- Dec 29, 2008
- 19,697
- 4,740
- 280
“Who is going to find out? These women are trash. Nobody’s going to believe them.”
This is Hillary talking about Bill’s trail of crushed ass because, uh, she’s such a friend to women. Frankly, I’m more concerned that she’s so prejudiced against trash people. We have feelings too!
“He ran a gas station down in St. Louis. No, Mahatma Gandhi was a great leader of the 20th century.”
What the fuck? This is just weird. I guess this is Hillary’s attempt at making a joke, which… look, I get it. Jokes are hard and most of them don’t really land. I should know. Ahem. Still, why would a politician – especially one considered so “polished” – make a joke about Gandhi of all people? Did she misplace her Martin Luther King, Jr. joke book?
“I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base.”
Ah yes, Hillary’s infamous “sniper fire” lie. This one is crazy because how do you not understand that someone who was there will immediately come out and be all “Uhhh… no.” This isn’t a drunk uncle telling bullshit war stories after Thanksgiving dinner. This is one of the most public figures in the world. She had to know she would get caught. Right?
“There’s a different leader in Syria now. Many of the members of Congress of both parties who have gone to Syria in recent months have said they believe he’s a reformer.”
Hillary on Bashar al-Assad, aka the dude responsible for turning Syria into the 9th circle of hell. But hey, let’s give her a pass. It’s not like she’s Secretary of State or anything. Wait…
“With all due respect, the fact is we had four dead Americans. Was it because of a protest or was it because of guys out for a walk one night decided to go kill some Americans? What difference, at this point, does it make?”
Yeah, fuck it, who cares? “Sorry your son is dead. How did he die? Does it really matter? Quit bothering me, grieving mother.”
“I have to admit that a good deal of what my husband and I have learned about Islam has come from my daughter. As some of you who are our friends know, she took a course last year in Islamic history.”
Clearly, Hillary’s foreign affairs expertise is beyond reproach. Again, this was our Secretary of State.
“My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. You know, I just… I don’t understand it.”
Okay, so this is Hillary ranting like a crazy person during the 2008 primaries when everyone was trying to let her know she was getting whomped by Barack Obama. I think she’s trying to say that anything could still happen, but unfortunately, she does it in pretty much the most hideous way possible, like in a “You can expect a visit from the Secret Service” kind of way.
“We have a lot of kids who don’t know what work means. They think work is a four-letter word.”
This is some George W. Bush shit right here. Come on.
“We came out of the White House not only dead-broke, but in debt. We had no money when we got there and we struggled to piece together the resources for mortgages, for houses, for Chelsea’s education. It was not easy.”
She’s just like you! Just ignore the millions of dollars in speaking fees, the Secret Service detail, the fact that she just lived in the goddamn White House for 8 years and the Arkansas Governor’s mansion for a decade before that. Yup, just like you.
“The last time I actually drove a car myself was 1996.”
She’s just like you!! Seriously, though, why would a politician say this? She might as well tell people she gets carried around on a litter like an aristocrat in ancient Rome.
“Put this helicopter on the ground! I left my sunglasses in the limo. I need those sunglasses. We need to go back!”
This is actually a quote from a book written by an Air Force Lt. Colonel named Robert “Buzz” Patterson, who was Bill Clinton’s senior military aide. Again, say it with me… she’s just like you!!!
“If I didn’t kick his ass every day, he wouldn’t be worth anything.”
Hillary, talking about Bill, because fuck him, he was only one of the most popular Presidents ever. What a worthless bum. Never forget, Hillary was the real President. Just ask her.
“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the President.”
Paranoia? Check. An unbelievable sense of entitlement? Check. An utter contempt for a free press? Check. Delusions of grandeur? Check.
“We are the President.” Jesus.
“The American people are tired of liars and people who pretend to be something they’re not.”
Well, that’s true.
Oh, by the way, here are some numbers from the exit polls in the New Hampshire primary. When asked what quality they look for most in a candidate, 34% said trustworthiness. That’s a third of the democratic electorate. Of those, 92% voted for Bernie Sanders. 6% voted for Hillary. Good call, Hillary.
“My husband may have his faults, but he has never lied to me.”
I… uh… just… well, goddamn. I don’t even know what to do with this one. I guess I’ll just let it speak for itself. It just says so much.
15 Of The Most Batshit Crazy Things That Hillary Clinton Has Actually Said
To be fair, Hillary only seems to go crazy when she is under stress. That's why she needs a stress free job like President of the United States.
