A castaway who claims to have spent more than a year adrift in the Pacific Ocean says his faith in God kept him going through the ordeal. But there were times, he said, when he wanted to end it all. There were plenty of those bleak moments, he said: When he didn't have food and water. When a boy traveling with him starved to death. The man, calling himself Jose Salvador Alvarenga, was washed up last week in a heavily damaged boat on a remote coral atoll in the Marshall Islands. He claimed he had been living off fish and turtles he had caught and relying on rainwater, and sometimes his own urine, to drink.
Map: Drifter found in Pacific
He said he had been lost at sea for 13 months, after setting off from Mexico -- thousands of miles to the east. Many questions remain about how he could have lived on his small boat for so long as it drifted across the ocean. In an exclusive interview Tuesday, CNN asked Alvarenga how he survived his time at sea. He pointed upward and said, "God ... My faith in God." "I thought, 'I am going to get out,'" he said. "Get out, get out, get out."
But he also admitted to dark moments, saying he considered killing himself. "Twice I wanted to," he said, as he gestured slitting his throat. "I wanted to with a knife. When I didn't have water, food; I gave up and I grabbed a knife." But he didn't go through with the act, he said, because he was "scared." During his long period at sea, Alvarenga said he lost track of the date and the day of the week. He would follow the sun's path across the sky, he said, indicating the movement with his hands as he spoke. "(I didn't know) the date or the day, only the hours," he said. "Only when it was getting dark and when the light was coming out."
'We will have him back soon'