A Cats Diary

Discussion in 'Humor' started by red states rule, Jul 1, 2007.

  1. red states rule
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    red states rule Senior Member

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    Got this in an email


    CAT DIARY

    Day 983 of my captivity.

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed

    hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the

    rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep

    up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

    In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I

    had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly

    demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending

    comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

    Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed

    in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could

    hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due

    to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use

    it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

    tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this

    again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The

    dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be

    more than willing to return. He is obviously very stupid.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the

    guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors

    have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe

    for now...
     
  2. Truthmatters
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    Truthmatters BANNED

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    I do believe this is your best post ever!
     
  3. red states rule
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    red states rule Senior Member

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    Being a cat owner - it makes sense to me
     

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