Anyone here part of an interfaith relationship?

[stoor]

I am not talking about Methodist with a Baptist or an Orthodox with a Progressive, I am talking about a Muslim with a non-Muslim or Christian with a a non-Christian. If so, what are your thoughts and any advice? Thanks.

 

[Joz]

I wrote a really nice response, tho' a bit long. Instead......
I've known quite a few who have been in such relationships, Christian w/non-Christian. I never felt more alone than when I was at church without my mate.
I would say that the odds are for you if you chose someone with the same belief system you have; God, morals, child rearing, work ethic. But then, what do I know?

 

[Mariner]

I am Hindu. We had two wedding ceremonies on consecutive days. My parents sat through the Christian ceremony respectfully, and hers sat through the Hindu one equally respectfully, though less comfortably, since sitting cross-legged didn't come easily to them. Her brother somehow located the required large number of marigolds for the Indian ceremony.

We talked, and agreed that she could take our child(ren) to church or Sunday school as she wished, as long as she didn't mind any amount of Hindu input they got from me. Indians are open-minded about religion--they'll take any excuse to celebrate God. I tend to attend Mass with her on the major holidays. One of the best we ever attended was in New Delhi, with several thousand people, at least half of them not actually Christian, celebrated Christmas. The music was a tiny Indian harmonium, the tent decorated with Xmas lights, and the spirit pure joy.

I think that it can work fine as long as there's no religious intolerance in either spouse's viewpoint. It's when someone thinks his/her religion is better than someone else's that troubles ensue--both in marriage and among nations.

Mariner.

 

[dilloduck]

It's great that you two are tolerant of each other--does your wife feel threatened when the ACLU tries to persecute her expression of Christianity but supports Hinduism as an expression of diversity?

 

[Said1]

My ex is protestant, and I'm Catholic. This didn't pose any problems since neither of us are strident church goers ect. His mother on the other hand (who never goes to church either!) used to make the snidest rudest remarks about catholics - sometimes I wanted to punch her (well, most of the time I wanted to punch her, nothing new there I guess). Her ignorance towards me, and lack of knowledge about her own supposed faith was unbelievable.

 

[musicman]

I guess I'm in an interfaith relationship. I believe I'm always right. That's because I believe I'm smart. Also, I believe I should always get my way.

Joz, alas, believes differently.

 

[Said1]

I guess I'm in an interfaith relationship. I believe I'm always right. That's because I believe I'm smart. Also, I believe I should always get my way.

Joz, alas, believes differently.

Some people are just so closed minded. I have the same problem.

 

[musicman]

Some people are just so closed minded. I have the same problem.

LOL! Pepole who think they know everything are so annoying to those of us who actually DO!

 

[Said1]

LOL! Pepole who think they know everything are so annoying to those of us who actually DO!

When I was 12, I had a shirt that said that - seriously.

 

[musicman]

When I was 12, I had a shirt that said that - seriously.

Hey, if it makes it's way to a t-shirt, it's GOTTA be true!

 

[Said1]

Hey, if it makes it's way to a t-shirt, it's GOTTA be true!

Yes, and it's still hold water today! Although the shirt didn't make it.

 

[musicman]

Yes, and it's still hold water today! Although the shirt didn't make it.

One of my all-time favorites:

"Eat shit - 5 billion flies can't be wrong!"

Maybe not the best thing to post in the religion section - sorry, all.

 

[Said1]

One of my all-time favorites:

"Eat shit - 5 billion flies can't be wrong!"

Maybe not the best thing to post in the religion section - sorry, all.

That's one to remember!

 

[Mariner]

My wife strongly supports the separation of church and state. As a Catholic, she knows all too well that this separation originated in discrimination against Catholics by Protestants (major Supreme Court case, mid-20th century, can't remember its name offhand). The wall was not erected to benefit Hindus; we're just lucky beneficiaries--or rather, I should say that the U.S. is the lucky beneficiary. Our religious tolerance is one reason we're able to continue to attract the brightest science and engineering talent from around the world. Half of my cousin's MIT Electrical Engineering graduate school class was foreign-born, primarily Indian. Without the continuous input of hundreds of thousands of bright people, U.S. science and industry would grind to a halt. Our own colleges graduate fewer than half the doctoral candidates we need in the sciences/engineering/math/etc.

Indians are the most successful immigrant group in the history of the United States (median income ~$70K). Without a warm acceptance of diversity, the U.S. would be less attractive to these and other necessary immigrants. The lead article in an Indian newspaper I read this morning concerned an Indian being beaten by a white American who was angry about terrorism. Last month's lead article was the same type of story, about a Sikh being mistaken for a Muslim terrorist. That kind of news plays big in India. Not what you guys should want, if you want the U.S. to remain #1 in technology.

Mariner.

