weekly world news headlines we'll never see

[shart_attack]

And boy howdy, is that ever sayin' sumin', right there:

Okay, I'll go with "US SENATE WORKS TOGETHER TO PASS LAW FOR AMERICAN PEOPLE!!!"

 

[shart_attack]

Howzabout ...

"USMB Troll Admits the Holocaust Actually Happened!!!"?

 

[shart_attack]

Or ...

"CHRISTIAN-HATING INTERNET MESSAGE BOARD TROLL ADMITS "YES, THERE IS A GOD'!!!"?

 

[shart_attack]

Or ...

"'NO, FAT-BOTTOMED GIRLS DON'T MAKE THE WORLD GO 'ROUND,' DYING ROCKER SAYS!!!"???

 

[shart_attack]

Hey, here's sumin' unique:

"INTERNET TOUGH GUY WHIPS THREE ASSES WITH BARE HANDS!!!"

 

[shart_attack]

Another:

"GANG OF ANGRY SHARTS ATTACKS EASTERN U.S. SEABOARD!!!"

 

[shart_attack]

"cali hetero couple ties knot in traditional ceremony!!!"

 

[Two Thumbs]

Canada does something!

 

[Two Thumbs]

Cat saves boy from large dog attack!


oh wait

 

[Two Thumbs]

Not everything taste better on a Ritz

 

[shart_attack]

"aging hollywood producer says green acres is not the place to be!!!"

 

[shart_attack]

"cali teacher gives lesson in english!!!"

 

[shart_attack]

"rocker ozzy osbourne says he will 'never tour again'!!!"

 

[shart_attack]

"captured ozarks fugitive does not test positive for methamphetamine!!!"

 

[jon_berzerk]

-breaking-

ATF makes gaffe allowing legal ownership of post 86 machine guns