To Pay Back $20 Million Campaign Debt, Kamala Harris Agrees To Fight Jake Paul

[Votto]

To Pay Back $20 Million Campaign Debt, Kamala Harris Agrees To Fight Jake Paul
Politics·Nov 18, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
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WILMINGTON, DE — After finding out how much money former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson made from his highly publicized Netflix exhibition fight, failed presidential candidate Kamala Harris announced plans to pay back her $20 million campaign debt by agreeing to fight Jake Paul early next year.

With her campaign severely in the red following her lopsided loss to Donald Trump this month, Harris had been searching for quick and easy ways to pay down the remaining debt, making a prize fight against Paul an appealing option.

"It's time for me to wipe that smug smile off Jake Paul's face and make a truckload of cash," Harris said in a statement announcing the fight. "If Mike Tyson can do it at the age of 58, I can do it at 60, am I right? HAHAHA! Besides, age is just a number. Campaign debt is a number. Numbers tell a story. But not with words. With numbers. And the story they tell is time. And the story of time is us. And that's why I'm going to fight Jake Paul in 2025 to get my campaign out of astronomical debt. You better get ready, Jake! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

A Harris-Walz insider revealed the campaign was hoping the proceeds from a match with Paul would yield enough revenue to make up for the exorbitant fees paid to celebrities like Oprah and Beyonce to appear and endorse what ended up being Harris's losing effort. "This could solve all of our problems," the source said. "Even if she loses — which, let's be honest, that's all she ever does — she'll come away with a cool $20 million. We'll all be looking forward to the loss this time around."

At publishing time, Harris's efforts to get her campaign out of debt had hit obstacles after Harris offered to pay John Legend and Julia Roberts $10 million each to help promote her fight with Paul.

 

[toobfreak]

To Pay Back $20 Million Campaign Debt, Kamala Harris Agrees To Fight Jake Paul​

I'd pay $200 to see Paul lay out Harris with a hard slug to the face!
She would be out like a light, horizontal in the air, and drop straight to the mat lifeless.
It would be the shortest match in history but well worth the cost.

 

[Rambunctious]

She blew a lot of money... watch for the long knives to come out... other dems will begin to get very angry....

 

[toobfreak]

She blew a lot of money... watch for the long knives to come out... other dems will begin to get very angry....

I wonder who is going to front Kammy the 20 mill now that she has lost, spent 10X as much as Trump, and blew most of it on lavish entertainment guests?
Maybe she ought to be forced to declare bankruptcy and be made to liquidate all her assets.

 

[justoffal]

I wonder who is going to front Kammy the 20 mill now that she has lost, spent 10X as much as Trump, and blew most of it on lavish entertainment guests?
Maybe she ought to be forced to declare bankruptcy and be made to liquidate all her assets.

Well Joe and Jill of course.... they're so close these days.

 

[Mikeoxenormous]

To Pay Back $20 Million Campaign Debt, Kamala Harris Agrees To Fight Jake Paul
Politics·Nov 18, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.
View attachment 1043547

WILMINGTON, DE — After finding out how much money former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson made from his highly publicized Netflix exhibition fight, failed presidential candidate Kamala Harris announced plans to pay back her $20 million campaign debt by agreeing to fight Jake Paul early next year.

With her campaign severely in the red following her lopsided loss to Donald Trump this month, Harris had been searching for quick and easy ways to pay down the remaining debt, making a prize fight against Paul an appealing option.

"It's time for me to wipe that smug smile off Jake Paul's face and make a truckload of cash," Harris said in a statement announcing the fight. "If Mike Tyson can do it at the age of 58, I can do it at 60, am I right? HAHAHA! Besides, age is just a number. Campaign debt is a number. Numbers tell a story. But not with words. With numbers. And the story they tell is time. And the story of time is us. And that's why I'm going to fight Jake Paul in 2025 to get my campaign out of astronomical debt. You better get ready, Jake! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

A Harris-Walz insider revealed the campaign was hoping the proceeds from a match with Paul would yield enough revenue to make up for the exorbitant fees paid to celebrities like Oprah and Beyonce to appear and endorse what ended up being Harris's losing effort. "This could solve all of our problems," the source said. "Even if she loses — which, let's be honest, that's all she ever does — she'll come away with a cool $20 million. We'll all be looking forward to the loss this time around."

At publishing time, Harris's efforts to get her campaign out of debt had hit obstacles after Harris offered to pay John Legend and Julia Roberts $10 million each to help promote her fight with Paul.

This is just me speculating, but a 1000 million dollars is a lot of money. Yeah, Camel Toe spent money here, spent money there, but come on, there is no way she spent all that dough. The way i figure, is that she embezzled much of that money, lets say $250 million, in some offshore accounts, then when she lost, she would only have a few grand left in the bank, and that would make her look like a genius in spending, while winning, nothing would be done. But to lose, now she over estimated her costs, thus having 20 million in debt, and she cant go and get the offshore money, for then she would be arrested for criminal intent. But we shall soon find out with the new AG working with the FEC, on her financial troubles.

 

[Darkwind]

To Pay Back $20 Million Campaign Debt, Kamala Harris Agrees To Fight Jake Paul
Politics·Nov 18, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.
View attachment 1043547

WILMINGTON, DE — After finding out how much money former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson made from his highly publicized Netflix exhibition fight, failed presidential candidate Kamala Harris announced plans to pay back her $20 million campaign debt by agreeing to fight Jake Paul early next year.

With her campaign severely in the red following her lopsided loss to Donald Trump this month, Harris had been searching for quick and easy ways to pay down the remaining debt, making a prize fight against Paul an appealing option.

"It's time for me to wipe that smug smile off Jake Paul's face and make a truckload of cash," Harris said in a statement announcing the fight. "If Mike Tyson can do it at the age of 58, I can do it at 60, am I right? HAHAHA! Besides, age is just a number. Campaign debt is a number. Numbers tell a story. But not with words. With numbers. And the story they tell is time. And the story of time is us. And that's why I'm going to fight Jake Paul in 2025 to get my campaign out of astronomical debt. You better get ready, Jake! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

A Harris-Walz insider revealed the campaign was hoping the proceeds from a match with Paul would yield enough revenue to make up for the exorbitant fees paid to celebrities like Oprah and Beyonce to appear and endorse what ended up being Harris's losing effort. "This could solve all of our problems," the source said. "Even if she loses — which, let's be honest, that's all she ever does — she'll come away with a cool $20 million. We'll all be looking forward to the loss this time around."

At publishing time, Harris's efforts to get her campaign out of debt had hit obstacles after Harris offered to pay John Legend and Julia Roberts $10 million each to help promote her fight with Paul.

Okay, that was funny.