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WTF is going on with this?!

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Lucy Hamilton

Lucy Hamilton

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Is his wife at least hot?

She and he are older than we are, I saw a picture when she was younger and she was okay but now she's all facially bloated, oh I forgot we think she has a drinking problem, this because on more than one occasion Mr. Lucy and me have watched her down two bottles of wine to herself in ONE sitting. The last time was a few weeks ago when it was their daughter's 19th birthday and they had a party in the garden. Oh yes a party that got out of hand after Mr. Lucy and me went home and at approx 2AM the police had to go to their house because of the MASSIVE noise level. I only found this out on the Monday when I got into my Office and was looking at recent Reports and I saw a Report on THEM and was like WTF?!

The alcohol is the problem here. She needs treatment.

Yes we better not go there, as she does not recognise she has a problem if this is suggested this would cause not a good situation.

When I was drinking my wife was a patient angel for 40 years. The last 4 or 5 years she went to Al Anon and our relationship was greatly improved. at age 55 I volunteered to go to an alcohol rehab center for a month and I have been sober for 26 years. You might suggest Al Anon to him. It's a program for spouses and families of alcoholics. It's free and worldwide. It teaches them how to cope and how to subtly help the alcoholic recover.

bump: See new link


I have a vision in my head from years ago, this was when Papa confronted a friend of his who was an Alcoholic and he went MEGA BATSHIT and literally had to be restrained because if not he was going to punch Papa for saying he was an Alcoholic and needed help.
Oh definitely, the person with the obsession or addiction most of the time will vehemently deny they have a problem. I feel for the husband, it would take something drastic for him to get his wife to recognize how bad things are.

Yes not sure what that drastic thing would be though.

She also has OCD not the washing hands every five minute thing but cleaning the ENTIRE house thing, I just remembered this, one time I went round there to drop the spare set of keys to one of my apartments off and our friend was standing outside his house and said we couldn't go in because she was cleaning the house AGAIN and he said it was her OCD and I was thinking WTF?!
 

theHawk

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Sounds like a woman that has been cheated on or is guilting of cheating herself...
Or one of her parents were serial cheaters.

She was married before, from what I was told he was NOT a nice man and he abused her, also I think he had a drinking problem, I also think he died although I'm not 100% certain of that. No idea about what her parents were like, all I know is that her brothers and sisters do NOT talk to her. I know this because last year I was at their house and our friends brother came around and also I have seenhim with his other brother on a different occasion, and he said that his wife's brothers and sisters do NOT talk to her. I did not ask him to elaborate though about this.

I do know that she LITERALLY has no RL friends, she has Facebook Friends but I have NEVER seen her out and about with RL friends.
LOL, wow. No doubt she is a vapid c**t.
.
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And we all know....
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.
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1592946570416.jpeg
 

deannalw

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What a mess! It sucks when there's not much you can do for a friend in need.

But you know... for the most part, we teach people how to treat us and it seems like he did a terrible job.
 
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Lucy Hamilton

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What a mess! It sucks when there's not much you can do for a friend in need.

But you know... for the most part, we teach people how to treat us and it seems like he did a terrible job.

He deserves a LIFE, some time to do his OWN things, it's very sad that she treats him that way and has conditioned him into thinking it's normal.
 

deannalw

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Okay so me and Mr. Lucy have a friend, he's a nice person and would help anyone and often does.

The problem is his wife who literally controls his entire life, he has no life of his own, he has no time to himself, she has him basically trained to do what she tells him. When he's at work she is phoning him all the time, usually with trivial things, we know this because he has shown us his phone and the amount of calls a day he gets from her. If he does a job as a favour for someone she is phoning him at random when he's doing the job, we know this as he did a job for us and his wife phoned him TWO TIMES in 30 minutes to see when he was going home.

Its as if she CANNOT let him out of her sight, that she wants him in the house at ALL times he is NOT at work. Mr. Lucy plays Squash and asked him did he want to join the Squash Club and play a game a few times a week and he said he couldn't spare the time because he has a ton of jobs to do at home, jobs that his wife literally seems to have WAITING for him as SOON as he gets through the door.

