Relationship Discussions Thread

[dilloduck]

Perhaps this is so. Maybe she's more discreet. Maybe she chooses a better type of person to cheat with. But we don't know......And when it comes right down to it, THAT didn't matter when he decided to cheat.

Maybe she was punishing him with lack of sex or the silent treatment so he went elsewhere.

 

[freeandfun1]

Maybe she was punishing him with lack of sex or the silent treatment so he went elsewhere.

Yup. In the thread about the lack of sex in Japanese marriages, one thing that didn't get covered is how it is usually the choice of the WOMAN to withold sex and that is usually what drives men to cheating. Not always, but more often than not.

 

[Joz]

Maybe she was punishing him with lack of sex or the silent treatment so he went elsewhere.

That's a possibility. (you're bound & determined to throw a dig in when you can) Maybe they should have tried communicating first. Maybe they found out there wasn't any real chemistry.....just attraction/lust, nothing to hold the union together.

 

[Mr. P]

I think you will find a way to disagree with ANYTHING I reply with...so...good luck.

(sigh)


Your counter-points are moving closer and closer to how a liberal debates politics.

"Chemistry can keep a marriage sex-life together"

You read that as:

"Chemistry does everything"

see where the disconnect is? You aren't reading what i'm typing, you're reading what you want to see.

It could be that you've never had real 'chemistry' with a woman? I dunno. I've experienced it, and it was one of the most powerfull things ever...years later (now) i'm STILL talking about it.

Chemistry between a man and a woman is VITAL for a happy, healthy sex life. Sex without 'chemistry' between the couple is barely above masturbation in terms of 'usefullness'.

I'm going to speculate that you will reply to that last section with something like:
"It's impossible to romance and take time with one's mate for sex. Quickies behind the shed can be just as bonding".

So - here's my reply to what I think you may be thinking:

You may not be reading. I'm saying 'Chemistry' is a bond that brings people together...and when one has chemistry with the person one has sex with, things are amazing; I'd argue w/o chemistry, one would never GET the quickies.

Sometimes you're such a putz, D. :baby4:

 

[Nienna]

I'm soooo glad you can admit that. (and maybe that's just tongue-in-cheek) That you are capable of satifying your mate dispite the fact that you are exhausted from running a house & rearing 4 children. I sure hope he values you. You indeed are rare.

Thanks, Joz! I love the Words of Praise!

 

[dilloduck]

Yup. In the thread about the lack of sex in Japanese marriages, one thing that didn't get covered is how it is usually the choice of the WOMAN to withold sex and that is usually what drives men to cheating. Not always, but more often than not.

I'm not sure what the statute of limitations is on punishment of any relationship "crime" for that matter.

 

[Nienna]

Buying a woman off?? does that work?

Maybe her love language is Gifts.

 

[dmp]

Sometimes you're such a putz, D. :baby4:

Excellent contribution! nice post!

:bangheads

 

[Joz]

Yup. In the thread about the lack of sex in Japanese marriages, one thing that didn't get covered is how it is usually the choice of the WOMAN to withold sex and that is usually what drives men to cheating. Not always, but more often than not.

But in this country, either party withholding sex, is a 'power struggle'. And other cultures accept the mistress more so than we do.

 

[freeandfun1]

But in this country, either party withholding sex, is a 'power struggle'. And other cultures accept the mistress more so than we do.

Yes, you are right. Here it is more about power than anything else. In many marriages the struggles for power include contolling either money or sex or both.

 

[dilloduck]

Maybe her love language is Gifts.

"Love language"---that must explain oral sex

 

[Joz]

Maybe her love language is Gifts.

VERY good point.

 

[Joz]

Yes, you are right. Here it is more about power than anything else. In many marriages the struggles for power include contolling either money or sex or both.

But why is that????

 

[dilloduck]

But why is that????

Equal rights

 

[freeandfun1]

But why is that????

Each person's reason is different and usually can be traced back to some childhood experiences.

 

[freeandfun1]

Each person's reason is different and usually can be traced back to some childhood experiences.

Oh, that and maturity. For one to overcome their problems all they need to do is grow up a bit and look at things differently. but we all tend to hold onto at least some part of our "inner-child".

 

[dilloduck]

Oh, that and maturity. For one to overcome their problems all they need to do is grow up a bit and look at things differently. but we all tend to hold onto at least some part of our "inner-child".

Woman have taken it on the chin for years but now that we are all supposed to be equal there is no designated "submisive" one. Hence the battles.

 

[Joz]

Equal rights

We've come a long way, Baby, haven't we?

 

[no1tovote4]

Maybe her love language is Gifts.

My wife's is the amount of back-breaking work that I do around the house.

Not vacuuming, not mowing, nooo...

I have to dig a pond. Put up a fence, build a barn....

I love it. shhh don't tell her I said so.

 

[dilloduck]

We've come a long way, Baby, haven't we?

I guess---submission at ANY time seems to be quite the betrayal of the whole gender I guess.