Ack! Colonoscopy next tuesday for me.

[April]

Ok Gracie...I just seen the issue with the insurance...still, you should not have been made to go through that.

 

[Gracie]

Ok and alrighty then!!!! Children, BEHAVE.

I am home. I am gassy but otherwise...just fine. Was I asleep? HAYELL NO. They just gave me a bit of demerol. Did it hurt? You but your ass (well, MY ass) it hurt. I was in a semi la la land but it was a concsious one. The rail on the bed is bent now because that is what I was holding on to for dear life. It felt like childbirth, but in my butt area. Cramps you wouldn't believe....then 3 pairs of hands pushing my guts this way and that and more drilling and air pumped and I am ARRRRRGGGGing like crazy and they are all saying "almost done! Hang in there! Almost done!".
The guard rail is now bent towards the center of the table because the demerol made my wrist joints stop hurting enough to bend the fuck out of it as they tortured my colon.
I remember most of it but not all. The cramping is what probably zapped me out of my supposed dream state. It was not fun. I also remember between the "get ready, hon, almost done but have a short way to go yet" that I began to chant Ohm Mah Knee Pawd May Hum over and over and one of the nurses bending over me was whispering to the others "omg. She is speaking in tongues". I still had enough brain cells firing to briefly think about sitting up and pointing at all of them with the Hex Evil Eye sign while chanting, just to see what would happen but I didn't because the doc is from India and he knew what I was saying..and why. I heard him snort in my right ear after the nurse said that.
Next thing I knew...I was told I was all done and hubby was waiting for me. And farting a lot. And leaking a bit.

Never was told what was found, if anything. Nobody said if any polyps were located or removed. Nothing. So..I guess I have to call him in a day or so to ask him what he saw while in there.

Will I ever do this again? NO. Was the prep worse than the procedure....actually, yes.

Unbelievable Gracie! Who the hell is your doc, and his staff? You should have went through it PAIN FREE..period. Every colonoscopy I have (twice a year) I get the 'twilight cocktail' and am off to Wonderland for the duration. You are the first I have heard of having a bad experience....is this insurance related, perhaps? Could it be they gave you the 'discount' colonoscopy because your insurance decided you'd do 'fine' without normal sedation?
I am angry for you, Gracie...if I were you, I would look into it and find out why the hell they put you through that!

Medi-Cal, hon. Poor Peoples Insurance. When I hit 65, they will take the Medi-Cal away and i will go on Medicare.

 

[Gracie]

Nobody that had colonoscopies today got anything different than what I got. And there were at least 6 of us. I watched people leave that just had it done..most were just stoic looking but none were upset.
At least it is done and Iknow I will NEVER have another one. Ever. And not because I felt it. Mostly because the prep stage is more awful.

 

[Gracie]

When I left...there were 2 people in the waiting room. I looked at them and said "you will feel every inch".

 

[April]

When I left...there were 2 people in the waiting room. I looked at them and said "you will feel every inch".

Yer bad!

 

[Gracie]

When I left...there were 2 people in the waiting room. I looked at them and said "you will feel every inch".

Yer bad!

I wanted them to not walk in there under false pretenses. It sucked.

 

[Vandalshandle]

Ok and alrighty then!!!! Children, BEHAVE.

I am home. I am gassy but otherwise...just fine. Was I asleep? HAYELL NO. They just gave me a bit of demerol. Did it hurt? You but your ass (well, MY ass) it hurt. I was in a semi la la land but it was a concsious one. The rail on the bed is bent now because that is what I was holding on to for dear life. It felt like childbirth, but in my butt area. Cramps you wouldn't believe....then 3 pairs of hands pushing my guts this way and that and more drilling and air pumped and I am ARRRRRGGGGing like crazy and they are all saying "almost done! Hang in there! Almost done!".
The guard rail is now bent towards the center of the table because the demerol made my wrist joints stop hurting enough to bend the fuck out of it as they tortured my colon.
I remember most of it but not all. The cramping is what probably zapped me out of my supposed dream state. It was not fun. I also remember between the "get ready, hon, almost done but have a short way to go yet" that I began to chant Ohm Mah Knee Pawd May Hum over and over and one of the nurses bending over me was whispering to the others "omg. She is speaking in tongues". I still had enough brain cells firing to briefly think about sitting up and pointing at all of them with the Hex Evil Eye sign while chanting, just to see what would happen but I didn't because the doc is from India and he knew what I was saying..and why. I heard him snort in my right ear after the nurse said that.
Next thing I knew...I was told I was all done and hubby was waiting for me. And farting a lot. And leaking a bit.

