Athletic Testimony: American Psychics

Abishai100

VIP Member
Sep 22, 2013
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Does this modern age of media and marketing offer any optimism and playful storytelling?

This yarn was inspired by the idealistic sports-culture film Jerry Maguire (Tom Cruise).



:1peleas:

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A 30 year-old minor-league American ice hockey player named Rafi was trying to advance to the Boston Bruins team but found he was passionately 'wed' to his minor-league team. Rafi was an old-school player who loved the spirit of competition, the adventure of sport, and the elegance and simplicity of ice-hockey. Rafi was about to become an offbeat 'superhero.'

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As a merchant began distributing team trading-cards for Rafi's minor-league ice-hockey team, his small town outside Boston started gaining newfound fanfare. Suddenly, everyone loved Rafi, the team's captain and top-scorer, and his team, the Thunder Bay Bombers, were considered the top minor-league ice-hockey team in America. Rafi was surely going to be recruited by the Boston Bruins the following year.

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A video-game designer decided to make a simple iPhone video-game app modeled and named after the Thunder Bay Bombers and its sudden small town fanfare. Rafi made national headlines, and TIME magazine wrote, "Maybe Rafi is the modern Quasimodo and may bring back small-town values back to sports and media, and we love that Bombers iPhone video-game!" Rafi played the video-game on his iPhone himself. It was great fun.

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However, something went horribly wrong. A deranged Algerian-American psycho named Aziz decided to begin stalking women in Rafi's small town and exploit the newfound fanfare and tourism traffic so the press would deflate all this small-town values glory. You see, Aziz was a real maniac, a modern-day Satan, and he'd stalk women who walked to their parked cars alone after watching a Bombers game featuring a great score by Rafi. Aziz killed a dozen women in just two months, and the FBI declared Rafi's small town a crisis area. Aziz slit the women's throats with a knife and wore a hockey-mask and simply left them laying there to bleed to death.

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aAziz was creating such a fright, that Rafi realized he had to do something. Since Rafi was reported to be a 'fair-skinned Muslim,' Rafi knew he wouldn't be immediately 'recognized' as a Muslim, so he could easily 'blend into' the mostly-Caucasian small town that Rafi's Bombers played. Rafi also realized that since Aziz wore a menacing hockey-mask that he might believe himself to be some 'prophetic copycat' of the fictional hockey-mask wearing American horror-film monster-zombie Jason Voorhees, from the Friday the 13th series of horror-films.

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Rafi decided to don a Magneto (Marvel Comics) costume and patrol the parking lots of a handful of Bombers games he conspicuously sat out of, complaining of odd injuries, somehow 'psychically-perceiving' that the killer Aziz would want to stalk/kill women who went to Bombers games that actually did not feature Rafi scoring. Rafi was right, and when he approached the hockey-mask wearing Aziz, the psycho asked him why he was dressed like a 'comic book superhero,' and Rafi 'replied' by drawing out a kids' toy-set hockey stick and using it to swipe Aziz's legs from under him and then pinned him to the ground before calling the police on his mobile-phone. Rafi was declared a small-town 'superhero.'

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The newspapers declared Rafi to be a new age 'Captain America,' or perhaps 'Magneto' himself! However, his Bombers were angry he sat out of too many games complaining of odd injuries. Rafi did not regret his decision, but it cost him the chance to be recruited by the Boston Bruins who had subtly perceived that the small-town hero Rafi would opt to simply remain with the Bombers for the duration of his ice-hockey 'career.' The Bruins were correct, and Rafi mounted the hockey-stick from the kids' toy-set which he used to tackle the psychotic hockey-mask wearing Aziz. This was simply 'good enough' for the small-town minded Rafi. What an odd story!

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As ticket sales for the Boston Bruins (NHL) soared the following season, Rafi simply watched the games from home on his TV with his mom and brother. Rafi continued to play for the Thunder Bay Bombers before retiring 10 years later. He decided to write a series of memoirs for the local gazette about what it was like to be a 'small-town' hero rather than a big-time NHL star. Rafi was considered a modern-day miracle, in a time when celebrity was simply more glamorous than small-town values. Kids loved and celebrated Rafi. However, Rafi secretly continued to watch Bruins games on TV and sometimes parked outside the Bruins stadium before major games just to daydream!

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A local biographer decided to pen a life-story of the unusual hero Rafi. The biographer suggested that Rafi's odd story reminded Americans of old-time folk-heroes who were titans of community values and society leadership, when America was not so darn commercially/industrially 'developed.' The biographer also suggested that Rafi was perhaps a psychic, since he seemed to intimate the psychopath Aziz's moves and intentions and predicted where and when to find him --- during games when Rafi was conspicuously absent. Perhaps it was a new age fairy-tale in the end...

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TRUMP: I love this small-town hero, Rafi!
CARTER: He's a real miracle, Mr. President...
TRUMP: They should make a movie about him.
CARTER: There're already trading-cards featuring Rafi.
TRUMP: Oh yes, my son (Trump, Jr.) has one of those.
CARTER: Is it a Thunder Day Bombers card?
TRUMP: Indeed it is, Carter.
CARTER: Rafi is arguably the opposite of Babe Ruth.
TRUMP: I see what you mean; he's a 'small-town legend.'
CARTER: Both Rafi and the Babe remind Americans of values!
TRUMP: Values are essential in this age of media, Carter.
CARTER: Let's go watch Youngblood on Netflix.
TRUMP: That sounds like a plan...


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:5_1_12024:
 

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