Gaslighting much? It's called, pursuing the truth, wherever it leads you. That sometimes involves changing your position and embracing that which you sincerely believe is true.
However, I was never really a Christian. As a communist, I saw Jesus as an early, pre-Marxian communist. I still do. I also believe the first Christians were theistic communists because, under the guidance of the 12 apostles, they strictly followed the actual teachings of Jesus. Later, mainly through Paul's gospel, Christianity became Paulianity. Paul is the true founder of your brand of Christianity. I like Jesus and his apostles, but I'm disgusted by most modern Christians, especially American Evangelicals, due to how hypocritical they are with their cynical, big-money politics and defense of the rich at the expense of the poor and working-class people. You "Christians" are the opposite of Jesus.
Catholics tend to be more academic (intelligent, thoughtful) and generally, don't hold the poor in contempt. They're friendlier towards the poor and aren't as "right-wing " as American protestants are. The official stance of the Catholic church is that even an agnostic atheist like me, can be saved through Jesus, provided my rejection of Christian dogma is in line with my conscience. If I'm genuinely following my conscience, then according to the Magisterium of the Roman Catholic Church, I can be saved. Catholics don't throw all non-Christians into the lake of fire, as most Protestants do.