 

[dilloduck]

My wife strongly supports the separation of church and state. As a Catholic, she knows all too well that this separation originated in discrimination against Catholics by Protestants (major Supreme Court case, mid-20th century, can't remember its name offhand). The wall was not erected to benefit Hindus; we're just lucky beneficiaries--or rather, I should say that the U.S. is the lucky beneficiary. Our religious tolerance is one reason we're able to continue to attract the brightest science and engineering talent from around the world. Half of my cousin's MIT Electrical Engineering graduate school class was foreign-born, primarily Indian. Without the continuous input of hundreds of thousands of bright people, U.S. science and industry would grind to a halt. Our own colleges graduate fewer than half the doctoral candidates we need in the sciences/engineering/math/etc.

Indians are the most successful immigrant group in the history of the United States (median income ~$70K). Without a warm acceptance of diversity, the U.S. would be less attractive to these and other necessary immigrants. The lead article in an Indian newspaper I read this morning concerned an Indian being beaten by a white American who was angry about terrorism. Last month's lead article was the same type of story, about a Sikh being mistaken for a Muslim terrorist. That kind of news plays big in India. Not what you guys should want, if you want the U.S. to remain #1 in technology.

Mariner.

I wonder how all of our schools got so good before affirmative action even took effect ?

 

[stoor]

Christian but is more agnostic presently. I consider myself a progressive Muslim in that I don't have a problem with anyone follows the Abrahamic ethics of submitting to God and respecting the idea of humanity (yes, I do have a problems with some "Muslims"). I have friends of many faiths and I always told her that I would never tell our children that Christianity or any other religion was wrong, I would tell them that Islam is right for me and my family. I have never told her to convert and I never would. She is learning more about the Islamic faith but I don't know if she will accept the faith, I hope she will. To me she already has but she still doesn't know enough to make an informed decision. I am just worried that my children will see one person that is a Muslim and the other is knowledgeable of Islam but isn't a Muslim and will get confused. Am I overreacting?

 

[dilloduck]

Christian but is more agnostic presently. I consider myself a progressive Muslim in that I don't have a problem with anyone follows the Abrahamic ethics of submitting to God and respecting the idea of humanity (yes, I do have a problems with some "Muslims"). I have friends of many faiths and I always told her that I would never tell our children that Christianity or any other religion was wrong, I would tell them that Islam is right for me and my family. I have never told her to convert and I never would. She is learning more about the Islamic faith but I don't know if she will accept the faith, I hope she will. To me she already has but she still doesn't know enough to make an informed decision. I am just worried that my children will see one person that is a Muslim and the other is knowledgeable of Islam but isn't a Muslim and will get confused. Am I overreacting?

NO I think you a very wise to be concerned about your children BEFORE they arrive but be prepared for changes AFTER they are born. Many parents have come to what they thought to be iron-clad and bilateral decisions about children only to have them shattered after the birth of a child arouses strong emotions that both parents thought they would be able to compromise.
It is normal for kids to be confused as they grow and come in contact with their environment. It's YOUR job to help them understand . If you and your wife are clear about about your religious situation, then I'm sure you will be able to clear up their confusion for them. Have you agreed on a religion to raise them in?

 

[Mariner]

In reference to your question about schools--U.S. universities have always been superb. The K-12 system seems all about compromise, to me: on the one hand, kids are far freer here to explore their own interests and develop their own paths. I believe this stimulates creativity and extraordinary accomplishments for some people. On the other hand, basic skills are far weaker here: when I arrived at a private school in New York, I immediately skipped a grade, but still felt that I was far ahead in the 3 R's compared with my peers in England. Overall, I rather like the freedom here. But if foreign countries stopped sending so many great students (29 of the 30 top students in my cousin's top engineering school in Delhi came to America), the U.S. would have to buckle down on math and science skills for everyone.

Mariner.

 

[Joz]

I guess I'm in an interfaith relationship. I believe I'm always right. That's because I believe I'm smart. Also, I believe I should always get my way.

Joz, alas, believes differently.

I still hold fast that I think it is important for a couple to have the same belief system. It doesn't have to be exact. But I still think that belief in God vs Atheism is not a good foundation. A person who does not believe in abortion is not going to be able to unite with a person who does. There will always be contention between a man who believes a woman should help support the family & woman who wants to be a stay-at-home mom.

So, with that said, are you saying our relationship is doomed because I don't see things your way? Nothing is a sure thing. But I do know this. There is a God. And you're not it.

 

[Patriot]

I still hold fast that I think it is important for a couple to have the same belief system. It doesn't have to be exact. But I still think that belief in God vs Atheism is not a good foundation. A person who does not believe in abortion is not going to be able to unite with a person who does. There will always be contention between a man who believes a woman should help support the family & woman who wants to be a stay-at-home mom.

So, with that said, are you saying our relationship is doomed because I don't see things your way? Nothing is a sure thing. But I do know this. There is a God. And you're not it.

I agree with everything you say. Although I accidently slip up and NOT call out my husbands name in the throes of passion and accidentally call him God instead. HAHAHAHA