This is Hillary talking about Bill’s trail of crushed ass because, uh, she’s such a friend to women. Frankly, I’m more concerned that she’s so prejudiced against trash people. We have feelings too!
“He ran a gas station down in St. Louis. No, Mahatma Gandhi was a great leader of the 20th century.”
What the fuck? This is just weird. I guess this is Hillary’s attempt at making a joke, which… look, I get it. Jokes are hard and most of them don’t really land. I should know. Ahem. Still, why would a politician – especially one considered so “polished” – make a joke about Gandhi of all people? Did she misplace her Martin Luther King, Jr. joke book?
“I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base.”
Ah yes, Hillary’s infamous “sniper fire” lie. This one is crazy because how do you not understand that someone who was there will immediately come out and be all “Uhhh… no.” This isn’t a drunk uncle telling bullshit war stories after Thanksgiving dinner. This is one of the most public figures in the world. She had to know she would get caught. Right?
“There’s a different leader in Syria now. Many of the members of Congress of both parties who have gone to Syria in recent months have said they believe he’s a reformer.”
Hillary on Bashar al-Assad, aka the dude responsible for turning Syria into the 9th circle of hell. But hey, let’s give her a pass. It’s not like she’s Secretary of State or anything. Wait…
“With all due respect, the fact is we had four dead Americans. Was it because of a protest or was it because of guys out for a walk one night decided to go kill some Americans? What difference, at this point, does it make?”
Yeah, fuck it, who cares? “Sorry your son is dead. How did he die? Does it really matter? Quit bothering me, grieving mother.”
“I have to admit that a good deal of what my husband and I have learned about Islam has come from my daughter. As some of you who are our friends know, she took a course last year in Islamic history.”
Clearly, Hillary’s foreign affairs expertise is beyond reproach. Again, this was our Secretary of State.
“My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. You know, I just… I don’t understand it.”
Okay, so this is Hillary ranting like a crazy person during the 2008 primaries when everyone was trying to let her know she was getting whomped by Barack Obama. I think she’s trying to say that anything could still happen, but unfortunately, she does it in pretty much the most hideous way possible, like in a “You can expect a visit from the Secret Service” kind of way.
“We have a lot of kids who don’t know what work means. They think work is a four-letter word.”
This is some George W. Bush shit right here. Come on.
“We came out of the White House not only dead-broke, but in debt. We had no money when we got there and we struggled to piece together the resources for mortgages, for houses, for Chelsea’s education. It was not easy.”
She’s just like you! Just ignore the millions of dollars in speaking fees, the Secret Service detail, the fact that she just lived in the goddamn White House for 8 years and the Arkansas Governor’s mansion for a decade before that. Yup, just like you.
“The last time I actually drove a car myself was 1996.”
She’s just like you!! Seriously, though, why would a politician say this? She might as well tell people she gets carried around on a litter like an aristocrat in ancient Rome.
“Put this helicopter on the ground! I left my sunglasses in the limo. I need those sunglasses. We need to go back!”
This is actually a quote from a book written by an Air Force Lt. Colonel named Robert “Buzz” Patterson, who was Bill Clinton’s senior military aide. Again, say it with me… she’s just like you!!!
“If I didn’t kick his ass every day, he wouldn’t be worth anything.”
Hillary, talking about Bill, because fuck him, he was only one of the most popular Presidents ever. What a worthless bum. Never forget, Hillary was the real President. Just ask her.
“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the President.”
Paranoia? Check. An unbelievable sense of entitlement? Check. An utter contempt for a free press? Check. Delusions of grandeur? Check.
“We are the President.” Jesus.
“The American people are tired of liars and people who pretend to be something they’re not.”
Well, that’s true.
Oh, by the way, here are some numbers from the exit polls in the New Hampshire primary. When asked what quality they look for most in a candidate, 34% said trustworthiness. That’s a third of the democratic electorate. Of those, 92% voted for Bernie Sanders. 6% voted for Hillary. Good call, Hillary.
“My husband may have his faults, but he has never lied to me.”
I… uh… just… well, goddamn. I don’t even know what to do with this one. I guess I’ll just let it speak for itself. It just says so much.
15 Of The Most Batshit Crazy Things That Hillary Clinton Has Actually Said
To be fair, Hillary only seems to go crazy when she is under stress. That's why she needs a stress free job like President of the United States.
