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The Babylon Bee Would Like To Announce We Are Joining NPR In Suing The Government For Not Giving Us Millions Of Dollars
The Babylon Bee·May 28, 2025 · BabylonBee.comThe Babylon Bee would like to announce that we have officially joined National Public Radio in suing the government for not giving us tens of millions of dollars.
The Bee only recently became aware that the government is supposed to give us a bunch of money for reporting the news. Apparently, the government not giving us truckloads of cash is totally illegal. Our not knowing that was frankly a pretty big oversight, and we fired all of our lawyers as a result. We hired new lawyers though, and they filed a motion this morning to join NPR's lawsuit in order that we may get the taxpayer money we so richly deserve.
"Not giving the Babylon Bee lots of money is a clear violation of our First Amendment rights," said Bee CEO Seth Dillon in a statement. "The government simply has no legal basis for refusing to give us $100 million. It's right there in the Constitution. We proudly stand in solidarity with NPR, calling on the federal government to do the right thing and send us a dump truck filled with cash. Anything else would be tantamount to fascism."
The Bee extends its thanks to all of our loyal supporters who are standing behind us in the fight against tyranny, and also the fight for Seth to get a Lambo.