She will do things to create MORE jobs to keep him in the house eg. he said during his holiday time he was having to redecorate because his wife had torn off some wallpaper to indicate she wanted the bedroom redecorating. Now he has 10 days off again on holiday beginning yesterday and she has decided they need a new bathroom, not a few things but an ENTIRE new bathroom which he will be putting in himself.

He often acts as my Maintenance man on some apartments I rent out, I literally a month ago got rid of a NIGHTMARE tenant and there is some damage inside the apartment that he promised he would do, of course he can't do this now because his wife has things she has created for him to do, we think deliberately because she is so insecure she cannot handle him doing things for anyone else because she wants him at home where she can keep an eye of him and control him.

On Saturday Mr. Lucy saw him and mentioned when was he going to be able to do the Maintenance on this apartment I mention above, this is when we found she has decided he had to put an ENTIRE new bathroom in their house. Mr. Lucy said to him what EVERYONE has already thought that he couldn't do the Maintenance because his wife doesn't want him to do it. He then started SCREAMING ABUSE at Mr. Lucy probably because he KNOWS what Mr. Lucy said to him was correct.

Last week he was at our house and his wife gets home at approx 5.15PM and so at 5.45PM she phones him and literally says to him that she was going to bed because quote "I'm sick of being on my own" WTF?! On average the man has NO LIFE, he cannot MOVE without she is checking on him, she has him in the house doing shit for her on average FIVE HOURS a day during the week 6PM-11PM and ALL WEEKEND doing shit for her.

She won't even allow him to have his own bank account, they have a Joint Account so she can keep track, this results in him NEVER having ANY money of his own to spend because SHE controls the account and has all the bank account numbers and the CARD. With this I should add that SHE ran up a 25.000 DEBT two years ago by Maxing out their previous card, she then sat on her buttocks while he got TWO other jobs to work round the clock to pay HER DEBT and he did that for a quiet life, yes she seems to go batshit IF he does not do EVERYTHING she says. She also at random plays the Threatening To Kill Herself Card and the You Would Be Better Without Me Card to further put him firmly under her control.

WTF is WRONG with this woman? I would NEVER treat Mr. Lucy this way. I am totally disgusted at how this man has allowed himself to be controlled by this woman like this, WTF why doesn't he get some balls and tell her: He needs time on his own, he needs a LIFE that does NOT revolve around being around her 24/7, he wants his OWN bank account and he would like to join Mr . Lucy's Squash Club and play a game a few times a week.

WTF is going on with this?!
Lexapro...I'm not kidding.


He should slip vallium into every single thing she eats and drinks 24/7
 
OP
Lucy Hamilton

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Okay so me and Mr. Lucy have a friend, he's a nice person and would help anyone and often does.

The problem is his wife who literally controls his entire life, he has no life of his own, he has no time to himself, she has him basically trained to do what she tells him. When he's at work she is phoning him all the time, usually with trivial things, we know this because he has shown us his phone and the amount of calls a day he gets from her. If he does a job as a favour for someone she is phoning him at random when he's doing the job, we know this as he did a job for us and his wife phoned him TWO TIMES in 30 minutes to see when he was going home.

Its as if she CANNOT let him out of her sight, that she wants him in the house at ALL times he is NOT at work. Mr. Lucy plays Squash and asked him did he want to join the Squash Club and play a game a few times a week and he said he couldn't spare the time because he has a ton of jobs to do at home, jobs that his wife literally seems to have WAITING for him as SOON as he gets through the door.

She will do things to create MORE jobs to keep him in the house eg. he said during his holiday time he was having to redecorate because his wife had torn off some wallpaper to indicate she wanted the bedroom redecorating. Now he has 10 days off again on holiday beginning yesterday and she has decided they need a new bathroom, not a few things but an ENTIRE new bathroom which he will be putting in himself.

He often acts as my Maintenance man on some apartments I rent out, I literally a month ago got rid of a NIGHTMARE tenant and there is some damage inside the apartment that he promised he would do, of course he can't do this now because his wife has things she has created for him to do, we think deliberately because she is so insecure she cannot handle him doing things for anyone else because she wants him at home where she can keep an eye of him and control him.

