Trump signs new executive order granting himself a million dollar weekly unemployment check in January!

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump raised eyebrows on Monday by signing an executive order granting himself a million-dollar unemployment check if he leaves office in January.​

​

Trump said that he will deserve the seven-figure check if the election is “stolen” by what he called “a conspiracy between the U.S. Postal Service and Antifa.”​

​

In a further defense of the huge payment, Trump said, “If I’m out of a job, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., will be, too.”​

​

The executive order immediately drew howls of protest from congressional Democrats, as well as from the Republican senator Ben Sasse, who called it “a steaming pile of constitutional crap.”​

​

Unmoved, Trump called the Nebraska senator “Poor Li’l Sassy” and argued that the executive order was a “work of genius” that should guarantee him a place on Mt. Rushmore.​

​

“Those beauties like Lincoln and Jefferson never thought of anything this smart,” he said. “They would be lucky if I let my head be carved out of the same rock as theirs.”​

Trump Signs New Executive Order Granting Himself Unemployment Check in January

In defense of the huge payment, Trump said, “If I’m out of a job, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., will be, too.”

www.newyorker.com

 

[Meister]

Great satire

 

[the other mike]

Still don't believe he's an incredibly stable genius ?

 

[Dick Foster]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump raised eyebrows on Monday by signing an executive order granting himself a million-dollar unemployment check if he leaves office in January.​

​

Trump said that he will deserve the seven-figure check if the election is “stolen” by what he called “a conspiracy between the U.S. Postal Service and Antifa.”​

​

In a further defense of the huge payment, Trump said, “If I’m out of a job, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., will be, too.”​

​

The executive order immediately drew howls of protest from congressional Democrats, as well as from the Republican senator Ben Sasse, who called it “a steaming pile of constitutional crap.”​

​

Unmoved, Trump called the Nebraska senator “Poor Li’l Sassy” and argued that the executive order was a “work of genius” that should guarantee him a place on Mt. Rushmore.​

​

“Those beauties like Lincoln and Jefferson never thought of anything this smart,” he said. “They would be lucky if I let my head be carved out of the same rock as theirs.”​

Trump Signs New Executive Order Granting Himself Unemployment Check in January

In defense of the huge payment, Trump said, “If I’m out of a job, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., will be, too.”

www.newyorker.com

Dumbass Trump doesn't take his pay now, it's donated. Same for his kids. You really should try pulling your head out of your ass sometime. Its amazing what you can see, hear and learn and the fresh air is good too.

 

[toobfreak]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump raised eyebrows on Monday by signing an executive order granting himself a million-dollar unemployment check if he leaves office in January.​

​

Trump said that he will deserve the seven-figure check if the election is “stolen” by what he called “a conspiracy between the U.S. Postal Service and Antifa.”​

​

In a further defense of the huge payment, Trump said, “If I’m out of a job, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., will be, too.”​

​

The executive order immediately drew howls of protest from congressional Democrats, as well as from the Republican senator Ben Sasse, who called it “a steaming pile of constitutional crap.”​

​

Unmoved, Trump called the Nebraska senator “Poor Li’l Sassy” and argued that the executive order was a “work of genius” that should guarantee him a place on Mt. Rushmore.​

​

“Those beauties like Lincoln and Jefferson never thought of anything this smart,” he said. “They would be lucky if I let my head be carved out of the same rock as theirs.”​

Trump Signs New Executive Order Granting Himself Unemployment Check in January

In defense of the huge payment, Trump said, “If I’m out of a job, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., will be, too.”

www.newyorker.com

I guess your satire is about as good as the site you linked to with a subscriber wall. No reedee no fuckee.

Trump's worth a million dollars a week as he gets more done in a week for a million dollars than Obama got done in 8 years at a cost of 9 trillion dollars.

Trump: A bargain in any economy.

 

[BasicHumanUnit]

Leftists trying to cope with Trump's 2nd term.........

 

[the other mike]

I guess your satire is about as good as the site you linked to with a subscriber wall.

It's just a pop-up that you can click off, but otherwise I agree. I won't give a penny to NY Times or WaPo to read their propaganda.

 

[toobfreak]

It's just a pop-up that you can click off

THE FUCK IT IS. It BLOCKS ME unless I allow its cookies to track me. Fuk dat.

 

[depotoo]

It's just a pop-up that you can click off

THE FUCK IT IS. It BLOCKS ME unless I allow its cookies to track me. Fuk dat.


View attachment 373806

I think it goes to the Borowitz Report satire column.

