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o she is in assisted living....i am not crazy...she would have killed me by now....or i would have killed her....i cant imagine how people do this for years at home....
well its another day...belks is having a sale and she needs socks.....she has a new aid starting today and its raining....
well its another day...belks is having a sale and she needs socks.....she has a new aid starting today and its raining....
ahh infie i get by with the help of a lot of my cyber friends...yall seem to take it a wee bit better than the real life friends....and when my son told me will was dead...i realized i didnt have the worse day in the world...my friend did...i cant imagine how she is doing...she stayed in a bad marriage because of her sons...i noticed in the guest book on line...everyone addresses her....very few mention the father....
i am resisting the urge to drink....i just cant go back to bottles of vodka a day...that aint even helping reality....and i am proud of myself....i am still not smoking ciggies....i think those two vices are ones i really need to avoid...and i dont mean to sound holier than thou....i have hit the patron on some nights...
and i really do want a ciggie....
i can almost remember the feeling of that warm smoke..filling my lungs....i can close my eyes and almost smell it....exhaling the smoke...i am joe cool...but it aint gonna happen...if i dont turn yellow and the lungs dont fail....i am happy
o here is a story:
there is a lady...who brings her dog and sits with her mother....they just sit they dont really talk....but they look so peaceful....her and her mother are kinda new....so i see her at the post office and literally chase her down....we get to talking....i ask her how her mother is...she replies....angry....just angry...and depressed...then she tells me how much she envys me when she sees me taking my mother out....that we seem so happy...
i told her the truth....i had so envied her and how peaceful they looked....while she envied me...for having an active mom...
well today was going well...we were getting ready to go to belks when the phone rings....her best friend in the world ....calls and asks her has she been home.....o well...hell broke loose...she refused to go get socks....fine....i got son to go see her later in the day...
she didnt remember me coming by...she has no clue when the trip is...or how they are going...
i will take thursday off....cause i dread the 3 hour car ride with her friday....she has no clue where she is going....she tends to be a lot worse as the day goes on...
i consulted a phsy guy who did the court evaluation...he told me ...she cant hold anything in her memory...that she has moments of having things together but then they are gone...he is willing to see her after the trip....