Never was told what was found, if anything. Nobody said if any polyps were located or removed. Nothing. So..I guess I have to call him in a day or so to ask him what he saw while in there.

Will I ever do this again? NO. Was the prep worse than the procedure....actually, yes.

Told ya so. You heard it from me, first, on the first page of this thread.... I've had three, and they told me every time that I would not remember a thing, or feel discomfort. Every time, though I was given the anesthesia, I was 100% aware of every second of the procedure. The last time, I begged the anesthesiaologist to increase the dosage. He refused.

However, it still beats the alternative that my next door neighbor experieinced when she died of colon cancer for failure to have a colonoscopy done.

 

[Unkotare]

Ok, here's one for ya. History of Colon Cancer in the fam. First colonoscopy was before the age of 35. Drink the shit, take the shit, do the shit, etc. My family has a history of tolerance for sedatives as well, so I told 'em to load me up to the max, which they did. Ok. Did they find something? Yes, they did. Big-ass polyp. Ok, cut it out, test it, all that. Fine. Funny thing though, I seemed to be 'passing' alarming amounts of blood every time I went to the can with the newspaper. One day, two days, a lot of this going on. Made a call and was met with a rather panicked request that I return right away. This meant RIGHT AWAY. No time to drink a load of nasty so we had to go old school in clearing the runway. Oh yeah, right there in the can the public used in the waiting room. Oh yeah, like that. Check blood volume, oh yeah, red zone. They just jabbed me in the arm with Elephant Tranq and got to it. Napalmed the inside of my colon, kept me out for a few more hours (until I might not be in a mood to kill someone) and off we go. IV-ed me a few more quarts of 'Don't Think About It Juice,' pushed me out the front door in a wheel chair and that was that. That was the first one, and two.

 

[mudwhistle]

I don't like the idea.

I have serious issues with finger-waves as well.

 

[April]

I don't like the idea.

I have serious issues with finger-waves as well.

Both a digital exam, and a colonoscopy can be life saving, Muddy...

 

[mudwhistle]

Doc gave me a stool sample kit to take home.

"Go ahead and follow the instructions and send it in when you're ready."

I started reading the instructions and it said "Don't eat any meat for 3 days before you take the sample.......blahblahblahblah.....FUCK THIS.....I'M NOT SMEARING MY POOP ALL OVER THIS THING AND SENDING IT IN!!!!"

I got a new doctor....

 

[mudwhistle]

I don't like the idea.

I have serious issues with finger-waves as well.

Both a digital exam, and a colonoscopy can be life saving, Muddy...

I had it done every 6 months if I needed it or not by my proctologist......

Don't like em.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

When I left...there were 2 people in the waiting room. I looked at them and said "you will feel every inch".

Wow. That wasn't very nice.

 

[Gracie]

I sent in a stool sample a week prior to today. Came back ok. Whew!

I am presuming they found something and it was sent to the lab...hence me having to call next week for the results of what he found.

 

[Gracie]

When I left...there were 2 people in the waiting room. I looked at them and said "you will feel every inch".

Wow. That wasn't very nice.

It's not very nice that I was told I would be OUT and not feel a thing. Which means they said the same thing to everyone else. I learned the painful way. I wanted those two to be prepared that it isn't going to be a picnic. I didn't say it to be mean. I said it in sympathy for what they were fixing to experience.

 

[mudwhistle]

I sent in a stool sample a week prior to today. Came back ok. Whew!

I am presuming they found something and it was sent to the lab...hence me having to call next week for the results of what he found.

 

[Gracie]

They also said the anesthesiologist would discuss with me my meds I take, what I might be allergic to, etc. Um. There was no anesthesiologist there. They lied.

 

[mudwhistle]

When I left...there were 2 people in the waiting room. I looked at them and said "you will feel every inch".

Wow. That wasn't very nice.

It's not very nice that I was told I would be OUT and not feel a thing. Which means they said the same thing to everyone else. I learned the painful way. I wanted those two to be prepared that it isn't going to be a picnic. I didn't say it to be mean. I said it in sympathy for what they were fixing to experience.

What they meant was they wouldn't feel a thing.

 

[Gracie]

Ha Ha, Mud!!

 

[Unkotare]

When I left...there were 2 people in the waiting room. I looked at them and said "you will feel every inch".

Wow. That wasn't very nice.

You might need to edit your PSA eh, A-hole Hero?