On Saturday Mr. Lucy saw him and mentioned when was he going to be able to do the Maintenance on this apartment I mention above, this is when we found she has decided he had to put an ENTIRE new bathroom in their house. Mr. Lucy said to him what EVERYONE has already thought that he couldn't do the Maintenance because his wife doesn't want him to do it. He then started SCREAMING ABUSE at Mr. Lucy probably because he KNOWS what Mr. Lucy said to him was correct.

Last week he was at our house and his wife gets home at approx 5.15PM and so at 5.45PM she phones him and literally says to him that she was going to bed because quote "I'm sick of being on my own" WTF?! On average the man has NO LIFE, he cannot MOVE without she is checking on him, she has him in the house doing shit for her on average FIVE HOURS a day during the week 6PM-11PM and ALL WEEKEND doing shit for her.

She won't even allow him to have his own bank account, they have a Joint Account so she can keep track, this results in him NEVER having ANY money of his own to spend because SHE controls the account and has all the bank account numbers and the CARD. With this I should add that SHE ran up a 25.000 DEBT two years ago by Maxing out their previous card, she then sat on her buttocks while he got TWO other jobs to work round the clock to pay HER DEBT and he did that for a quiet life, yes she seems to go batshit IF he does not do EVERYTHING she says. She also at random plays the Threatening To Kill Herself Card and the You Would Be Better Without Me Card to further put him firmly under her control.

WTF is WRONG with this woman? I would NEVER treat Mr. Lucy this way. I am totally disgusted at how this man has allowed himself to be controlled by this woman like this, WTF why doesn't he get some balls and tell her: He needs time on his own, he needs a LIFE that does NOT revolve around being around her 24/7, he wants his OWN bank account and he would like to join Mr . Lucy's Squash Club and play a game a few times a week.

WTF is going on with this?!
Lexapro...I'm not kidding.


He should slip vallium into every single thing she eats and drinks 24/7

That would be a good idea.
 

JustAnotherNut

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Actually it sounds like a co-dependent relationship......she needs to control and he needs to be controlled. IF they've been together for many years, then it's his own fault for not standing up to her. If they're together less than 5-ish years, maybe he will when he gets tired of it.

Yeah she's got a bucket full of problems, but he's probably not innocent either
 

deannalw

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What a mess! It sucks when there's not much you can do for a friend in need.

But you know... for the most part, we teach people how to treat us and it seems like he did a terrible job.

He deserves a LIFE, some time to do his OWN things, it's very sad that she treats him that way and has conditioned him into thinking it's normal.


Absolutely. But at the end of the day, he's the only one that can stand up for a better life. I've seen this kind of thing too, and it was just wretched to watch all the time.

It's good that you and Mr. Lucy are there for him. It's a lonely place to be.
 
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Lucy Hamilton

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What a mess! It sucks when there's not much you can do for a friend in need.

But you know... for the most part, we teach people how to treat us and it seems like he did a terrible job.

He deserves a LIFE, some time to do his OWN things, it's very sad that she treats him that way and has conditioned him into thinking it's normal.


Absolutely. But at the end of the day, he's the only one that can stand up for a better life. I've seen this kind of thing too, and it was just wretched to watch all the time.

It's good that you and Mr. Lucy are there for him. It's a lonely place to be.

Well we would like to help him, but we can't because you know she's in the way. I'm sure she thinks in some bizarro way we are trying to take him off her, which is absurd of course. We are aware that his physical health is suffering, he has some type of lung problem and coughs a lot and so he NEEDS to REST when he gets home but she has TONS of jobs waiting for him, this is why I commented earlier that she's going to put him in an early grave. I should add that as my Maintenance man I ONLY now have him doing things that are NOT to physically demanding of him.

This then leads me to think does she actually love him in the NORMAL sense that we think of as love? If she does then WHY wont she leave him alone, why is she at him EVERY waking moment?
 

deannalw

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I don't know if she loves him in a "normal" kind of way or in a nutzy way. We know her thinking process is flawed because of her extreme marital behavior and OCD. OCD can disrupt and destroy people and marriages.

