Captain Creeper
Diamond Member
- Oct 13, 2025
- 2,569
- 2,970
- 1,903
This is all hypothetical, of course. But sometimes it is a positive exercise in self-discovery to partake in such. Here is my analysis.
Looks:
Candace is black. Now, normally, this is a negative for me because most black women have features that do nothing for me (e.g., big fluffy sista butts; the sub-Saharan facial structure; etc...). But Candace lacks these shortcomings ... COMPLETELY. She is a cute, sensual looking chick. I am not the only white boy who feels this way either. She is already married to a white guy. Candace is totally hot and totally doable, 24/7.
Charlie's wife is pretty, there is no doubt about it. It is hard to beat a hot blond chick (until she talks back to you...LOL!). But, her eyes kind of creep me out. Then, that whole thing with her forgiving Charlie's tranny murderer ... YUCK! Finally, there is something off about her hip/butt proportions. Candace has her beat in this area.
Intelligence:
Candace is quite intelligent, while Charlie's wife seems like a follower. I mean, I am nowhere near Candace's ideology. But I respect the fact that she goes there. She is an anti-Joo juggernaut. Me, not so much. I have a Jew friend growing up and spent time with him and his family. They were good folks, and they do not have horns under their hair. I cannot equate such individuals with some kind of make-believe "ZIONIST EVIL BLAH BLAH BLAH". All of that is fake, conspiracy, bigoted bullshit. So, Charlie's wife is far more sensible. But intelligence has to go to Candace.
Crazy:
If one is going to give an honest and thorough review of women, he must consider the crazy quotient. Crazy can create a lot of problems with women. However, crazy's side effect is that you usually get some great bang from it! Candace has a crazy streak. But, she is also making a living with her media stuff. Charlie's wife seems sensible. But it was like only a couple days after Charlie was killed that she was prancing around wearing tight leather pants and virtually dry humping the VP in front of an audience of millions. I have to give the crazy edge to Charlie's wife.
Most Available:
Clearly, Charlie's wife wins here. But not by a lot. Something tells me that you can still get Candace. I am thinking she would be up to cuck her hubby, and that is totally cool with me!
Best Cook:
My estimation is that Candace is the better cook. She is black, she can fry chicken. I would not be surprised to learn that Charlie's woman could f*ck up a hot pocket in the microwave. She has kids, and Charlie had money. They have nannies. Candace, on the other hand, did not pump out kids like a horny swamp rabbit.
Sensuality: I got to admit something here. Charlie's wife comes across to me like a bit of a cold fish. Candace, on the other hand, is smoking hot. By my estimation, Candace will **** like a feral dog in heat!
Earning Capacity:
Charlie's wife clearly rode his coattail. She is now quite wealthy thanks to Charlie. Candace, on the other hand, is still humping it to make a live. She does not have Charlie Kirk money yet, but she goes out there day after day, pimping her wild shit and getting people talking, all the while banking greenbacks for her efforts!! That is pure free-market capitalistic glory!!! One has to imagine what would have happened if Charlie and Candace had gotten together. Their progeny would have ruled the media for 1,000 years!!
Conclusion:
For me the answer is clear: I would rather date Candace. It is not even close. Charlie's wife is attractive and fit. And now she is rich as hell! Those 2 points alone make this a tough decision. Candace is not nearly as financially secure (I don't think), but her bangworthy rating is WAY higher. She is one of the few chicks in the media today that I can gaze upon, with both her and me fully clothed, and get morning wood (in the afternoon).
Looks:
Candace is black. Now, normally, this is a negative for me because most black women have features that do nothing for me (e.g., big fluffy sista butts; the sub-Saharan facial structure; etc...). But Candace lacks these shortcomings ... COMPLETELY. She is a cute, sensual looking chick. I am not the only white boy who feels this way either. She is already married to a white guy. Candace is totally hot and totally doable, 24/7.
Charlie's wife is pretty, there is no doubt about it. It is hard to beat a hot blond chick (until she talks back to you...LOL!). But, her eyes kind of creep me out. Then, that whole thing with her forgiving Charlie's tranny murderer ... YUCK! Finally, there is something off about her hip/butt proportions. Candace has her beat in this area.
Intelligence:
Candace is quite intelligent, while Charlie's wife seems like a follower. I mean, I am nowhere near Candace's ideology. But I respect the fact that she goes there. She is an anti-Joo juggernaut. Me, not so much. I have a Jew friend growing up and spent time with him and his family. They were good folks, and they do not have horns under their hair. I cannot equate such individuals with some kind of make-believe "ZIONIST EVIL BLAH BLAH BLAH". All of that is fake, conspiracy, bigoted bullshit. So, Charlie's wife is far more sensible. But intelligence has to go to Candace.
Crazy:
If one is going to give an honest and thorough review of women, he must consider the crazy quotient. Crazy can create a lot of problems with women. However, crazy's side effect is that you usually get some great bang from it! Candace has a crazy streak. But, she is also making a living with her media stuff. Charlie's wife seems sensible. But it was like only a couple days after Charlie was killed that she was prancing around wearing tight leather pants and virtually dry humping the VP in front of an audience of millions. I have to give the crazy edge to Charlie's wife.
Most Available:
Clearly, Charlie's wife wins here. But not by a lot. Something tells me that you can still get Candace. I am thinking she would be up to cuck her hubby, and that is totally cool with me!
Best Cook:
My estimation is that Candace is the better cook. She is black, she can fry chicken. I would not be surprised to learn that Charlie's woman could f*ck up a hot pocket in the microwave. She has kids, and Charlie had money. They have nannies. Candace, on the other hand, did not pump out kids like a horny swamp rabbit.
Sensuality: I got to admit something here. Charlie's wife comes across to me like a bit of a cold fish. Candace, on the other hand, is smoking hot. By my estimation, Candace will **** like a feral dog in heat!
Earning Capacity:
Charlie's wife clearly rode his coattail. She is now quite wealthy thanks to Charlie. Candace, on the other hand, is still humping it to make a live. She does not have Charlie Kirk money yet, but she goes out there day after day, pimping her wild shit and getting people talking, all the while banking greenbacks for her efforts!! That is pure free-market capitalistic glory!!! One has to imagine what would have happened if Charlie and Candace had gotten together. Their progeny would have ruled the media for 1,000 years!!
Conclusion:
For me the answer is clear: I would rather date Candace. It is not even close. Charlie's wife is attractive and fit. And now she is rich as hell! Those 2 points alone make this a tough decision. Candace is not nearly as financially secure (I don't think), but her bangworthy rating is WAY higher. She is one of the few chicks in the media today that I can gaze upon, with both her and me fully clothed, and get morning wood (in the afternoon).
