Substitute Teaching

[Mr. H.]

I've made a couple of posts in the Coffee Shop but figured to just start a thread.

I subbed for 5-6 years before, but it's been quite a while. I recently started back up again and wish I'd done so earlier. It's like I picked up where I left off... which is a good thing. I'm comfortable and confident around the kids and that's crucial, because these little shits can smell fear. And they'll take advantage of it.

These are just fun anecdotal experiences and I'll try to post them when I can.

Today was High School French. The teacher had me show a couple of the classes the movie Tin-Tin. No other instructions. So I set it up to play in French, with English subtitles.

Afterwards, asked the classes "did you notice that a dog barking in French sounds the same as a dog barking in English"?

 

[regent]

When schools still had dress standards a parent was called in because her daughter wore clothing not appropriate for high school. The parent attacked the administrator saying, "Why do you people allow her to dress like that"?

 

[Mr. H.]

Whenever I notice a student writing left-handed, I ask "so... how long have you been left-handed"?

They get this puzzled look, then reply "all my life"

To which I reply "me too- true story".

Sometimes I connect with students on the simplest of levels.

It builds credibility.

 

[Unkotare]

Afterwards, asked the classes "did you notice that a dog barking in French sounds the same as a dog barking in English"?

But does it look the same in onomatopoetic transliteration?

 

[Tom Sweetnam]

Afterwards, asked the classes "did you notice that a dog barking in French sounds the same as a dog barking in English"?

But does it look the same in onomatopoetic transliteration?

Why don't you make another horrible music video and leave the adults alone?

 

[norwegen]

My grandmother's husband subbed for a while. One day, his students told him that the day was early release day, so he dismissed his class. Needless to say, he wasn't called back.

He was later diagnosed with alzheimer's.

 

[Unkotare]

Afterwards, asked the classes "did you notice that a dog barking in French sounds the same as a dog barking in English"?

But does it look the same in onomatopoetic transliteration?

Why don't you make another horrible music video ...?

What the hell are you talking about, fool?

 

[Mr. H.]

Got a call this morning to sub in a 4th grade class. When prompted, I pressed 6 for "prior commitment".

They don't have an option for "hangover".

This school district uses an automated system called Sub Finder. It's really cool. The phone rings and a recording announces the school, grade, and (if appropriate) the subject. If you accept, it tells you the times, where to report, and gives a job number.

I did get a call yesterday to sub tomorrow in a nearby town (half hour drive) for high school math. I'm excited about this one. It's where I attended high school as a freshman back in ought-'69.

 

[Mr. H.]

Glad I didn't take that job today. Had more work at the office than I figured. Also, had a client stop by on her annual Christmas run. Box o' chocolates, jug o' nuts, hats, calendars, planners...

Thought of another funny from the other day...

I was taking roll, reading names from the seating chart (about 20 in that class). I shouted "you'll have to speak up! I've been to a lot of rock concerts the past 40 years and my hearing ain't what it used to be!" LOL

 

[Disir]

I bet you're a great substitute teacher.

 

[Hossfly]

Glad I didn't take that job today. Had more work at the office than I figured. Also, had a client stop by on her annual Christmas run. Box o' chocolates, jug o' nuts, hats, calendars, planners...

Thought of another funny from the other day...

I was taking roll, reading names from the seating chart (about 20 in that class). I shouted "you'll have to speak up! I've been to a lot of rock concerts the past 40 years and my hearing ain't what it used to be!" LOL

Teaching up to 5th grade is OK. After that you have to take karate classes or pack some heat.

 

[WorldWatcher]

This school district uses an automated system called Sub Finder. It's really cool. The phone rings and a recording announces the school, grade, and (if appropriate) the subject. If you accept, it tells you the times, where to report, and gives a job number.

I did get a call yesterday to sub tomorrow in a nearby town (half hour drive) for high school math. I'm excited about this one. It's where I attended high school as a freshman back in ought-'69.

Doesn't your school have the web option?

We had that and you could pick you jobs in advance. The only time the system really had to call was for last minute absences.


>>>>

 

[mgh80]

Glad I didn't take that job today. Had more work at the office than I figured. Also, had a client stop by on her annual Christmas run. Box o' chocolates, jug o' nuts, hats, calendars, planners...

Thought of another funny from the other day...

I was taking roll, reading names from the seating chart (about 20 in that class). I shouted "you'll have to speak up! I've been to a lot of rock concerts the past 40 years and my hearing ain't what it used to be!" LOL

Teaching up to 5th grade is OK. After that you have to take karate classes or pack some heat.

Middle school is the worst! High school's a little better (depending on grade/subject).

 

[Roadrunner]

I've made a couple of posts in the Coffee Shop but figured to just start a thread.

I subbed for 5-6 years before, but it's been quite a while. I recently started back up again and wish I'd done so earlier. It's like I picked up where I left off... which is a good thing. I'm comfortable and confident around the kids and that's crucial, because these little shits can smell fear. And they'll take advantage of it.

These are just fun anecdotal experiences and I'll try to post them when I can.

Today was High School French. The teacher had me show a couple of the classes the movie Tin-Tin. No other instructions. So I set it up to play in French, with English subtitles.

Afterwards, asked the classes "did you notice that a dog barking in French sounds the same as a dog barking in English"?

