ZackB
Gold Member
- Banned
- #1
I think that I have detected some flaws in this whole "zombie apocalypse" thing that some people are so into these days. First off, if zombies are dead people then eventually they are going to rot to the point where they are no longer ambulatory. Other people may die and become zombies, but it seems to me that any hoard activity would be short lived due to decomposition. Therefore, the best thing to do during such an apocalypse would be what the characters did in "Sean of the Dead", to wit: hole up in a pub and wait for it all to blow over.
Secondly, why are zombies supposed to always be so pissed? As I see it there are 2 types of zombies:
1. Zombies reanimated by supernatural forces; and
2. Zombies who turn due to some kind of environmental pathogen or drugs.
I am not concerned with the supernatural because that is entirely fiction. So for the other type, why are they homicidal? Yes, I know that zombies are an allegorical devise. But at some point this facade jumps the shark and becomes distracting.
Why can't the zombies be happy? Instead of eating people why don't they have a compelling drive to, say, become Master Gardeners or auto mechanics? Why don't they incessantly now people's lawns? There is absolutely no reason they should be maniacs, especially if their learned behavior when alive was anything but maniacal. Granted, there is that whole "rage virus" subset of zombie lore as seen in "28 Days Later" and "28 Weeks Later" in which the living human being suffers a virus induced psychotic break and becomes enraged. However, I do not believe that everyone who suffers from a psychotic break becomes a homicidal maniac. Some just curl up in balls and become catatonic.
Could a drug cause people to become murderous assholes? Bath Salts and other synthetics have done this on a very limited scale. But you would need to add to this the ability to make the condition infectious if you are to have an apocalyptic scenario. Even tainting water supplies would not induce an apocalypse because eventually most people will sober up, realize that they ate their grandfather or hamster, then recover. Apocalypse over.
No, to have a real chance at having a bone fide zombie apocalypse it will need to be done by creating an infectious microbe that induces violent tendencies. But even with this there is bound to be disparity of result. For example, with bath salts you may get some dude who eats homeless people's faces and others who turn into mindless douche bags wandering the streets aimlessly and singing Bee Gees songs. While I am not a scientist nor do I have any medical training I just do not see how it is biologically possible to program people to be brain eating killing machines. This is just as likely to occur as a supernatural zombie apocalypse.
I will disclose that I think the whole idea of a zombie apocalypse is pretty freakin' cool. It would be freestyle target practice. When that lunatic in Florida who was whacked out of his mind on bath salts was caught on camera eating that homeless guy I thought, "Yeah! It's on!" I wanted to start loading magazines and sharpening my swords, knives and axes. I was ready. However, I am now attempting to mitigate my disappointment. It is now clear to me that despite the fact that humans generally suck, the great Cthulhu will not crawl out of the ocean to eat us and that there is no zombie apocalypse to look forward to. It is just us - little biological capsules of bone and flesh walking around on earth.
Secondly, why are zombies supposed to always be so pissed? As I see it there are 2 types of zombies:
1. Zombies reanimated by supernatural forces; and
2. Zombies who turn due to some kind of environmental pathogen or drugs.
I am not concerned with the supernatural because that is entirely fiction. So for the other type, why are they homicidal? Yes, I know that zombies are an allegorical devise. But at some point this facade jumps the shark and becomes distracting.
Why can't the zombies be happy? Instead of eating people why don't they have a compelling drive to, say, become Master Gardeners or auto mechanics? Why don't they incessantly now people's lawns? There is absolutely no reason they should be maniacs, especially if their learned behavior when alive was anything but maniacal. Granted, there is that whole "rage virus" subset of zombie lore as seen in "28 Days Later" and "28 Weeks Later" in which the living human being suffers a virus induced psychotic break and becomes enraged. However, I do not believe that everyone who suffers from a psychotic break becomes a homicidal maniac. Some just curl up in balls and become catatonic.
Could a drug cause people to become murderous assholes? Bath Salts and other synthetics have done this on a very limited scale. But you would need to add to this the ability to make the condition infectious if you are to have an apocalyptic scenario. Even tainting water supplies would not induce an apocalypse because eventually most people will sober up, realize that they ate their grandfather or hamster, then recover. Apocalypse over.
No, to have a real chance at having a bone fide zombie apocalypse it will need to be done by creating an infectious microbe that induces violent tendencies. But even with this there is bound to be disparity of result. For example, with bath salts you may get some dude who eats homeless people's faces and others who turn into mindless douche bags wandering the streets aimlessly and singing Bee Gees songs. While I am not a scientist nor do I have any medical training I just do not see how it is biologically possible to program people to be brain eating killing machines. This is just as likely to occur as a supernatural zombie apocalypse.
I will disclose that I think the whole idea of a zombie apocalypse is pretty freakin' cool. It would be freestyle target practice. When that lunatic in Florida who was whacked out of his mind on bath salts was caught on camera eating that homeless guy I thought, "Yeah! It's on!" I wanted to start loading magazines and sharpening my swords, knives and axes. I was ready. However, I am now attempting to mitigate my disappointment. It is now clear to me that despite the fact that humans generally suck, the great Cthulhu will not crawl out of the ocean to eat us and that there is no zombie apocalypse to look forward to. It is just us - little biological capsules of bone and flesh walking around on earth.
