10. Although I have no computer background, the Administration said I was the most qualified to design the website because my DNA proves I am the exact racial makeup of the United States: Im 77.9% white, 16.9% latino, 13.1% black, 5% asian, 1.2% native american or alaskan, .2% hawaiian or pacific islander, and 2.4% mutt, so ITS NOT MY FAULT.
9. Dont blame me, Sebelius told me the website was to sell lottery tickets.
8. I won the Presidents NCAA Tourney Bracket Pool last year, and the contract to design the website was the prize.
7. I built the Presidents home brew system, so he figured I could do this too.
6. Hey look, my real job is selecting targets for drone strikes, and I did the website in my spare time.
5. All the people in the administration who actually understand this stuff were working on the Presidents donor database.
4. Ive been designing government websites for years, and nobody expected them to actually work before.
3. What people dont understand is the website is designed to capture your ISP, download all data from your hard drive including copies of every email you ever sent and do a financial background check and compare that to your IRS filings. All that takes time.
2. As Gods my witness, I never expected any American would be crazy enough to sign up.
1. The website is performing as the Administration directed, first we destroy the concept of insured American, so then we put everyone on medicare and tax everyone 20% of their income capped at $50,000.
9. Dont blame me, Sebelius told me the website was to sell lottery tickets.
8. I won the Presidents NCAA Tourney Bracket Pool last year, and the contract to design the website was the prize.
7. I built the Presidents home brew system, so he figured I could do this too.
6. Hey look, my real job is selecting targets for drone strikes, and I did the website in my spare time.
5. All the people in the administration who actually understand this stuff were working on the Presidents donor database.
4. Ive been designing government websites for years, and nobody expected them to actually work before.
3. What people dont understand is the website is designed to capture your ISP, download all data from your hard drive including copies of every email you ever sent and do a financial background check and compare that to your IRS filings. All that takes time.
2. As Gods my witness, I never expected any American would be crazy enough to sign up.
1. The website is performing as the Administration directed, first we destroy the concept of insured American, so then we put everyone on medicare and tax everyone 20% of their income capped at $50,000.