Satire from the Borowitz Report

Not the news.

www.newyorker.com

 

[Mac-7]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump raised eyebrows on Monday by signing an executive order granting himself a million-dollar unemployment check if he leaves office in January.​

​

Trump said that he will deserve the seven-figure check if the election is “stolen” by what he called “a conspiracy between the U.S. Postal Service and Antifa.”​

​

In a further defense of the huge payment, Trump said, “If I’m out of a job, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., will be, too.”​

​

The executive order immediately drew howls of protest from congressional Democrats, as well as from the Republican senator Ben Sasse, who called it “a steaming pile of constitutional crap.”​

​

Unmoved, Trump called the Nebraska senator “Poor Li’l Sassy” and argued that the executive order was a “work of genius” that should guarantee him a place on Mt. Rushmore.​

​

“Those beauties like Lincoln and Jefferson never thought of anything this smart,” he said. “They would be lucky if I let my head be carved out of the same rock as theirs.”​

Trump Signs New Executive Order Granting Himself Unemployment Check in January

In defense of the huge payment, Trump said, “If I’m out of a job, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., will be, too.”

www.newyorker.com

Who in lib la la land is responsible for making up these lies?

this is not satire

its just lying

 

[AzogtheDefiler]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump raised eyebrows on Monday by signing an executive order granting himself a million-dollar unemployment check if he leaves office in January.​

​

Trump said that he will deserve the seven-figure check if the election is “stolen” by what he called “a conspiracy between the U.S. Postal Service and Antifa.”​

​

In a further defense of the huge payment, Trump said, “If I’m out of a job, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., will be, too.”​

​

The executive order immediately drew howls of protest from congressional Democrats, as well as from the Republican senator Ben Sasse, who called it “a steaming pile of constitutional crap.”​

​

Unmoved, Trump called the Nebraska senator “Poor Li’l Sassy” and argued that the executive order was a “work of genius” that should guarantee him a place on Mt. Rushmore.​

​

“Those beauties like Lincoln and Jefferson never thought of anything this smart,” he said. “They would be lucky if I let my head be carved out of the same rock as theirs.”​

Trump Signs New Executive Order Granting Himself Unemployment Check in January

In defense of the huge payment, Trump said, “If I’m out of a job, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., will be, too.”

www.newyorker.com

LOL --- he also declared himself to be the first woman president. Don't assume his gender.

 

[MarathonMike]

That would have been kind of funny if Trump hadn't been working for free these last 4 years.

 

[DrLove]

It's just a pop-up that you can click off

THE FUCK IT IS. It BLOCKS ME unless I allow its cookies to track me. Fuk dat.

New Yorker gives you 5 freebees and then they cut you off. Got nothing to with cookies other than they track the number of your hits until you delete your cookies. Stick with the Doc - I can prescribe something for your idiocy.

 

[Meathead]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump raised eyebrows on Monday by signing an executive order granting himself a million-dollar unemployment check if he leaves office in January.​

​

Trump said that he will deserve the seven-figure check if the election is “stolen” by what he called “a conspiracy between the U.S. Postal Service and Antifa.”​

​

In a further defense of the huge payment, Trump said, “If I’m out of a job, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., will be, too.”​

​

The executive order immediately drew howls of protest from congressional Democrats, as well as from the Republican senator Ben Sasse, who called it “a steaming pile of constitutional crap.”​

​

Unmoved, Trump called the Nebraska senator “Poor Li’l Sassy” and argued that the executive order was a “work of genius” that should guarantee him a place on Mt. Rushmore.​

​

“Those beauties like Lincoln and Jefferson never thought of anything this smart,” he said. “They would be lucky if I let my head be carved out of the same rock as theirs.”​

Trump Signs New Executive Order Granting Himself Unemployment Check in January

In defense of the huge payment, Trump said, “If I’m out of a job, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., will be, too.”

www.newyorker.com

I can hardly tell the difference betwixt the Horowitz Report and CNN these days.

 

[Mac-7]

New Yorker gives you 5 freebees and then they cut you off.

If they only gave one freebee I would never get cut off

 

[DrLove]

That would have been kind of funny if Trump hadn't been working for free these last 4 years.

A lousy 400 grand a year in comparison to the millions if not billions he's grifted off the American people?
You a funny feller! -

 

[toobfreak]

Got nothing to [do] with cookies other than ~ ~ ~ until you delete your cookies.

Yeah, you're wrapped real tight.

 

[miketx]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump raised eyebrows on Monday by signing an executive order granting himself a million-dollar unemployment check if he leaves office in January.​

​

Trump said that he will deserve the seven-figure check if the election is “stolen” by what he called “a conspiracy between the U.S. Postal Service and Antifa.”​

​

In a further defense of the huge payment, Trump said, “If I’m out of a job, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., will be, too.”​

​

The executive order immediately drew howls of protest from congressional Democrats, as well as from the Republican senator Ben Sasse, who called it “a steaming pile of constitutional crap.”​

​

Unmoved, Trump called the Nebraska senator “Poor Li’l Sassy” and argued that the executive order was a “work of genius” that should guarantee him a place on Mt. Rushmore.​

​

“Those beauties like Lincoln and Jefferson never thought of anything this smart,” he said. “They would be lucky if I let my head be carved out of the same rock as theirs.”​

Trump Signs New Executive Order Granting Himself Unemployment Check in January

In defense of the huge payment, Trump said, “If I’m out of a job, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., will be, too.”

www.newyorker.com

LOL --- he also declared himself to be the first woman president. Don't assume his gender.