Awful childish ones

[Hossfly]

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like, night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

 

[CremeBrulee]

What do you call a fish without eyes?

fsh

 

[browsing deer]

Two statues graced a park, a boy statue and a girl statue reaching out for on another.

one day an angel saw them and granted them life for an hour to do whatever they wanted. They grinned, and hid behind some bushes and soon there was the sound of two young people enjoying themselves. They emerged happily and got back on their plinths.

The angel, seeing how much fun they had, said she would grant them another hour. The statues were overjoyed, and as they went back to the bushes the girl statue said



" This is great, but....

this time you hold the pigeon down while I crap on its head!"

 

[Auld Phart]

"I used to have a dog with no nose"

"Really? How did he smell?"

"Terrible"

 

[Bonzi]

 

[browsing deer]

Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate.

So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk. I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They looked so lifelike you wouldn't believe! They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.

But to my surprise, cars started slowing down looking at my lifelike men. And of course, traffic started backing up. Everybody was tooting their horns and waving like crazy.
It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me. He got out of his car and started walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!

"What's going on here?'

'My car has a flat tire,' I said calmly.

'Well, what the heck are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?'

I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him,

'Hell000000, those are my emergency flashers!'

 

[browsing deer]

There is a tavern near the docks. And resting on the counter of the tavern there is a large glass jar of coins. And the jar is very large. One day a man comes into the tavern and ask 'What is the story behind the jar?' The tavern owner explains that anyone who wishes to try and complete three tasks makes a contribution of three doxies to the jar. If he does all three tasks, he gets the jar. The man asks 'What are the three tasks? and the owner tells him he must beat up the largest man in the room, pull the bad tooth of the ferocious bear baiting dog in the back, then he must satisfy the tavern keepers insatiable but horribly ugly wife. The visitor thinks for a moment, drops coins into the jar, and then steps up the the biggest man in the room and knocks him cold in three quick strikes. Then he marches into the back, and soon you hear this piteous howl from the dog. Then he comes back into the main room of the tavern and says 'Well, that is done. Now I need a pair of pliers, and where is the ugly woman who needs her tooth pulled?

 

[Bonzi]

 

[Bonzi]

 

[Bonzi]

 

[Bonzi]

 

[strollingbones]

o hush will....

you know why dolly parton has small feet?

nothing grows in the shade

 

[strollingbones]

i do not know why but this one makes me laugh out loud ......

two fish are swimming down the river....one bumps his head on a brick and says 'dam'

 

[Bonzi]

What do you call a fish without eyes?

fsh

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

Dam!

 

[Bonzi]

too funny! ... I guess Cremebrulee's post made us think of the same joke!

 

[strollingbones]

actually you thought of the correct joke.....lol

 

[Bonzi]

me and my boys when they were young would laugh hysterically at these... easily amused bunch that we were!