I am going to look into it to.

But not here where I taught and retired, when I move.

 

[Roadrunner]

When schools still had dress standards a parent was called in because her daughter wore clothing not appropriate for high school. The parent attacked the administrator saying, "Why do you people allow her to dress like that"?

My first year, I had a parent call me, and tell me she was going to be in trouble if her kid missed one more day of school, and would I mind stopping by on my way to school, and waking up her 14 year old daughter at her 21 year old boyfriend's apartment and tell her to get her ass to school.

Somehow, I made another 24.75 years.

 

[Mr. H.]

I've made a couple of posts in the Coffee Shop but figured to just start a thread.

I subbed for 5-6 years before, but it's been quite a while. I recently started back up again and wish I'd done so earlier. It's like I picked up where I left off... which is a good thing. I'm comfortable and confident around the kids and that's crucial, because these little shits can smell fear. And they'll take advantage of it.

These are just fun anecdotal experiences and I'll try to post them when I can.

Today was High School French. The teacher had me show a couple of the classes the movie Tin-Tin. No other instructions. So I set it up to play in French, with English subtitles.

Afterwards, asked the classes "did you notice that a dog barking in French sounds the same as a dog barking in English"?

I am going to look into it to.

But not here where I taught and retired, when I move.

So far, it's been a hoot. The first few months after I first started (1999) the kids chewed me up and spit me out. I'd get home at the end of the day and collapse. But after the first year they were all telling me that I was the best sub they ever had LOL.

I word of caution- and maybe this is just true for my State. I had been contributing to my IRA when I first subbed, when I got a letter from the IRS denying my tax-deductible contribution to the IRA. Turns out, the TRS (Teachers Retirement System) was deducting small amounts from my paycheck and putting it into their system which is a "Qualified Retirement Plan". So rather than me being able to contribute, say, $5,000 to my IRA for the year (pre-tax) just a 10 cent contribution to the TRS would negate that whole pre-tax IRA contribution.

 

[Mr. H.]

This school district uses an automated system called Sub Finder. It's really cool. The phone rings and a recording announces the school, grade, and (if appropriate) the subject. If you accept, it tells you the times, where to report, and gives a job number.

I did get a call yesterday to sub tomorrow in a nearby town (half hour drive) for high school math. I'm excited about this one. It's where I attended high school as a freshman back in ought-'69.

Doesn't your school have the web option?

We had that and you could pick you jobs in advance. The only time the system really had to call was for last minute absences.


>>>>

Good point, thanks.
I was wondering why I got all these last minute calls LOL.
Sub Finder does have a website. I'll check that out.

 

[Mr. H.]

Today I drove to a nearby school district where I was a freshman in high school. I transferred after that one year. As soon as I got out of my car, there was one of my classmates! She's a one-on-one teacher for an autistic child to whom she later introduced me. I told her "you realize we haven't been in this building together for 45 years"? Anyhow- lots of memories came flooding back as I walked the halls.

It all went smoothly except for the Geometry class. I handed out worksheets and the entire class seemed lost. They told me the teacher hadn't prepared them for the material. I later relayed this to the Principal and he said "that sounds familiar". Oh- and the classroom was my old Biology class. It's been divided into two separate classrooms. I had fun telling the kids some old stories from my days there.

The last period was Study Hall, and they all signed out to go to the library except four students. So I used that time to fill out a stack of employment paperwork.

The kids called my attention to the window and pointed out a doughnut on the roof that they say has been there for 38 days. So I told them about my ten year old Twinkie. They were impressed.

 

[Mr. H.]

Interesting day today in High School English. Two Honors classes and four English 2 classes.

I was taking roll in one class when I stopped halfway through it and said "why don't we do this the easy way- anyone who's absent, just raise your hand".

One gal excused herself to go to the restroom. After a few minutes, I went to the back of the room and opened the door to check the hallway for her. Well, as soon as I opened the door she walked in.

Everyone was looking at me with their mouths open and asked "how did you know she was at the door"?
I said "see these gray hairs? Experience". LOL

No one showed up for morning tutorial and that was followed by a Prep period so that was really boring.
The first Honors English class had some really good kids. I heard a commotion in the hall, and everyone stood up and headed for the door. I'm like "what's up"? It was a fire alarm. Turned out that a smoke detector malfunctioned. Then the rest of the day's schedule was messed up because there was an assembly that afternoon. They let me go home for lunch an hour early since this teacher had a "dead" spot in the altered schedule.

 

[mgh80]

When schools still had dress standards a parent was called in because her daughter wore clothing not appropriate for high school. The parent attacked the administrator saying, "Why do you people allow her to dress like that"?

My first year, I had a parent call me, and tell me she was going to be in trouble if her kid missed one more day of school, and would I mind stopping by on my way to school, and waking up her 14 year old daughter at her 21 year old boyfriend's apartment and tell her to get her ass to school.

Somehow, I made another 24.75 years.

This year I had a parent ask me if I would look at essays that she's making her son complete for practice practice. She makes him write an essay every single day and expects me to grade them and have them back by the next day. I honestly don't mind that much...but I just shudder to think what he goes through at home.

Some parents don't get that they can't pass the classes or get good grades for their students.