (if eccentric) vigilantes decided to post an editorial in the L.A. Gazette about the wisdom of southern California beach-cops being required to wear safety-goggles to prevent sand from getting in their eyes while they patrolled the beaches for security(!). The LAPD loved this editorial and had the mayor purchase new safety-goggles/sunglasses for beach-cops, which infuriated the incarcerated Sandman who was already reading these new beach-crimes and laughing in glee. Batman/Catwoman once again saved the day!"
"Our work is not easy, but it's necessary. We want to ensure Americans and the good beach-goers of California and lovers of Hollywood entertainment that the deeds of maniacs in the modern city will not perturb America's general/social love of pageantry and traffic. Civics control is the key feature of TrumpUSA, and we want people to know that we were honoured to serve California/America as 'demagoguery patriots'." -Batman/Catwoman (Press Statement, LA Times!)
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