I don't suppose he'd take kindly to a suggestion of therapy seperately and as a couple...

It's a tough situation, Lucy.
 

Gracie

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They are both train wrecks. He is because he is not a man. She is because she is a bully and a drunk.

People only get to do to you what you LET them do to you.

Both are toxic. I'd avoid them both.
 
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Lucy Hamilton

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How long have these two been together and when did this behavior start?

Sorry I missed your question last night. Not sure exactly how long they have been together but at least 21 years, they have a son aged 21 and a daughter aged 19. We have known them approx six years and this man's wife has been like this the entire time we have known them.
 

Darkwind

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Okay so me and Mr. Lucy have a friend, he's a nice person and would help anyone and often does.

The problem is his wife who literally controls his entire life, he has no life of his own, he has no time to himself, she has him basically trained to do what she tells him. When he's at work she is phoning him all the time, usually with trivial things, we know this because he has shown us his phone and the amount of calls a day he gets from her. If he does a job as a favour for someone she is phoning him at random when he's doing the job, we know this as he did a job for us and his wife phoned him TWO TIMES in 30 minutes to see when he was going home.

Its as if she CANNOT let him out of her sight, that she wants him in the house at ALL times he is NOT at work. Mr. Lucy plays Squash and asked him did he want to join the Squash Club and play a game a few times a week and he said he couldn't spare the time because he has a ton of jobs to do at home, jobs that his wife literally seems to have WAITING for him as SOON as he gets through the door.

She will do things to create MORE jobs to keep him in the house eg. he said during his holiday time he was having to redecorate because his wife had torn off some wallpaper to indicate she wanted the bedroom redecorating. Now he has 10 days off again on holiday beginning yesterday and she has decided they need a new bathroom, not a few things but an ENTIRE new bathroom which he will be putting in himself.

He often acts as my Maintenance man on some apartments I rent out, I literally a month ago got rid of a NIGHTMARE tenant and there is some damage inside the apartment that he promised he would do, of course he can't do this now because his wife has things she has created for him to do, we think deliberately because she is so insecure she cannot handle him doing things for anyone else because she wants him at home where she can keep an eye of him and control him.

On Saturday Mr. Lucy saw him and mentioned when was he going to be able to do the Maintenance on this apartment I mention above, this is when we found she has decided he had to put an ENTIRE new bathroom in their house. Mr. Lucy said to him what EVERYONE has already thought that he couldn't do the Maintenance because his wife doesn't want him to do it. He then started SCREAMING ABUSE at Mr. Lucy probably because he KNOWS what Mr. Lucy said to him was correct.

Last week he was at our house and his wife gets home at approx 5.15PM and so at 5.45PM she phones him and literally says to him that she was going to bed because quote "I'm sick of being on my own" WTF?! On average the man has NO LIFE, he cannot MOVE without she is checking on him, she has him in the house doing shit for her on average FIVE HOURS a day during the week 6PM-11PM and ALL WEEKEND doing shit for her.

She won't even allow him to have his own bank account, they have a Joint Account so she can keep track, this results in him NEVER having ANY money of his own to spend because SHE controls the account and has all the bank account numbers and the CARD. With this I should add that SHE ran up a 25.000 DEBT two years ago by Maxing out their previous card, she then sat on her buttocks while he got TWO other jobs to work round the clock to pay HER DEBT and he did that for a quiet life, yes she seems to go batshit IF he does not do EVERYTHING she says. She also at random plays the Threatening To Kill Herself Card and the You Would Be Better Without Me Card to further put him firmly under her control.

WTF is WRONG with this woman? I would NEVER treat Mr. Lucy this way. I am totally disgusted at how this man has allowed himself to be controlled by this woman like this, WTF why doesn't he get some balls and tell her: He needs time on his own, he needs a LIFE that does NOT revolve around being around her 24/7, he wants his OWN bank account and he would like to join Mr . Lucy's Squash Club and play a game a few times a week.

WTF is going on with this?!
WTF is wrong with this woman? My initial and correct reaction is, WTF is wrong with this guy?

I'd tell her to fuck off and promptly file divorce papers.
 

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